CC 292: An Aristocrat By Any Other Name... by BigEvilDan 8-13-05

Interesting act, Mr. Tobor. What do you call it? TOBOR AND HIS PATHETIC FLESH FAMILY ARE CALLED "THE ARISTOCRATS". Interesting act, Mr. Bush. What do you call it? I call it "Operation Family Values". Interesting act, Mr. Jackson. What do you call it? I call it a productive morning. Eee-hee-hee!

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC 292: Kings of Caffeine by Drexle 8-13-05

So what do you think? Let me get this straight. You plan to charge insane amounts of money for average coffee... Invent a pretentious naming convention for your product, and have a storefront on every city block on the planet? Just what is your act called? The Baristacrats. Can I have a double cumshot latte?

CC 292: Auditions 1 by Drexle 8-14-05

And we were all in the agent's office, my father with his cock in my ass, me with my face shoved into my mother's twat... and we'd all just eaten pad thai made from the family dog. I was shitting and puking puppy pieces all over daddy's cock and mommy's pussy. Wow. You asian hookers really go all out. We're not hookers! We're The Aristocrats! Whatever... I'll give you five dollars if you do that for the whole office on our next trip to Thailand.

CC 292: Bedtime Story by BigEvilDan 8-14-05

...and then, whilst fucking the dog on the ball, the cowboys plug the generator into the giant robot, which then penetrates both underage asian prostitutes. That's quite the act. What do you call yourselves? We're called "The Aristocrats". Do you really think we have a shot? Are you kidding? You'd have to be retarded or insane to find that the least bit entertaining. And that, young lady, is the story of how Stripcreator was born.

Zing! Take that, Stripcreator use-- oh, right.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC 292: at the funeral by mandingo 8-15-05

i can't believe Kratz is dead. he was the finest man i've ever known. a poor German immigrant, he pulled himself up by the bootstraps, emassing millions from shoving people up his ass remember that time he shoved the president up his ass? the vice president said, 'keep him there. i'm president now!' jokingly of course. but Kratz plopped him back out, giving his signature handshake oh my! that young lady just shoved Kratz's dead body up her ass! look at that form! it's perfect! and there she goes, plopping him back into the coffin! perfect! young lady! you honor Kratz today! who are you?? i'm the heiress to Kratz!

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what if nigger meant kite

Ye Olde 14th Century Humour

Gather the army quickly, sire. The peasants are revolting! Don't be silly, good sir knight. Those aren't the peasants; they're the Aristocrats!

by kaufman, 8-15-05

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Bravo!

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Dad was flammable

CC 292: Collared Groans by kaufman 8-15-05

Whoa, look at these fantastic neckties. How'd you like to go to work wearing such a depiction of debauchery? Bestiality, pedophilia, group sex, coprophagy, and all so subtly done. Amazing. And check out these certificates of authenticity. This one was used in a bondage scene involving Richard Gere ... And this one was used for a lynching in Georgia. Hang on, let me ask a salesperson... Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that new line of ties you have over there. What do you call them? The Aristocravats.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 292: The High-Tone Boys by biped 8-15-05

I lahk to burn crosses, terrorize furriners, and lynch darkies. Why, that's fine, Zeke. Sounds like you'd fit raht inta our organization. The KKK? Nope. "The Aristocrats."

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

thank ye! (icon expression of goodwill)

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what if nigger meant kite

Hope this isn't too late.

CC 292: Life on the Set #13- The Aristocrats by IHMAWTD 8-15-05

Know any good jokes? ...but not all the way in. His son grabs the other end and starts ramming it in and out. Finally the daughter does a summersault and they all yell "TA-DA! We're the Aristocrats" Ok dude, jokes involve the words "knock, knock" or "whadayagetwhenya" not "lubed up whiffle bats" or "shit-piss cocktail."

Since I haven't judged yet, you're not too late, n00b. :)

Psychic Award:
umfumdisi (i knew someone would do the Republicrats -- too bad CHUBBY wasn't here)

Bridesmaids:
Drexle for your first one
kaufman for his several entries
BigEvilDan for Kings of Caffeine especially

Here comes the Bride:
mandingo -- your first entry was great, but you win for out-kaufmanning kaufman himself with "at the funeral." CC 293 is all yours...

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

I LOVE THE WORLD!

sorry, adrenaline rush

thanks, grandad umfum. i'll post a new one as soon as i think one up. as always, whoever blows me the most automatically wins, so get out that chapstick

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what if nigger meant kite

But Umfum, Kings of Caffeine wasn't Dan's. ;)

You're just jealous that you didn't not think of it first.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Damn bridesmaids--always bitchin' about somethin'.

Sorry, keep the names but reverse the descriptions. I think that's what I meant. %)

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

i can only host this for a week, but thats enough time to scar you for life (4 Meg .wmv)

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what if nigger meant kite

It's also here.

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Dad was flammable

ah, thanks. i took it down off mine

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what if nigger meant kite