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fuzzyman
Alpha Geek

Member Rated:

For those who haven't seen them before, here is what was left of my old Chrysler Cirrus after I totaled it.

I broadsided a Ford F-150 pickup.


Hanging out of the front edge of that rear window was a claw hammer. In my back seat were a couple of rolls of nails for a nail gun. When I hit the truck it pivoted, whacked mine in the side, and all this stuff came flying out of the back.

Everyone walked away uninjured. I got a little scratch on my forehead from the airbag.

The truck driver settled with my insurance company for his repairs and $1000. He was driving with a suspended license and his passenger was an illegal alien who didn't want to be identified.

I am lucky.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

11-29-05 3:05am (new)
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Chi_The_Cynic
Comoedus Cynicalis

Member Rated:

I know this thread has pretty much died off now, but for those of you who asked about the safety performance of a Smart car, I thought you might like to see this video - it's quite good.

12-27-05 3:44am (new)
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UnknownEric
and the Goblet of Mountain Dew.

Member Rated:

My life is officially over. I'm 30, weeks away from becoming a dad, and I just bought a goddamned stationwagon/SUV type thing.

I now drive a Subaru Forester. Royal Blue Pearl. I'm so lame.

---
I has a flavor!

12-27-05 9:37am (new)
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kaufman
Director of Cats

Member Rated:

You didn't tell us it was quintuplets! Congratulations!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

12-27-05 10:31am (new)
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choadwarrior
Crash Magnet

Member Rated:

I wonder why they went through the trouble of destroying a Smart car but didn't think about putting a crash test dummy inside of it. Yeah, the cage looks rather intact, but without a dummy, we'll never know if the seats withstood the force of the impact and kept the body in place, or if it would have ejected out of the top when that panel burst, did the legs get crushed, etc.

That said, I miss Top Gear...I wish they'd bring it back here. Our car shows are just 30 minutes of advertisements peppered with minor criticisms about the location of the cup holders.

Oh, and for UnknownEric...

[Click to view comic: 'Tanks']

12-27-05 11:05am (new)
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matclarke
herpes laden mug

Member Rated:

Top gear is always on my cable here in New Mexico. I like the show and watch it all the time. I forget what channel. Speedvision?

---
obscenity filter is off

12-27-05 12:21pm (new)
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Chi_The_Cynic
Comoedus Cynicalis

Member Rated:

I quite agree - although, when the guy opened the car door, the two seats were clearly visible and appeared to be intact (they hadn't shot out of the top of the car, at least). That said, crash test dummies would've been a nice thought.

12-27-05 12:32pm (new)
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mandingo
weak stream

Member Rated:

crash test dummies are expensive. i'd hire indigents

---
what if nigger meant kite

12-27-05 12:44pm (new)
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BigFrank105
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

The glass alround the car shattered really badly as it would in any accident. I'm sure those crash test dummies would be riddled with shards of broken glass. And since the entire front of the car that housed the engine was gone, I'd imagine that the driver's or passenger's legs would be crushed.

But all in all, I'm surprised it stood up to a crash that well. Bravo, Daimler-Chrysler.

12-27-05 1:44pm (new)
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Chi_The_Cynic
Comoedus Cynicalis

Member Rated:

Not wishing to split hairs, but the engine in a Smart car is at the back, not the front. I don't know whether that has any bearing on crushed legs or not, but it's a piece of invaluable trivia for you, I'm sure...

12-27-05 1:49pm (new)
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matclarke
herpes laden mug

Member Rated:

i'd like to import one. Whats was the cost of your unit if I might ask?

---
obscenity filter is off

12-27-05 2:15pm (new)
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Chi_The_Cynic
Comoedus Cynicalis

Member Rated:

Well, mine cost me £5,000 ($8,666) but I bought it in the UK and our prices for everything are notoriously expensive. If you're serious about importing one, I'd suggest buying it from either Germany or France. Alternatively you might be able to import one from Canada, as I recall little_kitty saying she'd seen them over there.

12-27-05 3:15pm (new)
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BigFrank105
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

I had no idea the engine was in the back. Nevertheless, that front compartment is gone so the persons legs are probably crushed or hurt somehow.

What kind of engine is in those things, Chi? In terms of valves, cylinders, discplacement, etc.

12-27-05 4:22pm (new)
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bunnerabb
Some bloke.

Member Rated:

I spun a '68 Cadillac Eldorado into a center dvider at 60 in the rain, once and it barely dented the fender.

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

12-27-05 4:42pm (new)
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choadwarrior
Crash Magnet

Member Rated:

quote:

I quite agree - although, when the guy opened the car door, the two seats were clearly visible and appeared to be intact (they hadn't shot out of the top of the car, at least). That said, crash test dummies would've been a nice thought.

I observed a crash test at the GM Proving Grounds in 1994 when I worked for them--pretty fascinating. Part of my job with them was to do crash performance reports on current model year cars that customers had wrecked.

Seats behave a lot differently when there is a 190 pound person in them during a crash--they bend, twist, and sometimes break under the force. In a compartment of any size, but especially one that small where the chances of the body striking the interior are higher, any seat failure could range from traumatic to fatal.

Now that I've blathered on about what little I know or remember about car crashes, here is what I found about the Smart's official European crast test results--fairly good.

For the record, I drive the car that the US Insurance Institute for Highway Safety has rated highest in its class for front and side impact performance. Their standards are higher than the U.S. government's. IIHS doesn't rate the Smart since it isn't sold here yet.

12-27-05 6:09pm (new)
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finn34
King of Deadlines

Member Rated:

i drive a 94 Saturn SW1 (Station Wagon 1) with no back bumper cover, cracked headlights/taillights and a severely dented hood.

woo.

envy me.

---
Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

12-27-05 8:38pm (new)
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BigFrank105
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

12-27-05 10:04pm (new)
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hughesy_mate
Pink Donkey Wrangler

Member Rated:

---
A dog isn't just for Christmas or a birthday. In fact, a dog can be eaten all year 'round.

12-28-05 1:38am (new)
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bunnerabb
Some bloke.

Member Rated:

I'm blind! BLIND, Peg! Oh, GOD! Aghhhh. I can't see! The horror! Thge horror! Oh, God!

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

12-28-05 2:11am (new)
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theReverend
Sometimes back but not all the times.

Member Rated:

Why the hell would she bother bleaching her hair?

Or, well, having her hair bleached.

---
8===D

12-28-05 5:00am (new)
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hughesy_mate
Pink Donkey Wrangler

Member Rated:

That's not her hair. That's butter.

---
A dog isn't just for Christmas or a birthday. In fact, a dog can be eaten all year 'round.

12-28-05 6:45am (new)
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matclarke
herpes laden mug

Member Rated:

HOW THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOESED TO BE FUNNY? I HATE THAT SHIT

---
obscenity filter is off

12-28-05 9:37am (new)
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attitudechicka
is never bored.

Member Rated:

I'm only in possession of the taxi for another 4 1/2 hours. I'm sorry jes, kajun, but they wouldn't let me keep the seats you both sat on and still offer fair trade in value. At least I have the memories.

Here is my new car:

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

3-22-06 1:04pm (new)
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attitudechicka
is never bored.

Member Rated:

Whoops. Okay it's like that, only with 4 doors.

---
Mediocrity at its most average.

3-22-06 1:05pm (new)
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BigFrank105
Obsessive Comic Disorder

Member Rated:

I was about to say. Chicka in a Cobalt SS would be freakin HOT!

Anyhoo, hopefully I'll be getting one of these bad boys in the summer. I-4, manual transmission.

3-22-06 2:04pm (new)
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