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Cut me up and pass me around. Like a pizza.

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I am a homeless man. I do not have an umbrella which puts me at risk of pneumonia when I sleep outside in the rain.
If only you were a businessman like me, then you could have a businessman sized umbrella.
Perhaps you could give me your umbrella? I am so very cold.
Not a chance. You're not a businessman and therefore not entitled to this size of umbrella. At the best you might be allowed a normal person sized umbrella.
Is there a special size of umbrella for us homeless folk?
Yes, have you ever seen the paper ones that come in ****tails?
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