That's Some Mean Cuisine

Author: ZMannZilla

Date: August 6, 2010

by ZMannZilla
8-06-10
Upon the meal's presentation, the warm, heady aroma gives bold promises of peanuts and aged gouda - promises that this bland, autumn entree cannot keep.
Every bite, from start to finish, was laboriously tolerable at best. The soft texture and amateur flavor, with its sharp obnoxious notes of parmesian and corn, coated my palette most uncomfortably.
It took all the healing powers of a brisk, fruity '96 merlot to rescue my horrified taste buds from the choking, gritty aftertaste. I completed this meal solely as a charity to the chef.
And now, thanks in part to the delicious and welcoming gallon of gasoline I just drank, I bid thee adieu.
  THE MORAL:   Never tell a food reviewer to "eat shit and die".