... a priest, a horse wrangler and a teletubbie that walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, what's in that flask?", and the teletubbie responds "That's no flask, that's a magic lamp; here allow me to show you", but his hands weren't good for rubbing lamps, which just goes to show you, you can lead a Good Samaritan down the path of excess, but you can't hear a tree fall in the woods when...

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

...a hooker runs up to you, revealing herself as your mother, making you put a 9mm to your head...

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*chews on jes's sig* *** jools changed topic to "AND LIKED IT!"

...and say "I'm looking for a Hugh G Rection..."

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

...who, incidentally, borrowed my Flowbee™, and got all sorts of DiDiSeven™-ish goop all over it, so I called Ron Popiel® and said, "Hey, you and Chef Tony© need to come over here with come OrangeClean™ and the Shiwalla Wash™, and..."

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

...then he pulled out a Ginsu Knife and screamed "STABBITY STABBITY STABBITY!" while thrusting it in the general direction of a pocketfish...

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AFROMANS MOVE

...which was a distant relative of the babelfish, which was a distant relative of Baba Ghanouj, which is a distant relative of Baba Yaga, who is a distant relative of Barbra Walters (Baba Wawa), who is a lesbian, but still a distant relative of Bill Withers, who is a second-cousin-thrice-removed of Alicia Keys...

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

...and also half mammal, half...

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

... a cup of whipping cream, that you gently fold into the mixture while ...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

...putting 1 cup of molassess in the oven, then throw the cat in the oven for 1 hour, and then stir nonstop for days until the...

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

....son of man returned to earth battling the anti-christ one last time until he realized it was wednesday and it was spaghetti night at home, which was his favorite, so he told satan hed need a rain check because his tummy was empty and reffered him to....

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xx( o Y o. )xx

...the overlord of all things sewer, which we know by the alias...

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

...adolf olivernipples, who outsmarted the devil by going to georgia, giving regards to the song, written by space aliens known as......

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xx( o Y o. )xx

...the Alkaras from the depths of the planet...

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

... of the...

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

...

...and then the earth exploded...but it was just the dream of a hooker...

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It's not the crack, it's the 'caine.

...who looks like this: ...

...and who made sweet, sticky, gut-wrenching buttlove to NGrassi22, and then spewed a dumptruck's payload of drippy, acidic jizz all over his porcine little mug...

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

...which caused his coffee to taste bad next morning...

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AFROMANS MOVE

...which was a surprise considering he woke up next to Juan Valdez that same morning...

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

..and then, somehow, some one murdered him, a person who as high on PCP that day, so that man went to jail, but stayed in a solitary cell which was never vistited by anyone, but someone did visit him, and told him that a man had murdered his mother, who had been dead for that past five years, which made the murderer wonder how someone murdered his mother, but then the man left the cell, apologizing for mistaking that murderer for another...

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It's not the crack, it's the 'caine.

...prison inmate who had really bad teeth and an unsightly scar on his inner thigh, but we all know that the story about the scar is apocryphal, considering...

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

...that that dude was dead in the first place, indicating that....

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xx( o Y o. )xx

...The scar was quite possibly not real, considering it somehow appeared posthumously, possibly in conjunction with the floating purple half-leprechauns, who danced a drunken Irish jig in the midst of the Cell Block A/Cell Block D intermural 'red-light, green-light' championship...

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

...And then admitted the way they got the name "leperchauns" is quite a long story...

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...