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Funnier than lung cancer, but not as funny as rectal cancer.
Claus and Effect
Kathy Lee Gifford! I need your advice. How do you get the world to stop talking about you having a sweatshop?
Oh, that's easy. You just give them something else to talk about that upsets them more.
Well, what could be more upsetting to people than running a sweatshop?
That's the hard part. I don't think I've found one yet either.
I'll have to think some more on that, then.
Yeah. Good luck on that. Hey, Wanna see some pictures of my son, Cody? He did the cutest thing the other day. He was in the bathroom and he was playing Blahblahblahblah Blahblahblahblah
05/10/16 - He has a point.
09/21/13 - Good job!
07/30/13 - The Chicken or the Argh
07/22/13 - Awkward conversations: Bitten by the bug
01/28/13 - Cosmetwitch surgery
04/01/12 - Foolin' around
03/18/12 - No interest
12/18/11 - That's what friends are for
09/07/11 - Thumbs, Part II
09/07/11 - Thumbs, Part I
09/07/11 - LOLignment
07/30/11 - Guinness - Breaking Records in Inspiring Bad Business Ideas
06/27/11 - Thundera thighs
06/22/11 - Sword of O, man.
06/14/11 - Even the cool jobs suck sometimes
06/08/11 - The Dating Game
06/08/11 - In the eye of the beholder
05/16/11 - It's the end of the puns as we know them, and I feel fine!
05/13/11 - The things you learn at a pub quiz...
05/08/11 - Isn't "free-thinker" a categorization?
04/12/11 - Sommelier Pirates
03/24/11 - Think he gets 401k matching?
03/23/11 - Tastes like short-term strategy!
03/10/11 - This comic is not available at your security clearance
03/06/11 - Spoiler #4: The viciousness cycle
03/03/11 - Curb your #paranoia, geeks. These are just the infrareds.
03/03/11 - The officer's lament
02/24/11 - Pork and dreams
02/22/11 - Such tsuris!
02/22/11 - But is it art?
10/08/10 - Vocabulary class
10/07/10 - Going Postal
10/07/10 - Deflator Mouse
08/26/10 - Beware
08/25/10 - Ignore/block
08/03/10 - What to do in the event of an emergency
07/31/10 - The Reverse-Yoko
07/31/10 - The punchline's a Zynga
07/15/10 - A meeting with my publisher
07/13/10 - And that's how she ended up with a chia pet
07/12/10 - Pay no attention to the man behind the merkin!
06/26/10 - Too much internet in my porn
06/23/10 - Lessons from mom
06/22/10 - Don't knock sense
06/20/10 - Just say no.
06/19/10 - If you already know, why do you ask?
06/17/10 - And why the hell did you bid?
06/17/10 - Smug cat is smug
06/16/10 - Transcendental Medication
06/15/10 - Testing the waters
06/14/10 - Ironic humor
06/13/10 - More one-note characters
06/13/10 - Schtick Figures
06/12/10 - OPC #51: What they do when you miss a payment
06/12/10 - Loosely based on a real conversation
06/12/10 - A hair over the line
06/11/10 - Transfusing musings
06/11/10 - Transfusing musings
06/11/10 - Transfusing musings
06/10/10 - A gut feeling, part 2
06/10/10 - Quotables: The Series, Episode XI - Benjamin Franklin
06/09/10 - FML
06/05/10 - The Red Balloon Planet
06/03/10 - Crazy Hot
06/02/10 - On the watercooler front
06/01/10 - And you thought the REAL mafia was scary.
05/31/10 - Razing awareness
05/29/10 - Suitability iii
05/27/10 - Suitability 2
05/27/10 - Suitability
05/26/10 - A gut feeling
05/25/10 - It's not just for Mafia Wars
05/24/10 - Added bonus?
05/24/10 - Spoiler #3: Metaspoiler
05/24/10 - Spoiler #2
05/23/10 - How I will not be spending my Monday
05/23/10 - Wild Kingdom
05/21/10 - No one really wins at Quarters
05/20/10 - Reanimated joke
05/19/10 - In the Loop
05/18/10 - Stork reality
05/17/10 - Sociopathic Medicine
05/17/10 - ...but the other one was about mimes
05/16/10 - Prone to sneezures
05/16/10 - Slick
05/16/10 - Softening the blow
05/15/10 - The one-panel anti-joke
05/15/10 - Street cleaning
05/14/10 - Adding insult to injury
05/13/10 - How many pricks does it take to make a tattoo?
05/12/10 - Why I can't stay clean
05/11/10 - Tae Kwon D'oh!
05/10/10 - The name is confusing
05/09/10 - Join the club
05/08/10 - The Never Ending Series, Episode 10: Cheesy
05/07/10 - Ways to get arrested in NYC
05/06/10 - Typo negative
05/06/10 - Hewlett Peckered
05/05/10 - Sensory deprivation
05/04/10 - Better than Hell
05/03/10 - Body Transformation
05/02/10 - Modern-day bogeymen that kids would do well to fear
05/02/10 - Soylentburger
05/01/10 - That's what friends are for
04/30/10 - Irate Pirate
04/29/10 - International House of Puncakes
04/28/10 - But it's done. So there.
04/27/10 - Me-ouch
04/26/10 - Put a CORK in it
04/25/10 - Liberty and justice for all
04/24/10 - For a good cause
04/24/10 - The Aftermath of Jen McCreight's Boobquake
04/23/10 - Here's that hint you dropped
04/22/10 - A gay occasion
04/21/10 - Maybe that isn't a plasma center
04/21/10 - I'm sure it is a very important cause
04/20/10 - Militia's Intent
04/20/10 - How to be a loser, gracefully
04/19/10 - Lancing With the Stars? American Midol?
04/18/10 - No fumar
04/17/10 - That's just how we roll
04/16/10 - I get those confused too
04/16/10 - Who answers the call for justice?
04/15/10 - Memories
04/14/10 - Sub-ject
04/14/10 - "So's your mom" works, too.
04/13/10 - New Original Flavor
04/12/10 - Too much information?
04/12/10 - Pun Control
04/12/10 - Gas mileage
04/12/10 - Disgracebook status
04/11/10 - Believe me alone
04/11/10 - Tumor humor
06/20/08 - Settling
01/26/08 - The honeymoon is over
11/04/07 - Another anti-joke
11/04/07 - The anti-joke
10/16/07 - An honest mistake
10/01/07 - For Mike B... and his boobs
10/01/07 - For Mike B... and his slacks
09/23/07 - Samaritanic
09/21/07 - Last Aid
09/21/07 - Dorkus Provicus!
09/20/07 - Hypothetically
08/08/07 - A meeting with my publisher
08/07/07 - Compliment-jitsu beats blame-fu
08/01/07 - The Poopsmith
07/31/07 - All things in moderation
07/31/07 - Subtlety receptors offline
07/21/07 - Spoiler
07/10/07 - Kids say the darndest things
07/03/07 - A meeting with my publisher
05/13/07 - Watch this!
05/12/07 - Crime Scene Unseen
04/19/07 - A meeting with Human Resources
04/16/07 - Goals
04/12/07 - Coincidence? I think the Tralfamadorans know better.
12/03/06 - Ensign Timmy flips out
12/03/06 - I enjoy being a girl
12/26/05 - Her cheating heart
11/28/05 - Ode to an ass
09/22/05 - Knockers II
09/22/05 - Knockers
06/30/05 - Hell is other people
06/25/05 - Happy Anniversary!
01/24/04 - Foolproof
01/24/04 - Sweets for the sweet...
01/24/04 - Stop me if you've heard this two...
01/23/04 - Stop me if you've heard this one...
01/20/04 - Knock Knock! Who's There? Recycling Duck!
01/15/04 - Brrrrroadband
01/15/04 - Head Hostess
01/08/04 - FTC #17 - The Great Salsa Riot
01/08/04 - Instrumental
01/08/04 - Serenade
01/06/04 - Lesson
06/15/03 - GenCon 2003!!
01/20/03 - Yes, I know that "troll" is supposed to be a verb.
12/30/02 - VH1 Behind the Music: Cutting room floor episode 41
11/24/02 - Poor Maxis Tester Boy
11/24/02 - ROFLMAO!
11/24/02 - Typical conversation on the Maxis Beta Test Boards
11/06/02 - It's a tough job...
11/06/02 - Remembering Bongo
11/06/02 - Appreciation
11/06/02 - Stripper's block
11/04/02 - Hammer.exe
11/04/02 - Festoons!
11/01/02 - Breaking up is hard to do
11/01/02 - Muscle for hire
10/07/02 - Searching for awareness
09/24/02 - Hooray for the red, white, and blue balls!
09/21/02 - Loses something in the translation, no?
09/11/02 - Waiting for ObiJo.
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 16
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 15
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 14
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 13
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 12
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 11
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 10
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 9
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 8
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 7
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 6
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 5
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 4
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 3
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 2
09/07/02 - This is my life, part 1
09/03/02 - Yay for social reform! Hire an ex-con today!
07/25/02 - Stress
07/16/02 - The Dahmer Bris
01/14/02 - Early Futuristic TV Sitcoms
01/10/02 - Stripcreator U
01/04/02 - fiche-ing for compliments
01/03/02 - It's funny 'cause it's true.
12/13/01 - The same old grind?
12/12/01 - The Riddle Of The Spanx - Part One
12/08/01 - Quotables: The Series, Episode X - Nietzsche
12/08/01 - Quotables: The Series, Episode IX - Casey Stengel
12/07/01 - Quotables: The Series, Episode VIII - Abraham Lincoln
12/07/01 - Quotables: The Series, Episode VII - David Garnett
12/07/01 - Quotables: The Series, Episode VI - Martial
12/07/01 - Quotables: The Series, Episode V - Benito Mussolini
12/07/01 - Quotables: The Series, Episode IV - Steven Wright
12/07/01 - Quotables: The Series, Episode III - Mae West
12/07/01 - Quotables: The Series, Episode II - Hedy Lamarr
12/07/01 - Quotables: The Series, Episode I - Eleanor Roosevelt
12/04/01 - Cowboy Psychics
12/04/01 - Alien Physics
12/04/01 - You always hurt the ones you love.
12/03/01 - Truth is sadder than fiction - The End
12/03/01 - Truth is sadder than fiction - Part V
12/03/01 - Truth is sadder than fiction - Part IV
12/03/01 - Truth is sadder than fiction - Part III
12/03/01 - Truth is sadder than fiction - Part II
12/03/01 - Truth is sadder than fiction - Part I
12/01/01 - Claus and Effect
11/28/01 - Is there a doctor in the house?
11/27/01 - Golden Birthday
11/13/01 - Well, Duh!
10/28/01 - another groovy mystery solved!
10/23/01 - Halloweenies
10/22/01 - Untitled
10/09/01 - Toothgnip's Believe It or Bite Me! - The Netgeek Edition
10/02/01 - Persistence of Memory in the Absence of Cash
10/01/01 - Data Entry
09/24/01 - purity, part 2.
09/24/01 - purity
09/21/01 - Best friends can say *almost* anything
09/18/01 - Serial Comic ]|[ - What's my motivation?
09/15/01 - Comic Cup IV - Stripper Spankling's School
09/15/01 - Untitled
09/15/01 - War of the avatars!
09/15/01 - Hooray!
09/11/01 - Salvaging from the rubble
09/08/01 - Mime School
09/07/01 - No, baby, no!
09/06/01 - Donkey sodomy - it's a living.
09/06/01 - Donkey sodomy, part III
09/06/01 - Donkey sodomy, part II
09/06/01 - Donkey sodomy, part I
09/06/01 - No, wirthling, this one's not about donkey sodomy.
08/17/01 - with apologies to max cannon
07/19/01 - Go west, young lady!
06/18/01 - Taking the ****
06/02/01 - CC #33 Part II
06/02/01 - CC #33 Part I
05/30/01 - CDT stands for Central Daylight Time!
05/21/01 - CC #31 - Captain Monosyllabic to the rescue!
05/19/01 - selfish twit
05/16/01 - coyote-evading speeds
05/16/01 - CC30: Love is...
05/15/01 - whack
05/14/01 - no justice
05/14/01 - the IRS blows goats.
05/12/01 - more thoughts on Douglas Adams
05/12/01 - in poor taste
05/12/01 - R.I.P. Douglas Adams.
05/09/01 - there's always someone stronger.
05/09/01 - is this some kind of joke?
05/09/01 - it's not easy being grey.
05/09/01 - complex and simple.
05/09/01 - and it's still funny!
05/09/01 - double your pleasure.
05/09/01 - all that will be left
05/09/01 - guilty pleasures
05/09/01 - complexities
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