Eternal bliss! Don't miss out, get it right here! Never-ending happiness! It's yours if you switch to Verizon for long-distance!
Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal!
Of course it is, my son! And really, if you're permanently happy, will you even care who your long-distance carrier is?
I'm sold! Where do I sign -- but, wait a minute... how can I possibly be happy as long as I'm a Verizon customer?
Damn you, Neal! You've won this time, but I'll be back! And when I'm through, you'll pay a fortune for the worst service since the telephone was invented -- AND LIKE IT!
Look, Satan, if you want my eternal soul, that's one thing, but trying to get me to switch to Verizon is just mean!
