It was supposed to be called "Dwarf on Golf" but I forgot. Oop.

FTC #2 by mmyers 10-09-03

Hey wanna hear a joke I heard? Alright. Why did the dwarf cross the road? Hmmn... Because he needed to take a SHORT cut. Hahaha! Yes, of course. A joke about my lack of stature. Most amusing.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

FTC #2 by Tom_D666 10-09-03

Hey, wanna hear a joke I heard? Alright Why did the dwarf cross the road? Hmmn... It was comedic genius! Because he wanted to get to the 2nd hand shop! You see, dwarfs are poor, and have only one hand! It works on both levels! How insulting.

FTC #2: Hmmn by lukket 10-09-03

Hey, wanna hear a joke I heard? Alright Why did the dwarf cross the road? Hmmn... Speak up!? He met my niece!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

They come in all sizes by pita 10-09-03

Hey, wanna hear a joke I heard? Alright Why did the dwarf cross the road? Hmmn... Oh, and I forgot to tell you, he was a fortuneteller who had just escaped from jail. So... to be politically correct, he was a small medium at large.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

FTC #2 : PC by niteowl 10-09-03

Hey, wanna hear a joke I heard? Alright Why did the dwarf cross the road? Hmmn... Hey, we prefer to be called "little people", not "dwarves"...you insensitive fuck.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

A-ha! kaufman is pita!

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

I think that this technically doesn't qualify, but you're gonna let me enter it anyway, right? *puppy-dog eyes*

FTC2, See you in Court by fzh 10-09-03

Hey, wanna hear a joke I heard? Alright Why did the dwarf cross the road? Hmmn... Excuse me sir, but the Little People Society of America has requested you appear in court to defend yourself against allegations of telling jokes that discriminate against people of smaller stature. Uh oh!

Geez, I'd love to have a crack at this, but you guys are all too good!

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"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

Comedy is in the eye of the beholder... try it anyway!

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

FTC #2 by mmyers 10-10-03

Hey, wanna hear a joke I heard? Alright. Why did the dwarf cross the road? Hmmn... To go to the hotel and use the MINI-BAR. Get it? MINI-bar! Whoot! *rubs tear from eye* Nice one. I got one. Why did the clown say "Ohmygod, this dwarf is crazy and is plunging a knife into my gut! Dear God the Pain!"? This is a good one. I'll give you a sec to think on it.

And thochaos, I have a lot of faith in your ability to make me laugh...so do it!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Menage a huit? by kaufman 10-10-03

Hey, wanna hear a joke I heard? Alright Why did the dwarf cross the road? Hmmn... It's like that old Dwarven proverb: The snow is always whiter on the other side.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

FTC 2: Ugh. by KungChiFu 10-10-03

Hey, wanna hear a joke I heard? Alright Why did the dwarf cross the road? Hmmn... No! To keep his pants up! Wait. No. Let me start again... Suicidal impulse.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Now, the awards!

Funniest Comic to Nerds

jes_lawson for 180834

Most Sexual

ObiJo for 180961

Most Ironic

Kaufman for 181009

Bonus Award

flickguy for figuring out it was a punisher action figure.

Best Pun

Pita for 181309

Most Creative

Kaufman for 181583

Funniest Politcally incorrect

ObiJo for 180820

Most Obscure

Umfumdis for 181017

Best Title

Kaufman for 181009

Most.. uhh.. similar?

Umfumdisi(first to enter this)
181034
Mmyers(second to enter this joke)
181297

Best Use of lack of Rules

Jes_Lawson for 180834

Silver Award of Excellence

niteowl for 180931

Psychic Award

Nobody got this, I would have accepted anything to do with the california recall election.

FTC #2: Kaddar by KaddarComps 10-10-03

Hey, wanna hear a joke I heard? Alright. Why did the dwarf cross the road? Hmmn... To vote for Gary Coleman in the California recall election! Too bad his votes came up short.

And finally, the award that judges the funny factor...
Zinger Award

Pita for 181309

Man I love these FTC comps, mainly because I'm winning something but also they're really fun...and you get real awards!

Thanks, Kaddar.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

I think the awards I received are the good kind of award. At least, I *hope* they are...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

I think the awards I received are the good kind of award. At least, I *hope* they are...

Thanks kaddar.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Mental Note: Enter The next FTC... =D

Wow! Thanks! *blush*blush*blush*
:D What do I do now?

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

I gave awards for my CC, but I didn't give out cool illustrations of the awards--shoot.

I guess I'm a Nerd, cause I thought jes would win. pita cracked me up as well. "Small medium at large?" Shut up!

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

I couldn't resist.

Follow - up by pita 10-10-03

I just came from an appointment with Edgar Cayce... good things are coming my way. Edgar Cayce? He's a medium, you've seen him on television, haven't you? Oh yeah, I know who he is now... Although I'd have to say he's no medium, he's more like an extra, extra large.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

For those who didn't get it by the way, the blurred image was a punisher action figure,

And it is used in the "best pun" award image. Ha ha ha. That was the revalence to the awards...