quote:

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Just another public service performed by Obijo. Along with Woodenbadger baiting and...

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Well if it's not done yet I'm going to finish my story.

Life of dcom {10} by dcomposed 9-13-02

Hello, my name is William D. Composed. No, it's not really, I just need to finish the series that I started. You see, when I wrote my life story I seem to have left some stuff out. actually all I included was me and my dad, not much of a life story is it? I've been kicked out of 3 schools in a span of 6 months. since then I havn't bothered going back. now I'm just another unemployed drug adict. [through the magic of comic editing, I can edit out the personal stuff] [through the magic of comic editing, I can edit out the personal stuff] [through the magic of comic editing, I can edit out the personal stuff] and then I found stripcreator.

Life of dcom {11} by dcomposed 9-13-02

Any member of the female gender is likely to be scared of me, I don't know why and so far my virginity stays intact. [through the magic of comic editing, I can edit out the personal stuff] I just want to rap. yep... uh... there's still two panels left. I wake up at about 11am every morning, go about my buisness (no, not masturbating) then sleep some more. you probably understand the concept. Last night ObiJo told me that my dad was a turd monkey. I never realised untill now. now I have to kill him and dump him in a ceptic tank. This has been dcomposed's life story. all true.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Late entry! With man love!

CC 141: OBIJO I LOVE YOU, PART ONE by akirajim 9-13-02

Whoa, I don't get this Beavis and Butthead comic book at all. What is sex, mommy? Uh, a man puts his penis in a woman's vagina. Your dad could probably explain it better. Whoa, I don't know who the hell you are! RAAARRH, I am the ghost of Friedich Nietschze. Jim, you are the Ubermensch! It is your destiny to destroy the world and remake it in our image! Whoa, your exposed crotch area causes me great sexual arousal! Quit talking to porno magazines, dipshit.

CC 141: OBIJO I LOVE YOU, PART TWO by akirajim 9-13-02

I have observed these pathetic children. I would blame their parents, not them, for their moronitude, if I myself had not risen above the ignorance of mine own parents. Hahaha, no poon for you, faggo. Now that I have graduated with honors, I will seize a large army of tanks. It will henceforth be known as my Big Tank Army. I will use it to conquer Seattle and Seattle will henceforth be known as... ...EVIL SEATTLE, BASE OF OPERATIONS OF THE NEW THOUGHT! Jim, you're a genius! And the Ubermensch! Heil Jim! Yay for me! Now ride my baloney pony, prepubescent Asian girl, I'm hungry for pedophiliac love!

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~But now you realize / He's not selling any alibis~

CC 141: OBIJO I STILL LOVE YOU, PART THREE by akirajim 9-13-02

Now that I'm done having sex with small children, I'll call a meeting of my loyal subjects! Drew Curtis, my simpering minion- bring the others!   k   It is time for us to launch a full scale invasion of the forty-eight states we have yet to conquer. Yes! All will fall before the Ubermensch! This job's a success! Now that I have conquered the world, I will change the history books and reshape human thought! Then shoot myself in the head and die nobly! Fin.

The end.

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~But now you realize / He's not selling any alibis~

say, how do you judge such a thing, anyway? you said the sole criterion was how much you learned about each stripper--well, now we've pretty much all told you everything, so is it a 30-way tie? you'd better just declare me the winner... i'll let you call me habby.

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"I don't know who you are, schmucko, but you rule." - lara7 | christ@myself.com

Therein lies the source of my pain! People say "Judge the contest already" or "Hurry up" or "Call me habby", but in reality I HAVE been judging the contest for 2 days! I'm going through comparing the detail of each person, and also creating a behemoth judging post. I figure since you all put so much effort into making nice detailed series, I can put some effort into making a nice long judging post. I still have some work left to do, though, so won't be posting it till tonight probably. Sorry. :(

Thank you all for not bitching too much, which I'm sure would come naturally. And thanks to ladyj for not ripping my still-beating heart from my chest with salad tongs, which I'm also sure would come naturally.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I was going to suggest throwing it open to votes, but as you have already done so much work on it, I'll keep it to myself.

oops

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I keep expecting him to show up and say something like, "Haha fuckers! I'm in Thailand, so fuck y'all and your contest! I've just been stringing you along to see how pissed off I can make you!"

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Why don't you just get liquored up and make a random decision? This method has served the Presidency for decades.

I'll help you ObiJo by Devin 9-14-02

Hey, I made this BASIC program that'll process all the comics, calculate their score based on the criteria you specified for your contest, and output the winner. Thanks a lot, I'll use it right now. Later that day Hmm, let me take a look at this program... 10 PRINT "PROCESSING..."20 FOR A = 1 TO 100000030 NEXT A40 PRINT "THE WINNER OF THIS CONTEST IS: DEVIN" ...I'm desperate enough to use this.

It's very simple. Let's go to North Carolina for the solution:

Kurashima: Judge this thing!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Contestants... We'll be assembling in ObiJo's front lawn at 12 midnight Pacific Standard Time. Please don't forget your torches.

Thank you.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I'm desperately wishing someone would judge this thing, and I didn't even enter.

And so, the two week contest comes to an end.

Only series were considered for winning, so here are a couple of consolation prizes for single comics.

Best Single-Comic Life Story

Best Where-the-Fuck-is-ObiJo-that-Slacking-Cocksucker Comic

Obijo - HURRY THE FUCK UP by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 9-11-02

Obijo , seriously , what the fuck are you doing? Well , ive come up with an incredibly ironic and well thought out way to judge this contest. And how is that exactly? Well , im going to live the rest of my life , and on my deathbed , im going to see which comic came closest to mimicking my life. You realise if you dont judge this soon , the end of your life may be quicker than you anticipate Pah. Those impatient hacks. What do they know about judging.

Okay, and now on to the main event. I went through all the Life Story Comics and picked out the major things that stuck in my mind after reading your series. You see, my ADD mind is doing something amazing recently. Whenever it hears a story, or is reading a book, it creates an image of what it hears or reads.This is amazing to me and something I've never done before, and makes life much more enjoyable and concentrating much easier. So the following is a synapses synopsis, ie it's the things my mind likely would put into picture form upon reading. The number of these mental snapshots determined how I determined how detailed a series was.

I also comment on some dialog lines or comics I found particularly funny. Funny doesn't affect judging in this one, but it gets a thankful nod and later a handjob.

The following are in no particular order, with the exception that I put lara7 first cause I love her.

[list]lara7
[*]Lives in Rainy Seattle
[*]Is a Librarian
[*]Into the Music and Art Scene
[*]Got Paid for Surfing Porn
[*]Twice moved out of state to be with a boyfriend
[*]Drives an art car covered in 5 1/4" disks.
[*]"That's pretty big talk for a sixth grader." = HAHAHA
[*]Part 4 = Quintessential Boo

fuzzy[*]"That's what we get for practicing!" = HAHAHA
[*]Wacked his older brother over the back with a 9 iron to get him to stop torturing him
[*]Computer Alpha Geek in College
[*]8-year celibate phase. Just. Like. Me.
[*]Allergies abound.
[*]Roughly the same age as my brother.
[*]Got engaged in Paris

Kajun[*]He killed his father to be with his mother!
[*]Like me, he wants to work for ILM and live in Amsterdam.
[*]Chicks laugh at him, knowing not his proclivity for murder!

deucepm[*]Had the common childhood ailment "coat hanger in the eye socket".
[*]My So Called Life 3 = Gold ***Maybe post the comic here with HAHAHA instead***
[*]*probably* the funniest series of the contest
[*]"I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you over the voices in my head screaming "KILL HIM! KILL HIM!" = HAHAHA
[*]Him and Mallory are "disgustingly happy" = yay!

il_schmucko[*]"I, a nurse, am also running!" = HAHAHA
[*]His mom caught him jerkin the gerkin.
[*]he went to a high school for nerdy misfits
[*]went to "grad school" in "Vegas", and the quotes are entirely necessary
[*]Whiny whined his way onto kaufman's favorite list :)
[*]Was going to be named Habakkuk Nehemiah
[*]"That's great. Now kindly perambulate into the kitchen and fetch me forth and Otter Pop, bitch." = HAHAHAHA
[*]skipped first grade
[*]"Say, are you sure it's okay to invite high school girls, get them drunk and rape them?" = HAHAHA
[*]Lost a graduate assistantship while carrying a 4.0 GPA!
[*]Buried next to Bekah and it's sweet

itsclark[*]Has a degree in chemistry
[*]Works in the semiconductor industry
[*]Psycho Therapy #713 = HAHAHAHA
[*]Marries the G.I. Joe Baroness and lives in a cinder-block fortress comopund in the Ozarks!
[*]Becomes a marijuana farmer
[*]"Intruder! My female ninja bodyguards will destroy you!" = HAHAHA

Devin[*]Birth Weight - 7 lbs
[*]Birth Cranial Diameter - 8.5 inches
[*]Birth Vertical Distance from cranial apes to eye (center of pupil) - 1.5 inches
[*]Birth Horizontal Distance between eyes (pupil to pupil) - 1 inch

Kurashima
[*]Got revenge on his childhood bully when they worked together
[*]Michelle the Bitch left him for someone she actually believed was a spy
[*]Fell into depression for 4 years :(
[*]Comes out of depression and meets Jo. (No relation to ObiJo)
[*]Master Thespian Hernandez stuck it to Michelle the Bitch good!

ObiJo[*]Dad tries experimental medicine and goes psycho
[*]Doesn't see dad for last ten months of his life
[*]Was picked on in high school
[*]Became a brawler
[*]Ran over a guy who pulled a gun on him
[*]Has lost 100 pounds.
[*]Wants to become completely aware.
[*]Dead sexy.

duxcolonel
[*]Had some trouble getting naked lady-folk companionship
[*]His school had blood red paintwork
[*]His best bud is Steve
[*]Steve's girlfriend Pam is all about the chocolate

Smarmulus
[*]Born around the time of the Kennedy assasination
[*]Has Known fuzzy since childhood
[*]Headed Computer Department at an advertising company
[*]Quit the Advertising job because Mr. Purcell is the devil.
[*]Reunited with fuzzy here at stripcreator = yay!

Gabe (aka RFP)[*]His parents called him Royal Fat Person (RFP)
[*]Husky Swim Team trumpet player
[*]Wore shorts all through winter, just like I used to do in snowy Prescott, Arizona
[*]Was into photography
[*]The nice guy the hot girls never wanted to date, but loved talking to and complaining about the shit way their boyfriends were treating them
[*]Super Cool supportive parents
[*]Married to a doctor
[*]Married for the insurance
[*]"Maybe we could get a monkey." = HAHAHA
[*]Most number of future comics in the contest

[b][size=3]INTERMISSION ONE

END OF INTERMISSION[/b][/size]

israphael
[*]Graduated from vet school
[*]After graduating, opted for grad school instead of vet work
[*]"And if I had to guess... you have a real tiny penis." = HAHAHAHA
[*]He successfully defended his dissertation = yay!
[*]Dissertation clerk hasn't been laid since the Carter presidency
[*]Got a Federal Government job
[*]Goes back to being a Vet. Nay, a Super Vet.

Bazilla[*]Nearly born in a supermarket
[*]First word was GOAL! :)
[*]Lives in Wales
[*]Fainted 10 times
[*]Doctors in Wales suck!
[*]Has to get ear vacuumed out every 3 months. :(
[*]Has GCSE and A-Levels done.
[*]Wants to take a year off and go to Norway.

Kaufman
[*]Was a child prodigy
[*]Got his first cat at age nine
[*]Got his taste for puns from his grandad
[*]Is on a number of humor sites
[*]"Talk about negative batting averages; for awhile, I had MORE rejections than attempts." = HAHAHA
[*]Has a doctorate.

dcomposed[*]His dad hits him and is a turd monkey
[*]"Burn everything!" "Can do." = HAHAHAHA
[*]He stabbed a guy
[*]He's addicted to drugs.
[*]Kicked out of 3 schools in 6 months
[*]Last year he spent 2 months in a detention center
[*]A virgin
[*]Wants to be a truck driver
[*]"yep... uh... there's still two panels left." = HAHAHA

my_fawn_has_diarrhea
[*]"However, my Catholic upbrining has damaged me psychologically. In fact, I remain an observant Catholic." = HAHAHA
[*]Had 2 kids young
[*]Had a year from hell like me
[*]His younger brother died of cancer :(
[*]"Ah, sweet myster of life at last I've found thee." = HAHAHA
[*]His wife loves oral sex!
[*]I love his wife!
[*]Great ending panel of series.

[b][size=3]INTERMISSION TWO

END OF INTERMISSION[/b][/size]

Shadow_Artist[*]people have always thought he's gay
[*]Elected head student
[*]Met the queen and made her laugh
[*]A virgin
[*]Doesn't drink alcohol
[*]Going for a doctorate
[*]"Let's all go to the lobby... let's all go to the lobby... let's all go to the lobby, and get ourselves some snacks!" = HAHAHA

boinky
[*]His mother was a 58-year-old swedish crackwhore
[*]He was born behind a 7-11
[*]He had his imbilical cord hacked off with a rustry fork
[*]He enjoys masturbation.
[*]He will become a robot.
[*]He will enjoy masturbation even after becoming a robot.

Namgubed
[*]Military brat born in West Germany
[*]Placed 46th in state math contest
[*]Broke into the University President's office
[*]Joined the Army Reserves to finance college. College was then interrupted by... WAR!
[*]Stationed in Saudi Arabia as a medic during Desert Storm.
[*]Earned the nickname Debugman for his superhuman debuggery
[*]Works as a programmer
[*]Lives in AZ like me!

ladyj
[*]Raised in my favorite city I've never been to - Brooklyn!
[*]Had cancer. :(
[*]Brilliant use of chopping block --> butch to depict a female cancer patient
[*]Like me, doesn't believe in monogamy
[*]Trying not to date guys like her father
[*]"If wishes were horses." = HAHAHA
[*]"The great thing about not being into commitment is that I'm not committed to being single." = Great line.
[*]"And I get a sizable private grant to live my life as an art form." = HAHAHA
[*]Plays Magic! yay!

Kelly_Midnight
[*]Brilliant use of *giggle* in the second comic 2nd panel to show someone laughing because someone else was laughing at what you siad. (Follow that? :) In my many months here, I've never seen that before.
[*]But longer, Kel! How are we to know the goodness that is Kelly_Midnight in only 2 strips.

DexX
[*]He was a kind-hearted child
[*]"According to mum, I cried just a little bit, but I was really quite brave about it... *sniff*... no punchline on this one... *sniff*" - how precious!
[*]Has 8 siblings
[*]His dad was an abusive monster. :(
[*]A child prodigy.
[*]Has been married to the beautiful, intelligent, funny, loving, creative, strong, patient, kind, talented, wonderful in every way BlueBexq for 10 years.
[*]Phobic of housework
[*]Suffers from crippling self-hatred. :(
[*]"If you want my opinion, I think you're just insane." = HAHAHA
[*]He killed me!

Bluebexq
[*]Born same year as me, 1975
[*]Childhood split between two different cities - Alice Springs, which she liked and Bendingo which she didn't
[*]Knows how to fence, and I ain't talking stereos
[*]Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant idea to illustrate life as a series of choices. Really executed well too. :)
[*]Taught me there exists a place called "Wagga Wagga".
[*]Was an engineering major (rowr)
[*]Works for the department of immigration
[*]Her doggy just passed on. :(

akirajim
[*]He loves me!
[*]He is the Ubermensch.
[*]As the Ubermensch, is destined to destroy the world and remake it in Nietschze's image[*]If the Ubermensch cannot, for any reason, fulfill his duties, the Ubermensch's crown will be taken away and given to the First Ubermensch Runner Up.
[*]Graduated with honors.
[*]Celebrated said graduation by seizing a large number of tanks
[*]Named said aggregation of tanks Big Tank Army
[*]Uses Big Tank Army (TM) to capture Seattle and rename Seattle Evil Seattle.
[*]Evil Seattle serves as the Base of Operations of The New Thought.
[*]Celebrates his capturing of Evil Seattle with prepubescent Asian sex.
[*]Still loves me!
[*]After prepubescent Asian Sex, calls meeting of loyal subjects and declares he shall conquer the rest of the United States.
[*]Conquers the rest of the United States.
[*]Changes history books.
[*]Reshapes human thought.
[*]Celebrates by shooting said self in head.
[*]Dies.
[*]Fin.[/list]

Yeah, I may be slow, but I'm thorough. [Will Smith Voice]You know what I'm saying.[/Will Smith Voice]

Okay, out of all of these fine series, I picked the ones I felt showed the most detail. The finalists are...

[center][b]DexX
Bluebexq
ladyj
Namgubed
dcomposed
Bazilla
gabe
il_schmucko
lara7
akirajm[/center][/b]

It was then made public that akirajm had sold nude pictures of himself in college, so I stripped his title of Ubermensch from his, disqualified him from the contest, and spanked him. Oddly, this only made him love me more.

From these finalists, I narrowed it down to 3 Super Leet Finalists of Justice, who had Super Leet Detail Skillz. They are...

[b][center]Namgubed
dcomposed
gabe[/b][/center]

And from these three, the winner is...

drum roll...

Gabriel "Royal Fat Person" Billings!

Congratulations, gabe! You had the most detailed future comics of the competition and it paid off for you.

And thanks to everyone for sharing their life stories. I know you all better now. When you post in the forums, I'll now have a little clearer picture of who's on the other end of the post. :)

Good contest, everyone. And thanks for your patience.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

After all that wait, it was worthwhile, well judged out thing in the end. Well done Obi, it must of taken you about 2 weeks to get through them...oh wait, it did.

Well done Gabe!

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

...and well done ObiJo for working so hard on the judging.

All future judging will seem weak and unimpressive...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I can't beleive I lost. What's funnier than masturbating robots?
(Don't answer that.)

Thank you, thank you. I'm working on a really totally special contest which will be ready to go this Sunday.

By that I mean next spring.

Gabe

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I think gabe definitely deserved to win, because his series follwoed the rules the best (birth to death). I truly enjoyed gabe's series, and couldn't have lost to a better person.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Good choice, Obi.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I came so close.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

This probably balances out your karma for that link of yours that I clicked that blew up my computer.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I would have entered a detailed work but three panels is soooo much!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Epilogue: Figure and Ground by kaufman 9-15-02

So I didn't even make Obi's semifinal cut. I could have added many details, but either forgot to, or chose not to. What does that mean? Am I shallow and empty, or is ObiJo for not realizing the depth of my omissions? Should I care? Should anyone care? Shit.

Figure and Grandma by kaufman 9-15-02

But you of all people know with what level of seriousness such things on this site should be taken. Yeah, but that assumes they don't reflect on real life. Well, do they? How in the world should I know? Why don't we just make some comics using the new characters? Death uses his boy scout training to make a granny not.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I said not to click it about seven thousand times.

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Batman created by Bob Kane