NEW PAGE!!!

CC 190: ULTIMATE DOOM by not_Scyess 6-01-03

COWER, MORTAL! For I will end the world with my powers of ULTIMATE DOOM! Hey, cool. Listen, I gotta go. Good luck with that doom thing. Dang... did I forget to say the "cower, mortal" part or what?

CC 190: ULTIMATE DOOOM by not_Scyess 6-02-03

COWER, MORTAL! For I will end the world with my powers of ULTIMATE DOOM! Haha! That's so cute. "cute"?! Hey, Lenny! Come here and look at this! It's because I'm a squirrel, isn't it? Oh, great, rodentia. I needed to come over and see this.

CC 190: ULTIMATE DOOOOM by not_Scyess 6-02-03

COWER, MORTAL! For I will end the world with my powers of ULTIMATE DOOM! Why can a squirrel talk? That's IT! I'm sick of your patronizing crap. The world ends NOW! GAH! 400 years later. Damn am I bored...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

CC190: Biblical Plauge of Cedrics by KungChiFu 6-02-03

Heaven. Just before lunchtime... You sure look happy, Father... what's up? I've just unleashed ultimate doom on the earth, Jesus. Why wasn't I consulted? You're too soft, boy. Everything is love and compassion with you. Earth needed a good kick in the ass, and buddy, I delivered it. So what did you do? I've sent a plague of Cedric the Entertainers... All Cedric, 24/7. Let's see them survive THAT!

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Because I can never get anything done in a single strip....

Penultimate Doom - part 1 by CrunchyCheese 6-02-03

Josh, what are you doing? You've been on that computer all day. I'm playing "Ultimate Doom Online" with Tavo and Brian You may want to log off. Seattle was just levelled, and I hear air raid sirens Mo-o-om Not now, I'm almost to level 17! huh, lookit that. Seven horsemen just rode by. Yes - I got the plasma grenades. These guys are toast!

Penultimate Doom - part 2 by CrunchyCheese 6-02-03

Josh, I'm not kidding. You need to log off and get in the shelter with your father and me. Just a minute We're not waiting on you young man. You either come with us now, or stay out here and get blown to bits Mom, I said in a minute! Fine, you're on your own. Hahaha I just got Tavo with a rocket launcher. He is so fuxored!

Penultimate Doom - part 3 by CrunchyCheese 6-02-03

::: Gotta go guys, my mom says the apocalypse is coming ::: ::: Fine. One more level, then I am outta here ::: ::: You guys are so hosed :::

Untitled by CrunchyCheese 6-02-03

::: Alright guys, I gotta go. Mom says the apocalypse is coming. L8r ::: Aw man, I lost my connection again

Untitled by CrunchyCheese 6-02-03

You mean you guys don't have ANY DSL or Cable connection down here? No, just pain, torment, and unimaginable suffering So I have to use dial-up to play "Ultimate Doom Online?" Dude that sucks. You don't get it, do you kid? Hey, where do you keep the Mountain Dew? Over here in the Barry Manilow Room. Follow me.

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

Hmmm. Plauge. What's a "plauge", daddy?

Sorry. Spelling is fuxored. Front, front.

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Your mickey mouse kung fu is no match for my superior fighting style.

Ooops, I screwed up on mine... just pretend that on the third panel the door is open... much like this one.

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Poop.

Infected Burns are a Bitch by Scyess 5-30-03

How did you ever get away from that crazy feel-no-pain berserker fighting dude? Well... Dammit, I've been holding my hand over this open flame for five minutes to show you how tough I am. Aren't you convinced yet? Almost. Maybe just a little longer. I guess that explains that pile of charred human remains in the backyard. What? I thought those were yours.

Boring is in the Yard of the Beholder by Scyess 5-30-03

So are you going to tell me about the pile of charred human remains in the backyard, or what? Haha! Boy, is that a long story. In this case, it might actually be worthwhile to take the time to tell it. Really? I don't want to bore you.

Ancient Art of BS by Scyess 6-02-03

It all started a few nights ago when the moon was full. The wind was blowing like the approach of the world's ultimate doom... ...what the hell are you talking about? I'm just, you know. Trying to set the mood. THERE ARE CHARRED HUMAN REMAINS IN MY BACKYARD! I THINK THE MOOD IS APPROPRIATELY SET! Geez. You have no appreciation for the ancient art of storytelling.

Back Yard Mysteries by Scyess 6-02-03

All right! No more narration, no more mood setting, no more "world's ultimate doom!" What the hell does "ultimate doom" mean, anyway? It just, you know. Sounds ominous and stuff. Just tell me why there are dead people in my friggin' back yard!!! Jim put them there. Oh. Don't give me that look. Any lack of denoumaunt is purely your fault.

Denoumaunt by Scyess 6-02-03

Hey, Jim! Why are you burying a bunch of burned, bloody sacks in Jon's back yard? They're full of burned corpses. This is all part of a dark rite to bring about the end of the world. Wow, really?! Haha! No, I'm just pulling your leg. They're just some jerks from an SUV that cut me off in traffic. Hahaha! Wow, I can't believe I can be so gullible sometimes. Yep. You know, if you hold the ones that are still sqirming you can save me some time.

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"Old" is the old new.

Wow. It's been a looooooong time since I've been around these parts, over a year. I see alot of the original regulars are MIA. But anyway, just had to come back and try my hand at a contest again.

CC 190: Choirboy Jimmy & The End Of The World by descolada99 6-03-03

Father! Father! It's the end of the world! The Devil is bringing ultimate doom! UN black helicopters and tanks and an army of Martha Stewart clones! Hellllllp!!!! Come my child, in this time of need we must stay calm and stay close to God. No matter what, staying close to God will send you to heaven. And the church is God on Earth. *urp* So as a priest of this church, come closer to God, my son, and all will be well. No, closer. Lower. I SAID LOWER, DAMNIT!

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

Only 24 hours left to enter. The winner will be decided about this time tomorrow.

I have seen alot of great work and am pleased with the comics. I think I laughed at almost all of them. Im also happy to see Descolada99 back. Where the hell were you anyway?

Well, see you all tomorrow. This one is gonna be close.

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

CC 190: DOOOOOOOOOOM! by BigEvilDan 6-03-03

...so we don't need a messiah now that we can manufacture our own. Be warned, if humanity turns away from me, it will experience it's ultimate doom. What a whiny bitch.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC 190-2 by dcomposed 6-03-03

CC 190-3 by dcomposed 6-03-03

...

CC 190-4 by dcomposed 6-03-03

... Thank god he's gone.

CC 190-5 by dcomposed 6-03-03

You're welcome. GOD TALKED! HOLY SHIT! Holy shit? That wasn't very nice. Now you have been smoten. KIDS DON'T SWEAR AND BE NICE TO THE FAMILY PET!

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Batman created by Bob Kane

CC 190: Cross Doubt by kaufman 6-04-03

Hey, mister, why are you nailed up there? 2000 years ago I said I'd cause the world to end, so some folks put me up here and protected the nails with Elder Signs so that I couldn't free myself and bring about the ultimate doom. Hey kid, If you help me down, I'll give you a piece of candy. Ok.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I was held captive at Camp X-Ray in Cuba. Not my first idea for an extended vacation, but the weather was great. The only bad part was when Cheney interrogated me personally and threatened me with re-runs of "Two Guys, A Girl, And A Pizza Place".

The horror.

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

This was the third or fourth comic I ever made.

Stranger things have happened by mmyers 2-04-03

Hey, you're Satan, aren't you?! Nope. I'm drinking a soda. Would satan drink a 7-Up? 7-Up? No I guess he wouldn't, would he? 7-Up...waitaminute...7-Up is.... 7-Up, the official soft drink of the Apocalypse The UN-COLA! HAHAHAHA! Noooooooooo!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Funny, but unfortunately not rules-compliant

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

Truly The Time of Tribulation Is Near by umfumdisi 6-04-03

Oprah, er, Queen of Talk, do you take Michael to be your lawfully wedded husband? I DO! Michael, uh, King of Pop, do you take Oprah to be your lawfully wedded wife? Hoo-Hoo, I DO! ...I now pronounce Ultimate Doom upon humanity. Mike, I can't wait to buy beautiful media outlets with you! I can't wait to buy you a new nose.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

I'm having some mental block against the rules of this contest for some reason.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Yea, you are. Well 3 more hours till anounce the winner...Im gonna go to the comic shop and play Magic The Gathering till then...Stop laughing...Bastards....

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

You play Magic, not Yu-Gi-Oh? HA!

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

I just wanted to prove that i could make a compliant comic.

CC190:Ultimate Doom by mmyers 6-04-03

Ladies and gentlemen. I would like to introduce you to the new NBC reality show, Ultimate Doom. How does it work? We destroy the world then give 6 contestants a chance to survive in it. Let's do it! Boy, that was a great freaking show. I watch it all the time. Well, you were our target demographic.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I would like to say again that you all did a great job. There are so many good comics in this contest, but now its time to take a look at the picks of the litter.

3.

CC 190: Choirboy Jimmy & The End Of The World by descolada99 6-03-03

Father! Father! It's the end of the world! The Devil is bringing ultimate doom! UN black helicopters and tanks and an army of Martha Stewart clones! Hellllllp!!!! Come my child, in this time of need we must stay calm and stay close to God. No matter what, staying close to God will send you to heaven. And the church is God on Earth. *urp* So as a priest of this church, come closer to God, my son, and all will be well. No, closer. Lower. I SAID LOWER, DAMNIT!

2.A tie!

Earning a Devil Raise by kaufman 6-01-03

I did it, boss. It's worse than Minnesota. Horrible lighting, a spongy carpet that bounces baseballs like superballs, hanging speakers all over the place, a roof that's baseball-white ... Acoustics like an echo chamber, magnificent mildew aroma ... Yes, Mr. Selig, I HAVE CREATED ULTIMATE DOME! IDIOT! Do I have a funny accent? I asked for the end of the world. ULTIMATE DOOM! We owners are bleeding money. We need Armageddon! Now bring about the Apocalypse! Sigh, I guess I need to make the Cubs win the World Series. That'll take some work. All right, I'll give you a 10% bonus.

And The Winner Is!!!

1.

An Exciting Announcement by kaufman 5-31-03

Distinguished delegates of the UN: I have good news for you. I have determined the mathematical function representing the probability of the end of the world. It is a smooth, regular cyclical curve, and we're nearing its low point right now. Rejoice! The ultimate doom is far off. Allow me to illustrate... I am unable to share in our previous speaker's optimism. What he presented today is indisputably a Sine of the Apocalypse!

Good Luck with 191 Kaufman, You had 2 brilliant comics. As for the rest of you. I thought you all did great. I hope you all enter the next competition, It would be interesting to see all you great creators there.

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

No dishonorable mention for entering a comic based on rules from the last contest? Curses!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I feel no shame losing to kaufman. That was PURE GENIUS.

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties