...so, you want to know how I got this hook and eye patch, eh? (Arrrrrghhh!) I'll explain...
Groovy!
I lost me left hand in a sword fight with Blue Beard. (Arrrrrgghhh!)
And, the eye patch..?
One morning, soon after having the hook installed, I was putting in me contacts... (Arrrrrgghh!) ...well, me being left-handed, and half-drunk on Captain Morgan... I think you get the picture...