Pie in the Resolutionary Sky by smamurai 12-29-03

I am giving up procrastinating. You said that last year. I am going to continue blackening the lungs of the weak minded. He says I'm taking up smoking. I don't think I have a problem with that. This year I am going teach the men of my country that women cannot resist the sexual allure of our national dress. Them Qatar turbans won't penetrate ladies-thongs by themselves.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

CC 226: addiction by areallystupidguy 12-29-03

this year i resolve to not hammer a nail into my head. It's an addiciton.

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It's grime time.

Uninspired Filler Material. by smamurai 12-29-03

New years Resoloutions .... ...... I am going to get laid. Sounds like, I'm gettin' paid. ..... ........ ....... I'm gettin' whacked or made. I'll probably get spayed. ...... ........ ...... ....... I will hunt and terminate Randy Quaid I'm just gonna piss people off left, right and centre.

Oh how I long for the day when I can delete comix.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Viva la Resolution by Zaster 12-28-03

Jenny, I'm about to make you the happiest woman alive! How would you like to accompany me to dinner after work today? Sorry. I made a New Year's resolution not to go out with guys from work. So much for being more honest this year.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

A series! Whee. Not great, but other people I've shown it to have chuckled at parts.

Give Into the Geek Side 1 - Resistance is... by Xuanwu 12-27-03

December 31st. We're live in Times Square! This year I resolve to stop spending so much money on toys, movies, and other stuff. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors! I need to grow up. I can't waste money on frivolous items like graphic novels. Coming in January: the 23 DVD set of all six Star Wars movies! Complete with an all nude spread of Natalie Portman! Curse you, fandom.

Give Into the Geek Side 2 - Trappings of Fandom by Xuanwu 12-28-03

For a limited time only: life size fully articulated Rei Ayanami figurines! Have a clone of your own! Long thought lost to time, the mysterious fourth book to the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy has been found! And it's available in a leather cover decorated with 24k gold leafing! Now you, too, can own the underwear Harrison Ford soiled during a tricky stunt on Indiana Jones! All right...you had me up until that last one. Buggery! Suck it, Popeil!

Give Into the Geek Side 3 - The Hate is Selling by Xuanwu 12-28-03

December 31st, 11:59:55 PM 5...4...3...2...1...Happy New Year! Yay? And now a word from our sponsors: The temptation continues... Can I interest you in a model used on the set of Space 1999? Get thee behind me, you peddler of profligacy!

Give Into the Geek Side 4 - 80's Nostalgia by Xuanwu 12-29-03

Very well. If you will not buy my normal wares, I will have to unleash my greatest asset! La la la! I'm not listening! A complete set of all Generation 1 Transformers! Including rare variants of Megatron and Optimus Prime! IRONHIDE! Must...resist... SOUNDWAVE! Must... STARSCREAM! turn...TV... WHEELJACK! ...off. MUAH-HA-HA-HA! So much for that resolution. Let's roll 'em out!

Give Into the Geek Side Epilogue by Xuanwu 12-29-03

The Resolution... ...And that's why my bedroom is filled with Transformers toys. Wow. I'm impressed how you resisted the earlier temptations. It wasn't easy. I still have dreams about that Portman nude spread. Though they usually end with my jizz turret firing prematurely... How did you afford the toys, though? I thought you were broke. I sold the TV. Huh? But wasn't your TV one of those all-in-one computer systems? The one with all your porn? Sucks to be you, dude.

P.o.P XXXIV - Why New Years' Resolutions suck... by Stillbored 12-29-03

December 31st...11:59:55 PM Hmmm...my new years' resolution...is that I'm giving up Stripcreator, it's wasting to much of my time! 5...4...3...2...1...Happy New Year! Seconds later I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

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.:For I am come in the niiiiiiiiiight:.

CC 226: Next year I promise not to use the default joke... by lukket 12-30-03

Our new year's resolution is ... to only participate in meaningful comics 5.. 4.. 3... 2... 1! Happy new year! Right on! Sucky sucky .. fie dolla? Sis!!

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Punch Sucker Proxy. by smamurai 12-30-03

So Andy, have you got any resolutions for next year? I'm going cold-turkey on the wife-beating. So all those times that Flo fell down the stairs or walked into a door..... Yep, that was me. I could never bring myself to lay a hand on my own wife. How about I do it for ya? You can do mine, that way we both win.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Doomed Stripcreator Resolutions by codehappykid 12-30-03

I will longer generate gravitons as they contribute to the heat-death of the Universe. What the fuck are you talking about? I will longer suck. wirthling sucks TOBOR WILL NO LONGER CORNHOLE N00BZ. HAHAAAHAHAH FGT FKR!!!!11!!!1

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HALPUU!

follow-up commentary:

I was going to delete it and redo it, but then I realized it's funnier with the mistakes.

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HALPUU!

An Oldie But A Goodie by niteowl 12-30-03

So do you have a New Year's resolution in mind yet? Yep. I'm gonna lose weight. Hopefully about 260 lbs. I see... So you're gonna finally divorce that no-good piece of shit you call a husband, huh? You got it.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

CC 226: :| by laughinginyourface 1-01-04

.... Still nothing...

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

My resolution this year is to make shorter posts when judging contests. So while I'd like to give honourable mentions to kaufman, attitudechicka, smamurai and Zaster, I'm going to have to give the victory to ObiJo for this comic:

Resolute Shun by ObiJo 12-27-03

This year I've decided to make no resolutions. But wait a minute... isn't that a resolution? If I adopt it, isn't that still making a resolution? But if I don't adopt it, doesn't that mean I must make resolutions? If I act, there's a resolution! If I DON'T act, there's a resolution! HOLY CHRIST! Is free will a myth?? So let me get this straight. You killed the hobo to prove you have free will? No, I ATE the hobo to prove I have free will. I killed him so he wouldn't slide off the fork.

Happy New Contest, everyone.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

:O

Congratulations, ObiJo, on winning two holiday Stripcreator contests!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

ObiJo has both the contests running at his hands? I don't believe.

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

That has to be one of the signs of the apocalypse!

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This is not my empire.

Foolish mortals! You have fallen right into my trap! I shall now shut down the comic contest, thereby ensuring I will have won the very first comic contest, and the very last comic contest! My humor will pour over the land like a scourge and the blood of the virgin will flow from the nose of the virgin as I whomp the face of the virgin with the girth of a cod!

I'm selling tickets for that last part if anyone wants good seats.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Whoo hoo! Honorable Mention! I shall put it in my pocket.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Whoo hoo! Honorable Mention! Anyone want it?

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.