I haven't laughed this hard at a stripcreator comic in a longass time.

That kicked ass. Several kinds of ass.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Continuing in my attempts to select unconventional "machines" to talk to in these comics...

CC 57: Jet Lag by kaufman 8-27-01

Investigators arrived quickly at the scene of the Flight 22 crash. What a hideous crash! At least that new black box with its smart circuitry will explain what happened. Aha, there it is, intact on the desert floor. Tell me, black box, why did your flight go down? Are you kidding? Look at me. I weigh 12 tons, and am aerodynamically terrible. The plane couldn't get enough lift!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

quote:

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HAHAHAHA!

There's the old ObiJo we know and love!

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I don't know -- the idea of an angry telephone saying "Ring MOTHERFUCKER Ring" and then acting like a jealous girlfriend (I especially liked how the phone turns its back on the guy) was enough to make me shoot milk out my nose. And I wasn't even drinking milk at the time!

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

I can see where one would confuse donkey semen with milk.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

GABE-BOT by crabby 8-28-01

Tobor I'm sorry but I'm going to have to disable you. You don't strike fear in the hearts of people anymore. RAAARRRR!!!!!!! TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU! Yes, yes very good. Let me go get your replacement. RAAAAARRRR!!!!!!! RAAAARRRRR!!!!!! GABE-BOT JERK YOU OFF!!!!!!!! Damn.

CC-LVII: It's so hard to be good... by DexX 8-28-01

Okay, this assignment is due tomorrow. I have to work. No distractions- GAH! PLAAAAAY MEEEEEE!!! Must... get... away... I have to work on this thing or I am in deep- ARGH! WAAAATCH MEEEEEE!!! CAAALL YOOOUR PAAAAARENTS!!! Yeah, right! Okay, one more cone, then I get started it's assignment time... Yep, last one for sure...

I really mangled that punchline... I really must edit more carefully when I reword dialogue... For those who care, it was meant to be, "Yeah, right! Okay, one more cone, then it's assignment time... Yep, last one for sure..."

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

CC 57: Ruddy Glue by Deisel 8-28-01

RING RING Pick me up Diablo! No! I just know it's Mom! I really think you should RING RING Nope, anyway I've glued myself to the floor to avoid temptation! Ok then! I'm not in leave a message after the tone...beeep! "Hi you've just won a holiday in Hawwai with all of Bill Gates money! If there is no answer in 5 seconds you won't wiiin!............OK Bye" NO NO NO NOOOOO! Aw shit.

I don't know what is the point in sending another 'cos I won't win but I thought it had a certain something.

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"You don't scare me with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior."-Monty Python

WOW! Gabe-Bot is the scarier than Gabe! (and thats saying something!)
;-)

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"You don't scare me with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior."-Monty Python

Eh heh heh heh... man, I love puns (thereby proving all the suspicions about me).

Observe...

Zippy the punhead by NeoVid 8-28-01

What the hell? We were supposed to be invading a country, and this is all they put in our way? Something like this isn't about to stop- AIIIGGHHH!! Another one defeated by the world's first antipersonnel mime!

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Anyway, my entry.

CC 57: Evil smartass technology by NeoVid 8-28-01

Must... get... outdoors... Aw, come on. You know you have more stuff to work on online. Yeah... but I don't have enough time online to get everything done anymore. That's why you need to dedicate every second to your writing! You know it's true... Five minutes later. Yeah! I beat another Ninja! My ranking should go way up! I'll consume your soul.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Do you talk this way, too? Or does the moron in you only surface when you type?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

David Cronenberg's The Fly, alternate ending. by NastyPope 8-28-01

*BZZZZ* this is it *BZZZZ* my last chance to regain my *BZZZZ* humanity. Computer *BZZZZ* initialize voice command interface. Voice command interface initialized. Telepods set to active standby. Recombinant DNA resequencing pattern loaded. Seth Brundellfly enters the telepod, his hopes residing in the same technology that tore his humanity from him. Computer, start teleportation sequence Brundellfly Gamma!!!! Initiating teleportation sequence Brundellfly Gamma. Good luck Seth. My God, I think it worked, I feel almost normal....oh no, I have fur, and big feet, what have I done?!?!!?!? Look at it this way, Doc, instead of eating other peoples feces, you'll be happy with your own.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

By the way, wirthling, your comic is the first stripcreator comic (besides one of my own) ever to grace the wall of my cubicle. Many people at work laughed at it.

I still chuckle at it.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

waiting for rachel by apejuice 8-29-01

RING RING . . . RING RING . . . oh my god that'll be rachel. please let it be rachel. ok, act cool. don't answer yet. give it two more rings, RING RI . . . sorry tyler. just kidding. you bastard! heh heh 'oooh i really hope rachel calls me tonight. i'm like sooo in luuurve'. shut up!

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I LIVE!

Nice one, apejuice! :)

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Gabe, I've been alienating myself. I am leaving for a couple of weeks to...well...loosen up! When I come back to the forums I shall change my sig. But should I get rid of my toilet-seat licking bit?

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"You don't scare me with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior."-Monty Python

Quiz Shoo by kaufman 8-29-01

Oh, another quiz show. Those contestants are always so stupid, I know I could do so much better than them ... Which empire at its peak covered the largest amount of earth's surface? Ooh, that's easy: THE TOILET SEAT EMPIRE! THE TOILET SEAT EMPIRE!!!!! The toilet seat empire? What an utterly asinine answer. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Thats nice Kaufman.

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"You don't scare me with your silly knees bent running about advancing behavior."-Monty Python

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

OK, folks -- it's time to judge this puppy. I truely wish I could choose you all and take you all home with me and love you and hug you and call you "George". Unfortunately, only one of you can receive this coveted honor. But first...

Honorable mention to Kaufman (for multiple quality entries). I'd also like to acknowledge apejuice (keep 'em coming, please), Spankling and his powerful love-rocket, and a surprising entry by Crabby.

But the winner is Wirthling, for "You've Got Cancer". This one works at least passingly well on one level, and then brilliantly on another. It messes with my mind, and I love it!

So come here, you! Now get out of here! You've got a contest to run.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

Bah, just missed it. Not that this one makes any sense, of course.

CC57 - Eliza, Mistress of the Dark by andydougan 8-29-01

Eliza, cyberpsychiatrist Does talking about this bother you? Er, no, why would it bother me? I just said that I need a haircut. This quiff keeps attracting funny looks. Do you feel strongly that er, no, why would it bother me? I just said that I need a haircut. This quiff is getting ridiculous. Hell with it. This isn't solving anything. I mean that in the existential sense, of course.

LOL Andy. A subtle but worthy entry!

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

Some sucky rules for CC 58 will be posted shortly...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

I decided not to overload this contest and post this one -- didn't think it quite made the grade (which means that according to the WTFTACITOCCTW, this one probably would have won). Still, I think I'll subject any of you still here to it now. After all, I memorized that 5-digit number for just this contingency.

Handyman by kaufman 8-28-01

Hello, I am your new A-316 Voice-Activated Bionic Hand. To use me, just say "Right hand", followed by your instructions. Great! Let's go for a walk and try you out. Right hand, yank on that cute chick's hair. Hey, I thought my new artificial hand was a lemon. Maybe my voice can work yours! Speaking of which, want to trade garage door openers?

hatever he uck hat cronym ited n he ther omic ontest hread as

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com