Only till 4 pm.

Who wants to play "Find the calamari?"

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

your mom.

What does Marsellus Wallace look like?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Like Mike Wallace, only more exotic.

Who n33dz0rz ph4t l3wtz?

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

No.

Ah. You like-a da juice?

Boorite finished it before I got there.

Does my forehead say "idiot" on it, or is it just my boss who sees that?

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Mediocrity at its most average.

I dont see anything there either, but it might be in some alien ink that only beasts from the planet Asswipe can see...

Do you think my boss and your boss might come from the same planet, and if so, can we ship them back in a crate?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

You need a permit to ship fertilizer out of state.

Ladies; you come here often?

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Only when you're not around.

Where do you think Yasser Arafat is right about now?

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

With any luck, in my ass.

Does anyone else miss my doggie?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Frequently, if that little bastard craps on my front porch one more time I'm using a machine gun instead of a catapult.

Who stole Camper Van Beethoven's gear?

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

The dad from "Full House".

Who gives a shit about Bob Saget?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Your Mom.

What was the point to Donnie Darko?

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

That my balls are awesome.

Who stole Scrooge McDuck's millions?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Scrooge's millions were whittled away and blown on fast hookers and cheap booze.

Forgot your password?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Yes.

What was my password?

I forgot.

Can I have your collection of vintage celebrity nipples when you die?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

I already sold them to Boinky in exchange for rights to Shape Factory.

How do you know when it's time to throw out old Christmas ornaments?

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Mediocrity at its most average.

When the apparition of Christmas past starts appearing in them and telling you to repent. And bring some potatoes.

Que?

Line up the facts in order of first come first serve, and all will be clear.

Can I have your spare keyrings?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Yes but, I use a tire rim like you get with a gas station restroom key so shipping's gonna be a bitch.

Can you pick them up here?

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

It depends on the gravitational constant on your planet.

Why don't you go outside and play with your friends?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Because my friends are in here. No one can see them or hear them, but I can. They tell me that its good to sit inside and play mind rotting videogames. They also tell me you're a bad person. I dont like bad people....

What do you think I like to do to bad people?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Make them untie Spankling.

Who wants to sex my body?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

My best guess is either George Michaels or Rod Stewart.

Whatever happened to saturday night?

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xx( o Y o. )xx

It went to the movies.

Why doesn't anyone send me letters?

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I think, therefore I make comments on a forum.