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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of TeatimeÂ®.
George W. Bush President. Defended the whorehouses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.

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End Times LXXXIX

by andydougan
12-28-02

Roger Bollen, cartoonist behind "Animal Crackers"


	So you were the one who ordered the terrorist attack of October 21st, 2001?


	In person!


	I'm investigating the disappearance of John Pienaar, a BBC journalist who was reportedly in the Evening Times building on that fateful day.


	I don't know about him. I was just trying to shut down the newspaper. He was but collateral damage.


	Okay, thanks for your help, Mr Bollen. Just one last thing, and I'm asking as a fan of your work - where do you get your ideas?


	I steal them off "Suddenly Susan". And take out the funny bits.

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andydougan
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