Aw, I'm sorry to hear that. Are they unable to travel?

Soo, THIS is why people need to invent transporters.

ivytheplantMy Grandfather has some health issues that would be a hassle for him if he traveled anywhere, and my grandmother worries herself sick anytime she leaves home; if she came and my grandfather didn't, it would only make things worse.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I just got pulled over right in front of our house. It's a good thing the cop completely ignored the guy who made a left on a red light at one of the most dangerous intersections in town to catch a dangerous lawbreaker like myself. Apparently my brake light was out.

HCRoyallMy Grandfather has some health issues that would be a hassle for him if he traveled anywhere, and my grandmother worries herself sick anytime she leaves home

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i think your grandmother's not coming cause she's pissed off you always capitalize Grandfather but not grandmother.

but seriously, sorry d00d. maybe you can send them a video of the ceremony if you're taping it. probably mean a lot to them. twi and i are starting to resign ourselves to the fact that no on will be coming to our wedding. her family lives in florida and mine in arizona, and we can't figure out a way to financially swing it so that everyone can be there. we were thinking of doing a ceremony for ourselves and then a reception out here with my fam and then flying out there to florida and doing one with hers, but she thinks her parental units would want to be at the ceremony. so we've stopped thinking about it and are just going the common law route for now. apparently, if you live together in arizona and consider yourself married, you are. we do so we are. you can deposit all wedding gifts through the gloryhole on 18th and Wabash

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what if nigger meant kite

another idea we were considering was flying ivy and her pew out to do the ceremony and gabe and his dozer out for the reception

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what if nigger meant kite

mandingo

I hope this fits.

Fortunately, I'm still alive.

 

=D

ivytheplant

I hope this fits.

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i hope urine doesn't stain carpet

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what if nigger meant kite

mandingo

Well, I am a certified ULC minister and Wiccan High Priestess. I tried to become authorized to marry Klingons to broaden my skills, but I kept laughing at all the nerds and they kicked me out.

Laramie's finest can rest easy now. I replaced the bulb in my brake light. Another criminal is off the streets.

You know what's great on moving day? A fucking blizzard.

I have seen Spiderman 3. And I saw that it is good. Even though Eric Foreman as Venom was a little weird.

 

In unrelated news, I bought a Spiderman cardboard standup last night. I bought Boba Fett First, but another guy at the shop had wanted it real bad, so I sold it to him and used the money to buy Spidey.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

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      Author Topic:   How to solve any problem!
      CLYDE CRASHCUP
      unregistered  posted 06-01-2002 01:13 PM              

      Try getting buttfucked by a wolf! The essence of anally-inserted wolf dick
      will solve the problem by making you think only of wolf dicks!
      unsolicited testimony
      unregistered  posted 06-01-2002 01:18 PM              

      I was worried about the situation in the Middle East, but now I can think
      only of wolf dicks! Thanks for the advice!
      BLAFF
      unregistered  posted 06-01-2002 01:21 PM              

      My wife looks like a wolf dick. So I don't need anything to remind me of
      wolf dicks.
      Wolf Dicks? No Thanks!
      unregistered  posted 06-01-2002 01:28 PM              

      What if your problem happens to be wolf dicks? How will thinking about
      wolf dicks solve your wolf dick problem?
      .
      unregistered  posted 06-01-2002 01:35 PM              

      What if you happen to be Dick Wolf, producer and creator of "Law and
      Order"?
      Muppet Dick
      unregistered  posted 06-01-2002 01:40 PM              

      What if it's a female wolf with a strap-on dildo? Will wolf strap-on dildos help you forget your problems as well as regular wolf dicks?
      Pierced Rectum
      unregistered  posted 06-01-2002 01:50 PM              

      What if you're a wolf and your problem is chronic impotence? Won't
      thinking about wolf dicks remind you that you have a problem with your
      wolf dick?
      All times are ET (US)next newest topic | next oldest topic

 

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I think my son is one of the Knights Who Say Ni. He kept saying "Ni" to me at the breakfast table. Oh, what kind of world is it when wandering ruffians can say "Ni" at will to their fathers?

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I has a flavor!

Now you must chop down the largest tree in the forest with.........

 

 

 

a Pop Tart!

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I just wrote a "funny" "article" about Paris Hilton in case anyone would like to read it.

 

Also--why in the hell would I want to create my own Zwinky avatar?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Because paper dolls are so 1949.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Dan Savage writes a column that appears in our local free paper, and I wanted to see if I could find some archives of his stuff, so I typed "Dan Savage" into Google, and got an interesting reply that I'd never seen before. Unfortunately I didn't think to get a screenshot so I'm not sure of the exact wording, but it was basically a Google-created page saying that it looked like my search request had been sent by an anti-virus program.

It had one of those randomly generated hard-to-read chunks of text that had to be typed into a text box before it would allow me to do any more searches. I thought it was a little odd.

Has anyone ever seen anything like that before?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

the scroll function on my scroll wheel broke last night so i'm having to do that thing where you push down on the scroll wheel and then move your cursor up or down and the webpage zooms with it. i don't want to zoom. i want to scroll.

i was gonna hire a robot from robotgram.com to punch the Labtec ceo in the nuts, but i kept zooming past the field where i was supposed to enter my credit card information

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what if nigger meant kite

I just got myself a Dremel 400XPR. I've been dying to try out some of the new attachments, like the planer and multi-saw, but they don't fit my old model. The one I just bought has the planer included, along with a tool sharpener (I expect boorite will run off with it a lot), flesh shaft (hot), and cutting guide, as well as an assload of bits and accessories. I didn't realize it came with an engraver too, so now I have three dremel tools.

I'm still anxiously waiting for the day I get the router and drill press station. Okay, we do have an actual drill press and router, but that doesn't make this any less cool.

Engrave "Tobor Cornhole You" on peoples' cars when they park in front of your house. You're moving soon anyway, right?

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Mediocrity at its most average.

I can engrave it on the trailer my neighbors permanently parked in front of our house. In 5 ft letters.

Currently my fiancee and I are having trouble finding a DJ (or at least some sound equipment to rent) for our reception. We've been trying to get things wrapped up, and this is evading us. Anyone know someone or something in the Hampton Roads are of Virginia that could help us?

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

No but I can work a google search pretty well and found these on the first try:

Affordable DJ's

(757) 460-4596

Astro Disc Jockeys (doesn't sound like a name I'd hire, but...)

(757) 460-2224

Magic Moments (I bet they dress up like Mickey and Minnie)

(757) 424-0808

K & R Entertainment

(757) 689-0509

Music Mill

(757) 474-1142

Premiereventsinc.com

757-340-2212

Puttin' on the Hits (Sweatin' to the Oldies?)

757-466-8943

Special Events Entertainment & Rentals

757-485-1212

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Mediocrity at its most average.