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  andydougan  
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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of Teatime®.
George W. Bush President. Defended the whorehouses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.

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by andydougan
12-28-02
Andy Dougan, film critic to the stars
So you were the only survivor of the terrorist atrocity of October 21st?
Yeah, as chronicled in the recent BBC programme.
Hmm. The trail is going cold quickly.
Funny thing happened to me a while ago, though. This buried person in the graveyard started talking to me.
I don't think that can possibly be of the slightest relevance.
Just thought I'd bring it up. You haven't seen my mum anywhere, have you?
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