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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of Teatime®.
George W. Bush President. Defended the *****houses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.


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by andydougan
Good morning, Susie. Where are your glasses today?
I've got new contact lenses, Mr Dinove. My daddy says they make me look very pretty.
That's nice. I heard a story about a little boy with contact lenses. He_was_having_dinner with his mummy and daddy, he_choked on a bit of food, and the lenses slipped round behind his eyes...
Daddy, what do "severed", "optic nerves" and "don't worry, it might be apocryphal" mean?
Has that teacher of yours been at it again?
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