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| So, after spending days and nights drinking under the Bodhi tree with my good friend Mara, I came up with these four noble truths. | |
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| 1) Life is suffering. 2) The cause of suffering is consciousness. 3) Freedom from consciousness comes from the attainment of oblivion. | |
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| And 4) the way to oblivion is to follow the 8-fold path of drinking yourself into misunderstanding, thoughtlessness, slurred speech, inaction, shiftlessness, laziness, mindlessness and distraction. | |
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