Um. I was already having nightmares from the Japanese-monster-movie-sized spiders I've seen in my apartment lately, but that comic is somehow worse.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

No offense meant - I am no stalker. Just looking for chuckles.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

In true submissive form, you apologized for it.

I may have been out of the scene for a while, but I still draw the subbies. ;)

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

You god damned perverts are ruining the forums. Let's get back to our wholesome program of bestiality and mechanized manrape.

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What others say about boorite!

Yeah, I like subs.

I'll have mine with hot beef, fried onions, cheese, lettuce, and ranch dressing please.

Oh, and a choc chip biscuit and a Coke, thanks.

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quote:

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Oh, and a choc chip biscuit and a Coke, thanks.

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It's like a chocolate chip cookie, but you pretend you aren't American while you eat it. :)

My wife makes these chocolate chunk biscuits that I reckon God must have copied to stick in jars up in Heaven. They are rock cakes, but instead of sultanas or raisins, she substitues whole squares of Cadbury milk chocolate. They are really rich - I can only eat two or three before my stomach says "Very nice, but stop now, please" - and they are heavenly. We'll cook some up if any of you come over for a visit.

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My figure will be ruined.

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What others say about boorite!

Dang, now I have to book a flight to Oz....

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This is not my empire.

There are these things that a local doughnut shop makes that we call "godly doughnuts". Okay, start with a standard doughnut (no hole), put chocolate glaze, and drip on some maple over it. Now, inject it with chocolate and brown sugar. What you now have is something that even *I* can't eat, it's so inedible. It made me sick when I tried finishing one. I'll stick with eclairs from now on. That much sugar made even me disgusted.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

I don't think that pastries can legitimately proceed from religious precepts.

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What others say about boorite!

quote:

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Yeah, I like subs.

I'll have mine with hot beef...

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RAARRRR!!!!!!!!!! STOP DEFILING THE CHURCH OF ARSE THREAD!!!!!!! RAARRRR!!!!!!!

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RAAARRR!!!

Church of Arse: Wipe the Arse! by NeoVid 9-18-01

Hmmm... The Church of Arse needs something we can consider unholy... Yeah... but what should this church use to represent heresy? I've got an idea! Tousers! What? Yknow, trousers without the arse in them! Excuse me, I've got to go retch because of that pun...

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Shouldn't that be "touses"?

Arse = R's ?

Ah, never mind...

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What are "tossers" without the "arse" in them?

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What others say about boorite!

Church of Arse recruitment tactics by evil_d 9-19-01

Bad news, DexX. Conversion to the Church of Arse has dropped off sharply. It seems that some people just can't be arsed. That kind of defeatist attitude has no place at the Church of Arse, Dan. We just need to come up with a few good lures. Well, we could form a hierarchy. People would start out as Arse Virgins and work their way up to being Arse Masters! That's... a good idea, but let's put it on the back burner for now. Okay... how about Arse Monks? First we train them in the martial arse, then after years of study they'll learn to control others' arses mentally! I'm growing delirious just from thinking about that kind of power.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Legend of Stunken Master by gabe_billings 9-19-01

I read in the paper that you're starting Arse Monk training soon. Is it too late to sign up? Have you had any previous training in the martial arts? I've seen all of Jackie Chan's movies. Oh, and I can break a stack of cinder blocks with my head. That doesn't have any sort of adverse effects? I read in the paper that you're starting Arse Monk training soon. Is it too late to sign up? Yes.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

TOBOR RECRUITS AN ARMY by crabby 9-19-01

RAAAAR!!!!!!!! TOBOR NEEDS REENFORCEMENTS FOR HIS CORNHOLING WAR!!!!!!! I'm prepared to be part of your army. Smell my finger! Dang TOBOR! You just need to chill out man and the cosmos will take care of the cornholing for you bro. I'VE PERFECTED MY BODILESS CORNHOLING TECHNIQUE AND I'M PREPARED TO FIGHT THE CORNHOLING WAR!!!! I'm with you TOBOR. RAAAAR!!!! I HAVE THE POWER OF THE PUSSY!!!!!

Crabster, wrong thread. *growl* Church of Arse only in here. Guards! Seize that man and administer twenty lashes... on his arse! Then, um... give him some ice cream or something...

Church of Arse: When doorknocking, be polite, but insistent. by DexX 9-20-01

*bing bong* Okay, James, remember - polite, but insistent. Polite, but insistent... Hello? Join the Church of Arse, or I will kill you right now. What was that!?!? Oh! Silly me! Sorry, I always do that! Join the Church of Arse _please_. ...or I will kill you right now. ...uh, thanks.

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Church of Arse: Dan goes visiting. by DexX 9-20-01

Come on in and sit down, young fella. I'll get you a cup of tea... How do you take it? What? I don't take it! I administer it! ...oh, sorry... little bit of milk and one sugar, please. *ahem* So, you're here about that new Church of Arse that's started up, eh? What's it all about, then? What's it all about? Arse, of course. I thought that much was obvious. Here's your tea. Yes, I understand it is about Arse, but then what? Obtaining arse? Penetrating arse? Observing arse? Oh, just Arse in general, really. Oooh, teddy bear biscuits!

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Church of Arse: On the Air by DexX 9-20-01

Good evening listeners, and welcome to Theologically Thpeaking, a radio show devoted to matters of religion. Joining us tonight, our regular panelists, Monsignor Francis O'Herne and Rabbi Herschel Silvermann... Peace be wid you, my son. Oy! This is the best character they could find, he's telling me... ...and our special guest panelists tonight are the co-founders of the Church of Arse - Big Evil Dan and DexX. May the Arse be with you. Wherever one or more is gathered, there's an Arse.

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Church of Arse: On the Air, part 2 by DexX 9-20-01

Welcome back, listeners, to Theologically Thpeaking, a radio show dedicated to chatting about all that God stuff... Mr. Wendy Spacklehead of Pluto asks, "Dear Panelists, with all the bad stuff that goes on, do you think God is a bit of a bastard?" No, not at all. You know why? Bunnies. Bunnies are nice. See? I disagree. He _has_ to be a bastard, or we will just, you know... DexX, Dan, your views on the topic? Uh... DexX? Dan? ...I can't believe you think the guy on the left has a better arse! I mean, look at him! Hey, you know I appreciate the bony ones. You don't have to make me feel like a freak about it, you prick...

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Church of Arse: On the Air, part three by DexX 9-20-01

Okay... Monsignor O'Herne and Rabbi SIlvermann seem to have fled in fear, so... uh... Tell me, what ideals is the Church of Arse based on? I'm glad you asked, Nancy. You see, we believe that in the beginning, before the Earth was formed, there was first of all the Great Arse. Yes, the Great Arse. Some of our detractors claim that they have studied our ancient texts, and the Great Arse is Steve Guttenberg... Oh, come on, Dan. I was drunk. I made a joke about Steve Guttenberg being the Great Arse. Just stop going on about it! *sniff* How can I just forget it? You know how much I liked the first two Police Academy films...

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Church of Arse: On the Air, part four by DexX 9-20-01

Welcome back once again, viewers, to that God thingy on the radio. We seem to have lost Big Evil Dan... so, DexX... I'm sure everyone wants to know... why so many Church of Arse strips today? You_speak_like_I_have some hidden agenda or something, Nancy. Look, I want to spread the Arse word... Uh-huh... and the real reason? To... uh... Okay, to get strip 34567. Looooser!

*sigh*

I am a colossal geek.

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