Straightshooter  

Hi! I'm your new apartment manager. I'm here to inspect your/our home!

Ugh. I know. I've spent all week dusting light switches, cleaning the back of my mirror and several other obscure places no one would ever be concerned with, except this complex.

Looks good to me. Bye!

WAIT! Aren't you even going to come in? There might be a speck underneath the toilet or a stray piece of lint in the corner of the room I never use?? You know, the SERIOUS SHIT!!!!!

No white glove test. No microscope examination of my sponge for bacteria count. Just trust that I know what I'm doing.... . WHERE THE FUCK AM I AND HOW DID I GET HERE?