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Stripcreator » More Comic Competitions » The Foil Fumble!

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Message

kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

FF: It's a dirty Jabba; someone's got to do it! by kaufman
9-20-04
Here's one of the all-new scenes on the new Star Wars Trilogy DVD, some previously lost footage from "Return of the Jedi."
Controversy abounds over the Empire's proposal to broaden the definition of rape. Jedi Master Yoda, why do you think the law is ridiculous?
It sex not on bed as rape defines. Sex on couch? Rape. Sex on piano? Too rape. Sex on chandelier? Rape also. On table of coffee? Rape, rape, rape!
But mercenary pilot Han Solo supports the law. Mr. Solo, could you tell us what you were doing on the night of January 25th?
Why sure. I was Jabba the Hutt's coffee table.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

9-20-04 12:41pm (new)
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Fuj
If a quiz is quizical, then whats a test?

Member Rated:

FF 10: Thank the Force it wasn't Chewie. by jes_lawson
9-20-04
Luke! I...am your father!
That's not true...that's impossible! NOOOO!
OK Darth, I can now reveal the results of the paternity test... and you AIN'T the Jedi daddy!
What the F*CK Jerry?...Then...who?
21 years earlier...
Mmm-hmm-hmm hee-hee-hee! So Senator Amidala,teh unconsenshual sex you are likeing, yes?
Oh, Yoda! Maybe it's the metachlorians or your Jedi mind powers, but I'm finding your 900 year old grizzled green frame incredibly sexy right now...

---
"You grew up like brothers, and your teachers must have told you that North and South must not fight!

9-20-04 4:30pm (new)
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JESUSSANDWICH
is a wonderful person

Member Rated:

Yeah mine did suck. Pretty bad.

---
possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

9-20-04 10:12pm (new)
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Zegota
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

FF: BO! by Zegota
9-21-04
Hey you, interview me, I'm here to promote my new cd.
Wow people, to my great surprise I find amongst the crowd here at the start of the new Star Wars DVD sale a familiar non-Star Wars face.
Wars?
It's William Shatner, better know as the cunning Captain Kirk from the original Star Trek Series, well then captain Kirk, why don't you show us some of your wicked rhymes.
Sure, here goes. Yo Yo Yo, it's Dr. Shat, and you best beware of the Shat Attack cuz I'm coming in fast at warp speed, you best take heed, or call 911 and I'm far from done...
This isn't live is it? Please tell me we're not live.

---
And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

9-21-04 10:54am (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

I can't believe you said that. I would've said it was good and everyone else was just stupid for not liking it.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

9-21-04 1:50pm (new)
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MikeyG
Shoots the shit and often misses

Member Rated:

That's because you forgot to eat your Depakote muffin this morning.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

9-21-04 2:35pm (new)
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JESUSSANDWICH
is a wonderful person

Member Rated:

Yes thats cause I am not an asshole.

---
possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

9-21-04 5:13pm (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

9-21-04 7:33pm (new)
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Zegota
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

Does this burning sensation when I pee come from the fact that I think Mr. nivannick will remain a mystery to us for all eternity?

---
And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

9-24-04 10:57am (new)
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jes_lawson
I don't know what I'm doing either

Member Rated:

That, or he's scared...

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

9-24-04 3:23pm (new)
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Bazilla
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

That or, HE'S HERE TO MUTILATE YOU ALL. Or maybe not, that's for you guys to decide. But he's here, and he's DEADLY [smelling].

---
I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

9-25-04 10:56am (new)
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nivannick
Stripcreator Newbie

Member Rated:

Yoda, Jedi Masta in da house, man by nivannick
9-25-04
There was this time in Episode Two,
Yoda said "Powerful have you become, Dooku"
Yoda knew exactly what to do, he said, "The Dark Side, I sense in You"
Yoda dissaproves of this War of Clones
He'd rather be home having tea and Scones
But Yoda's brave and Yoda's great; "Around the survivors, a perimeter create!"
Heh, a squirrel

9-25-04 10:58am (new)
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Zegota
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

ello?

---
And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

10-04-04 10:34am (new)
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Zegota
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

ello?

---
And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

10-04-04 10:34am (new)
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Bazilla
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

Double-post all you like, nothing's going to happen until you decide to FUCKING VOTE!

---
I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

10-04-04 12:48pm (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

Did I vote?

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

10-04-04 1:57pm (new)
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Enderandrew
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

I'm digging the contest. Can I get in on the next one?

---
"Nihilism makes me smile."

10-04-04 5:19pm (new)
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Bazilla
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

biped, no, you didn't vote, and you never will with this attitude.

Other guy, please die, I rhymed, and that's no lie.

---
I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

10-05-04 1:31pm (new)
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Bazilla
Comic Overlord

Member Rated:

nivannick and jes attack biped from the start, he looks helpless for three days until Kaufman and Zegota jump on the mysteriously boring nivannick in an attempt to save biped. Both guys are on the ropes, but biped kicks jes in the googahs and runs up to nivannick and clotheslines him out, almost eliminating himself. Now let's fucking hope this tournament can take some real shape with the 14th entry out of the 16, and it's...

maddog00

He's a lucky man to be entered so near the end, let's see if he can take advantage. Who's going to be the 10th person to leave the ring?

[b][u]Round Twelve

jes_lawson vs. biped vs. kaufman vs. Zegota vs. maddog00[/u]

The Rules

1.[/b] There must be three references to Futurama in the comic. - from nivannick

2. Entries must be entered to avoid disqualification [preferbly make them as quick as possible]. Or a very good reason must be presented.
3. Once all entries are in, the five competitors will vote for the WORST entry, they don't need to be prompted by me to begin voting.
4. Votes must be in the form of a Private Message to Bazilla - to limit tactical voting.
5. Person with most votes, leaves. In the case of tied votes, all remain.
6. No Crying.

Now get going, cunts! If you can get your comics and votes in by Wednesday, it'd be swell.

---
I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

10-10-04 3:04am (new)
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Zegota
Stripcreator Regular

Member Rated:

FF: Comic in by Wednesday by Zegota
10-11-04
Hello children, It's storytime with Cthulhu again. Now most of you now me as Cthulhu, the biggest evil of them all. What little of you now is that I'm also the grandfather of Zoidberg.
KILL ALL HUMANS!
.... oh, not this again. ZAP!
AAAAH!
Just cut to the commercials, and somebody get me a Slurm will ya!

---
And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

10-11-04 10:32am (new)
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biped
Mr. Wonderful

Member Rated:

FF -- Xmas Story by biped
10-11-04
Whoa -- a messy one. What's the scoop, Chief?
Coal shoved down throat, switches shoved up ass. Looks like Santa's been on a bender.
Coulda been Santa. Or maybe, just maybe -- an evil Santa robot.
Well, whoever it was, he'll fry for this.
Santa, the cops are looking for you. Hope you have an alibi.
I sure do! I was fucking a little -- oh, shit.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

10-11-04 11:16am (new)
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jes_lawson
I don't know what I'm doing either

Member Rated:

FF 11: On the way to the Blermsball game. by jes_lawson
10-11-04
Going a bit fast there buddy and...say? What's that...eurgh...that...smell? You been on an all day Bender or...eurgh!
Sorry sir, yeah I...uh, kinda got the smell of...
Jesus Christ, you ain't kidding! What in the hell have you been drinkin'?
Uhh...Soylent Cola, sir.
Never heard of it. Say, what does that taste like?
It varies from person to person. Oh my! Yes!

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

10-11-04 12:07pm (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

FF: All in a Day's Work by kaufman
10-11-04
The guy who killed Robert Kennedy wans to see me? He must have gone on quite a Bender! I'm just a small-time marsupial farmer.
I know, but that's what he said, miss. We think you'd better get down here.
I can sense the balance of the universe. And I know you've been thinking of terminating the pregnancies of some of your animals. Don't do it, or it's Doomsville for all of us.
Like, the universe will implode, or something?
Exactly, and one more thing. To ensure that the proper timeline unfolds, you and your family must NEVER watch a Matt Groening cartoon that takes place around the year 3000. Understand?
Ok, Sirhan Sirhan. Whatever wallabies will be. Futurama's not ours to see ...

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

10-11-04 12:08pm (new)
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Enderandrew
Member - Tobor Fan Club

Member Rated:

Kaufman is brilliant as per usual.

---
"Nihilism makes me smile."

10-11-04 5:02pm (new)
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maddog00
Pink Donkey Wrangler

Member Rated:

FF: Maybe I should've forfeited. by maddog00
10-12-04
What the hell kind of name is Bender anyway?
Bite my shiny metal ass. Its better than walking around and being known as Fry. You're a walking McDonald's ad.
Hey, I think we should stop with the name calling. Truce?
Why not. Anyway, I've got someone better to pick on.
Now, Zoidberg. Now that's a name to make fun of.
Oooh.

10-12-04 12:11pm (new)
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