Hey Mike, it's me, Internet Sports Pages. Get all the latest information on trades and stats. Plus you can check on how your fantasy football team is doing.
No time Internet Sports Pages. I've got a report to finish.
What about me, Mike? Internet Nerd Forums. Surely you have enough time to hop on me for a minute and argue with people over trivial issues.
Nope, can't. You'll just distract me and get me into a meaningless arguement with people I've never met before.
Even me, Mike? No time for me?
I...well I've always got a few minutes for you, Internet Porn Girls.
