No, I eat with my other mouth. This one is reserved solely for wirthling's pleasure.

My wife hit a patch of ice in the Target parking lot a while back and slid into another car about a month or two ago. I have a bad feeling that two claims in a short period does not bode well for my insurance premiums, regardless of the fact that it was completely her fault. Except for the little part that was my fault for parking on the street 'cause I thought the wife had to work tonight. Which she doesn't. So I guess I can blame it all on her.

Fuckity fuck fuck.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

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Uh, Gabe, this link does some crazy shit. At least it does for me. I somehow, ended up with this thread in another IE window.

oh, great, it's not doing it anymore.

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I just got it too. Very strange.

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For me, the link opened to a "country selector" page. After I selected a country, I went to Products, then Mice, and found the page that corresponds to Gabe's original URL. It is a MouseMan® Dual Optical.

I might have to get me one of those. There are few things I hate doing more than despuckifying the mouse rollers on a standard mouse.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Surpisingly, this isn't as bad as it looks. For once I came out on top. The lady in the Camry has lots of scratches, a big ass dent and a busted tie rod. Jeep had a couple of pieces of plastic ripped off. He's a tough biatch.

This happened about a month ago when I was backing down a friend's driveway and turned too early, running into his chainlink fence post and ripping part of the bumper off and breaking that plastic chunk. There was no way I was calling the insurance company for that, even with a $250 deductible. So I got everything back into place and kept on trucking. But for all intents and purposes, this just happened. *wink wink*

I still don't understand how she fucked her car up that bad. There's nothing scratched or dented on mine. I guess most of the serious whacking could have been the other car in front of mine, which she also hit.

This is inside her wheel well. Her tie rod snapped like wirthling's spine in a WWF cage match.

This is the old geezer who lives across the street. Right after she did it he wandered out and started offering advice, as well as complaining loudly about women drivers. I thought he knew her and was being funny. He wasn't.

Here's the genius herself. The purse on her shoulder is what she was apparently trying to untangle from her seatbelt when she lost control and smacked both our cars. In this fucking day and age where your average person can talk on the phone, put on lipstick, eat an Egg McMuffin, drink coffee and do the crossword all while driving in thick rush hour 90 mph traffic she loses control while wrestling with a purse on a residential side street fifty feet past a stop sign with no other cars in sight (except for the parked ones).

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Worse than this is when you make a little mistake that anyone could make, but it puts you in the hands of a shithouse driver who couldn't deal with an emergency situation if his useless, pathetic life depended on it, making the ensuing collision your fault, legally speaking. Back in August, on one of those annoying nights when it rains just enough to be slippery as fuck, I was driving our poor old Datsun, with Bec in the front passenger seat (the left seat - this is Australia, remember). We were turning right across traffic that had stopped for a railway crossing with the gates down, lights flashing, and bells ringing... wait on, I'll draw a picture...

I figured there would be nobody coming because the boomgates were down at the railway crossing, but I looked anyway, and Bec looked too, saying, "It's clear, you can go." So off I went. I never actually saw this guy until after he had hit us, but he said he came out of the side-street. The thing is, if he had been paying attention, he would have been able to see us for at least five seconds before the impact. We were almost straight when he hit us, and we only heard brakes for a fraction of a second before the impact. Bec says she didn't hear brakes at all.

Basically, I was the driver, and I made an error, which makes me legally responsible for the impact. However, if this guy even vaguely resembled a competent driver, out mistake would not have mattered, and there would not have been an accident.

We had to pay $2000 for the repairs to his car, and ours was written-off. We had to get a personal loan to buy a new one. The new one is insured.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

What I want to know is what they thought of you taking all these pictures of them and how you explained it.

I totaled my car a two years ago. This is what happens when you accelerate from a stop into the side of a truck that is going... well, pretty fast.

This one was basicly my fault, at least according to the law. There wasn't much use fighting it. Going to work on a seriously foggy day (I mean really, really really foggy), I stop at a stop sign. Look left... nothing coming, look right, nothing coming, accellerate... *BOOM* right into the side of a big, dark green Ford F-150 pickup. Full airbag deployment, whee!

My only guess is that he was a) going pretty fast and b) didn't have his headlights on for me not to have seen him. Not that it mattered... I drove into the side of a frikking truck.

Luckily for me, he was driving with a suspended license, and his passenger was an illegal alien, so he was quite eager to settle for the repairs to his truck and $1000. His passenger, of course, didn't want any record of his existence.

When I hit him his truck pivoted into the side of my car, causing all kinds of damage to the side. When I got out of the car, I found a claw hammer hanging near the front edge of the smashed-in rear side window, and rolls of nails for a nail gun in the back seat. Apparently, he had left his tools unsecureed in the back of the truck. I'm lucky that stuff didn't come through the front window... very lucky.

I walked away from it.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Fuzz, just think how lucky you were that you hit the side of the truck, and the truck didn't hit the side of you. I would guess that those two events would have involved a difference of approximately one second...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Not even one second. 60 mph is 88 feet per second. So really more like a tenth of a second.

Of course, if fuzzy had been just a tenth or a fifth of a second later, Pickup Bandito would have missed him altogether.

This is one of them Sliding Doors type situations.

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What others say about boorite!

Did anyone see that Star Trek episode, Parallels? It runs with all the "quantum realities" and alternate universe theories... Worf's different realities come crashing into one another and it's really cool... Deana goes from being friend to wife, Riker is captain, Beverly is dead, etc etc.

...and Wes ended up cleaning toilets in the alien sector of Babylon 5. Methane breathers... ewww...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I see that Cleveland, like my old home New Orleans, has a city ordinance requiring each neighborhood to display at least one fat old shirtless guy with manboobs and clearly visible underpants. Ah, civic pride.

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What others say about boorite!

Yeah, I love that one. I love all of the alternate reality episodes, like when they come across a time-space anomaly and the Enterprise-C comes out of it (causing a change in the timeline that only Guinan senses) or the one where Riker doesn't know if he's crazy or not. My favorite is the one where Picard gets zapped by that probe and lives a lifetime within the span of 20 minutes.

No, wait, actually I, uh, don't know what you're talking about. I don't watch that stupid show, dork.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Instead of creating my very own "found a house" thread, I guess I'll just piggyback on Gabe's:

I found a house!

Our offer was accepted last night. It's a 4 BR 2.5 BA "bi-level" in Cheverly, Maryland, about a mile from the DC line, about 6 miles from the Capitol dome. I don't have pics yet, but with my leet drafting skills, I can give you an idea of the lot.

It's a corner lot up on a hill, so there'll be no idiots building basketball goals right next to our bedroom window. Downside: I have to mow that weird peninsula on the side of the house. It's worth it.

Unfortunately, there's no driveway or carport. Ah, well.

Here's an approximation of the front of the house, to the best of my recall (I was in a three-day Old Crow and Xanax blackout).

It's cool-- a multipurpose shape: a box. The lower level is really a basement-- the sides and back are in the ground. You walk in and there's a big family room on the right and a bedroom on the left, and straight ahead is a huge unfinished workshop/utility space, and then you walk up to the kithen/dining/living/sleeping rooms on the main level.

Place was built in 1961 and the same family has lived there ever since. The windows are pretty small and the landscaping is a blank slate and there's no deck or patio in the back, so we've got some work cut out for us-- but it's a good basic house, and there's not an assload of junk and overgrowth in the yard, and the view is not the back of someone's rusted-out shed, which is more than I can say for those hellholes I've been whining about. It's also huge by our standards-- about 2400 sf.

Huzzah!

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What others say about boorite!

*drool*

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

*drool*

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Hell, come on over and we can injure ourselves with power tools.

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What others say about boorite!

Party at Boorite's new place!!!! Who's on keg duty?

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

Aaaargh! I think I'm going to have to move to the US if I'm wanting to buy anything. I gave up on the whole flathunting idea after realising that I basically couldn't afford to buy a flat anywhere decent in Glasgow.

I don't know how things work over in the states, but the situation in Glasgow at the moment is that all properties are going on sale at "offers over" prices which are tending to become ridiculously inflated. For example, a flat I saw that was priced at offers over 55k actually went for 92k. But the banks only loan the mortgage up to the valued price, ie in this case the 55k, and the buyer has to find all the rest of the cash themselves, plus the deposit. So although I could afford a mortgage, there was no way I could get my hands on an extra 10-15k to make a decent bid for anything.

And now I'm reading Boorite, WIrthling and Gabe all going "We're househunting" and then like a week later "We've bought a house!".

Not all together, obviously.

That sounds a lot like my house, boorite, except the yard slopes down to the back. As a result, where you have a front door, we have a sliding back door, and our front door is on the other side of the upper level.
Front view Back view

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Kramer ...

My Mummy and Daddy bought a flat in Glasgow for me to live in which went on the market at offers over 55k and "we" bought at 84k (we offered £500 more than the second highest offer in a secret ballot type thing).

This was 3 years ago so times have changed and that and prices have gone up and shit.

Apparantly there is a 10% increase per year in the flat value atm so it's prolly worth 110k or something now.

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Charlie dont surf

It would have been cool if we could all pool our funds together and get some million dollar fat ass crib with a pool and a golf course. Then we could turn it into a Stripcreator commune.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Shweeeeeet.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Boorite neglected to mention the lovely little bungalow he looked at owned by Mr. Escher.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

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And now I'm reading Boorite, WIrthling and Gabe all going "We're househunting" and then like a week later "We've bought a house!".

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I would have been all for spending more time, but it's hard when you have to fly 2500 miles across the country to look.

I ain't complaining, though. It turned out pretty good.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

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Boorite neglected to mention the lovely little bungalow he looked at owned by Mr. Escher.

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I tried not to say anything, but that is a brilliant joke.

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What others say about boorite!

It really was, wasn't it?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.