When I'm playing tournament hold 'em and take a bad beat that knocks me out, I normally handle it well because, you know, that's poker.
Groovy!
"But, every once-in-awhile, some jackball donkey calls my pre-flop all-in with an unbelievably bad hand..."
You risked 87% of your stack calling my all-in with a seven-duece offsuit against my pocket aces????
Sorry. I'm just a beginner.
"...and knocks me out, causing me to spend the rest of the night at home talking like Rain Man in the dark!"
Donky calls me with 7-2 offsuit against my aces at a 5% odds of winning. No, make that 4.748%. Yeah, 4.748%. Of course, Judge Wopner wouldn't have called. But, Donkey calls and *BANG*!
says: