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  andydougan  
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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of Teatime®.
George W. Bush President. Defended the whorehouses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.

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by andydougan
4-12-05
Chez Crowe
Where am I?
You're in our house. You started a fight, lost it, and had your broken body dragged out of the bar by the pubic hair. It was a completely vile spectacle.
Well, whoever it was, I'm sure they had it coming to them.
What? You're the one who got your ass beat. Your opponent escaped without a scratch on her.
Uh...there weren't any photographers around, were there?
I'll let this week's Time answer that one.
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