I am in tears, you bastard.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

it was what the facial expression was drawn for

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

Aha, fresh victims...

New people are to be laughed at. by NeoVid 7-24-01

At last, I've found you, evildoer! If you're looking for an evildoer, try DexX or Brad/Johnny. Look, kid, I'm just trying to get in character here... anyway, It's curtains for you, criminal scum! ...Puns. Even the writers here don't sink that low. Who are you anyway? I am... CAPTAIN LOWPASS! Well. Too bad you're on Stripcreator now, isn't it?

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

And here's the Captain, introducing himself...

The trials and tribulations of Captain Lowpass by NeoVid 7-24-01

Don't worry Senator Lipservice, I'm here to stop all evil and bad humor! You need a permit for that. Hello, Dr Pedantic, I am Captain Lowpass- Then perhaps you should have arrived here when the Stripcreator was still called Lowpass, shouldn't you? I am Captain Lowpass- I'll make sure they spell it right in your obituary!

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Sicko checks out the lay of the land by Spankling 7-24-01

You've been around here a while. What's it like, animal to animal? The usual... sodomy, rape, semi-witty banter and a healthy dose of typos. Sweet! I should introduce you to wirthling. I bet you two hit it off. Excellent choice of words. Speaking of hitting it off, why don't you show me your stuff. At least now I can run away!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

This sorta happened to me once by Spankling 7-24-01

Excuse me sir, could you tell me if my stocking are on straight? Oh me.... Just let me get a good look... Oh yessss.... JUMPIN JIZBALLS! YOU GOTTA TAIL! Thanks for noticing porky. How 'bout you and me rent a room with a video camera? WHAT?!?! BUT YOU'RE A FREAKIN'.... A... a freak... Sure. Why not? I thought as much. Follow me baldy. Say... you got anything in that bra besides hairballs?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

So did the bald guy pay for the room or did you?

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Fashion Show by Spankling 7-24-01

So what do you think already? It looks better on Mommy.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

So did the bald guy pay for the room or did you?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Lil' Crabby by BigEvilDan 7-24-01

Mr. Randall, what are you doing here? Well Crabby, as your guidance counsellor, I thought I should try and figure out what the hell is wrong with you. Can I speak with your mother? MOM!! THERE'S A MAN AT THE DOOR WHO WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!! This is a nice looking place. I'm sure the problem isn't here, but where could it be? I've got a donkey and a red robot coming over in five minutes, so lets make this quick. Actually, I think I've got everything I need to know, thanks.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

I wrote this before I saw Spankling's so its not a total rip-off, I swear.. really. on your dirty underwear...

A New Rivalry Begins by NastyPope 7-24-01

Knock Knock Who is there ? Manrape. Manrape?!?!?!.... but... but... but Tobor is one who does cornholing. Not any more. There is a new sodomizer in town & yer as good as recycled.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

The Hammer Lane #0 by crabby 7-25-01

Baby I love you your the only one for me. You know the only thing keeping me from you is this damn splitter. I've heard this before you always use that damn splitter as an excuse. Alright thats it I'm getting rid of it now. I hope your ready for daddy. Bring it on skinny. I want some of your hot man sausage!

The Hammer Lane #1 by crabby 7-25-01

That was amazing. That was tender and rough, it was like makeing love to a beautiful sex statue. I'm pregnant! Oh boy, I was just in it for the loving not for the long haul. I gotta think of a way outta this. Your gonna be a Daddy! What if it's not my kid. I don't know who else you've been sleeping with. Well it was either you or one of the four other people I've been with recently.

The Hammer Lane #2 by crabby 7-25-01

Well baby the rest of the guys are here. I feel like a pice of meat in your twisted game of love. Well it couldn't be me I'm Captain Impotence. It couldn't have been me everyone knows Wilfred Brimley hasn't been able to get it up in years. I hope it's me I've been looking for a nice gal to settle down with and start a family. Yeah thats the ticket, he's the father.

The Hammer Lane #3 by crabby 7-25-01

Well your not the father so you can get the hell out of here now. Oh what a tangled web you weave. I feel like a piece of meat in your twisted game. Well baby it looks like everythings gonna be all right. Yeah I've got a great job as a real estate agent and we can all move into my house today. Wow your perfect. I'm also a strictly religious member of the Monkees fan club.

A Sticky Situation by Spankling 7-25-01

I feel silly having epoxied my hand to my hair. When will this goop you smeared on it get me unstuck? Any second now... Oops... a bit too much kerosene. Is it hot in here or is it just me? Oh it is YOU baby!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

By the way, has anyone else noticed that Jael's thumb appears to be seriously dislocated?

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Thumb? Thumb? OH! Yeah.... It's on the wrong side.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

*sob*

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Don't Drink and Draw by BigEvilDan 7-26-01

I'm glad you could stop by on such short notice, DexX. So what seems to be the problem? Well, you seem to have drawn my thumb in the wrong place. Oh, sorry about that Jael. Heh, I must have been out of it when I drew you. Um...I'm not Jael. I'm Gabe. Well, that's the last time I go drinking with Skagg before I draw...

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

ba-doom-cha

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Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

I must have been looking at my right hand when I drew it.... how very odd.

Well, tough - I can't be stuffed fixing it right now. Jael will have to stay as the weird-hand woman for the foreseeable future.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

If that was me I'd be too busy playing with my breasts to post anything.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.