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adventures of an arbitrary aardvark

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by arbi
i'm not going to go do comedy tonight. i'm too despondent to try to pretend to be cheerful, and it's not fair for them to bring the audience down to where i am.
i just had a niece, no, nice talk with tommy about options, but it seemed so hopeless my stomach started hurting like it did when dad was around. pain from fear.
i moved stuff around in the back yard, and i could see the dilapidated fence, the broken down cars, the piles of stuff, much more clearly than usual.
i did what little i could but it will never be enough. made a plan with brian to scrap the two volvos, and the plan is fix the white van, and the blue volvo is a potential obstacle.
i am writing up my disability application
everything hopeless these days. i will get up early for plasma, and bring a book. just had an unwelcome visitor.
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