CC 140: Stripqueeze by A_Chicka 8-29-02

You win. Win? Win what? Me for a night. That's the third time I've heard that pickup line. Well anyone who can turn a karoke performance into a striptease deserves to win SOMETHING. I see your point, but wouldn't I be better off with a cucumber?

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Skeeter Valentine = hot.

CC 140: CC 140 by kaufman 8-29-02

Congratulations! You won the comic contest. I WON? Really? Yes, Maura. And this is what you win: The hassle of thinking up new rules, a ban on making comics for the next contest, and the scorn of those people who you don't pick to win the next one. Uh, what if I resign my title? Surely, the first runner up could do all that. Sorry, All the runners-up and honorable mentions have left town. And before you ask about Mr. Congeniality ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Ain't That Horse Dead Yet? by Namgubed 8-29-02

I won? What contest did I win? STRIPCREATOR'S TIGHTEST ANUS COMPETITION!!! There's really no need to continue this strip, is there? NO, I GUESS NOT.

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

Your Momma's butt is so tight even moses couldn't part it.

#3

CC 140 Entry #3: Who is the Real Winner Here? by punkrockskaboy 8-29-02

Guess what Maura! They just announced the winner! You are officially the most pessimistic in town! WOW! I didn't think I would win! Well, of course you didn't I mean... FORGET that! What did I win? This economy size glass of Coke. Sorry, I drank half of it. Very funny you son of a bitch.

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Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little

If You've Got a Dead Horse, I've Got a Whip by Namgubed 8-29-02

... and winner for Outstanding Essay on Automobile Safety: Maura! Hooray! You win a free trip to Washington DC, where your idea will be presented in the houses of Congress! Wow! And you also win a date with Senator Ted Kennedy!! Let's talk about anti-drowning safety features! GAAH!!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

cc140: Miss Claustrophobic-Brutal-Anal-Sex-Princess 2002 by ObiJo 8-29-02

Excuse me, but aren't you Miss Claustrophobic-Brutal-Anal-Sex-Princess 2002? What! No! I mean, I *am* claustrophobic, but I wasn't given an award. And I don't even like anal sex! How sad for you. Into the trunk.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

CC140 - The Real One! Entry 1: Grand Prize Giveaway by Shadow_Artist 8-29-02

Congratulations Maura! You've won 'Grand Prize Giveaway'! You can either have $50,000, or the Mystery Prize. Mystery Prize! Mystery Prize! The Mystery Prize this week is a pink donkey! Cluck. Donkey's don't say cluck... Tune in next week for another exciting episode of 'Grand Prize Giveaway'!

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Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. - Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 - 1972)

I still haven't stopped laughing at ObiJo's Miss Claustrophobic Brutal Anal Sex Pricess 2002 comic.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

now, now. i certainly have more respect for the venerable institution of CC than to try to undermine it in that way. as far as you know. (:

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"I don't know who you are, schmucko, but you rule." - lara7 | christ@myself.com

That gets my chuckles too.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

hmm... the other time i won, i wound up picking finalists according to which strips made me laugh out loud. so far, there are a lot of finalists for this contest. y'uns keep it up!

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"I don't know who you are, schmucko, but you rule." - lara7 | christ@myself.com

CC 140: She must be 21 by now by Spankling 8-29-02

I won? Yes miss! This is your lucky day! Yep. BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE KNOWN AS THE ONLY SOBER WOMAN THAT LOOKS LIKE A BUSH TWIN!!! Just sign here and the case of Mad Dog 20/20 is yours. Of course I'll need to keep... I mean SEE your driver’s license.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

CC 140; Like Rain On Your Wedding Day by bonwag 8-29-02

I won a humility medal, but they took it off me because I wore it. Now, I've won an award for irony. I think they're screwing with my head. We want our damned trophy back

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exit, pursued by a bear

As this oldie-but-goodie shows, Maura was winning bronze before it was even fashionable!

The Olympic Synchronized Swimming Results by kaufman 5-15-01

BRONZE MEDALISTS: France SILVER MEDALISTS: Spain GOLD MEDALISTS: R'lyeh

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC140: Babes In 'Arm's Way by bonwag 8-29-02

Congratulations! You're 'Luscious Babe Of The Year'! I don't remember entering a beauty contest Oh, it's not a beauty contest My robot comrades have eaten everyone else. We're saving you for Thanksgiving.

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exit, pursued by a bear

CC140: Hot Enough To Boil A Monkey's Bum. by bonwag 8-29-02

After many years of tribulation, you have finally defeated me in a game of skill. Here is your mortal soul, returned in accordance with the agreement laid down in ages past. You have been a loyal companion. Together, we have ushered in a new age of suffering and misery. I will miss our conversations and our times together. I may never find another to take your place. ... and he totally forgot to ask for his keys back. Check it out. sweet

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exit, pursued by a bear

CC140 – The Real One! Entry 2: Maura the Merciful by Shadow_Artist 8-30-02

The winner of this year’s Mercy Killings Award goes to Maura, for her pro-euthanasia essay ‘Mercy = Free Beds’ Oh goody! What’s my prize? You get to perform euthanasia at a hospital of your choice! Euthanasia, hey… At a hospital of Maura’s choice… But I don’t have a terminal illness! I’m only here to have my tonsils out! Shhh. It’s okay. The suffering will soon be over…

CC140 – The Real One! Entry 3: Maura Becomes Attractive by Shadow_Artist 8-30-02

Congratulations Maura! You’ve won this years ‘Guess the Perfume’ competition! Oh thank you, thank you! I’m so pleased! To celebrate your victory, we at ‘Modern Beauty’ will give you a free makeover, turning you into an irresistible boy-magnet! Yay! A day of hard cosmetic treatment later… And you’re sure men will find me attractive like this? Absolutely. They’ll be dying to spend money on you!

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Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. - Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 - 1972)

CC140 - The Real One! Entry 4: Phallic Addition by Shadow_Artist 8-30-02

One sunny day at a local school fair... We shall now be drawing the numbers for the raffle. The winner is number 266! I've got 266! I've won! Well done Maura! First prize is a free consultation with a cosmetic surgeon. Later that day... Yes, it is possible, but I don't understand why you'd want a penis hanging from your forehead...

CC140 – The Real One! Entry 5: Arsing About by Shadow_Artist 8-30-02

Doo de doo de doo... Doo de doo de doo... Doo de doo de doo... Maura, I know that by winning the spitting contest you’re entitled to stick your finger up my arse and treat me like a puppet, but can I please have SOME DIGNITY!

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Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. - Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 - 1972)

More horses to flog!

Skeeting on Thin Ice by kaufman 8-30-02

(BANG!!!) I did it! I won the skeet-shooting competion! Now where's the judge to give me my prize? He's over there. Well, most of him, anyway. The rest of him is over there.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

You're from western Pennsylvania, aren't you.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Imitate the Sow, Lad! by Namgubed 8-30-02

... and the Grand Prize of the custom-made guitar and banjo set goes to ... ... come on, say it! Me me me please please please ... ... Maura!! Congratulatons! Presenting this year's prize: to know 'em is to love 'em ... Cletus and Bubba! * APPLAUSE * Yes!! Now say hello to Nashville's very own Miss Purty Mouth 2002!! ♫ ding-a ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ... ♫ Uh-oh ...

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

central indiana, actually, by way of las vegas... but my family comes from a portion of illinois that is eerily close to arkansas.

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"I don't know who you are, schmucko, but you rule." - lara7 | christ@myself.com

cc140 | Habnem | Menbah | Hen BAM! by ObiJo 8-30-02

I just won 1st Place in Morse Code Shitting - featherweight division!! What can I say? "Where's the mop?"

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

CC 140 - MENBAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Kurashima 8-31-02

Okay , you win. Ill pay for dinner. And i concede that, yes , the burritos in here give you explosive diarrhoea.

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w00t