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Iain M. Banks: The Player of Games in 3 Panels

by jes_lawson
1-13-03

Step 1. Jernau Morat Gurgeh, The Culture's greatest game player, is blackmailed into going halfway across the galaxy to play the ultimate game


	You've got to defeat an entire empire of bisexual aliens at Unreal Tournament, or I tell everyone you cheat at Go. Then I bitchslap you with my effector! Repeatedly!


	Shit! I'll take the bitchslapping! No, wait...what was the other one?

Step 2. Gurgeh immerses himself in the aliens culture, defeats all comers easily, but gains respect for them. The aliens are still, however, pissed.


	Please don't shoot! In winning this game as complex as life I have given my own life meaning! HELP!


	Silence Infidel! You have no God, are not bisexual, and are alien! W3 w1ll 0wn yuo b1tch!!

Step 3. Apolcalyptic climax. Reveal that Gurgeh is a pawn (ha!) in a political espionage play by the machines to promote, yep! Galactic socialist atheism!


	They were an evil empire founded on institutional religious notions of superiority, sexual repression and genocide! They had to go!


	Glad I have no concept of Right and Wrong. Or irony. Or what a "set-up" means. And they weren't so bad; they never once tried to hack into my ISP.

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jes_lawson stripcreator donor

jes_lawson
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