Straightshooter  

What took you so long at the Pharmacy?

The usual. Someone trying to get Oxycontin with a prescription written in crayon.

How did they expect to get away with that?

They told the pharmacist it was from a children's doctor.

That's the stupidest thing I ever heard.

Actually, it might have worked if they hadn't written, "Needs it real, real, baaad" in the prescription.