evil_d  
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by evil_d
7-27-17
I like my press secretaries like I like my wives: much younger than me, and willing to offer superficial encouragement while letting me do whatever I want.
So after my speech at the Jamboree, I thought, of course! I should get myself a Boy Scout!
Don't worry, Mr. Trump; I learned everything I need to know from your speech. The media is fake, crowds are big, and you won the election and fixed the economy through sheer charisma.
Perfect. You're hired.
Can you pay me in sex yachts?
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