Felix & Fido by The_young_scot 2-26-06

Hello there, inferior HEY! WHATS UP! Oh nothing, I was just wondering if you could help me out ANYTHING FOR YOU BUDDY! Yes, Its very important that you keep licking that electrical socket IT TASTES LIKE JOY!

What you REALLY want to say by The_young_scot 2-28-06

Hey man, enjoy our gig? I heard you shouting during one of our songs I wasn't shouting, I was screaming. I cut off my testicals so that I can never bring a child into a world filled with such horror as I have witnessed here tonight Hey, it wasn't that bad Wasn't that bad? Ironically people will write songs about how awful you were So do you want to buy our cd? No, but I'll sell you my severed testicals for a pound

/philosophy by The_young_scot 3-04-06

Last night I was thinking, you know if you wanna make some software on a computer, you would make it with a programming language Yeah Well how do you make a programming language? Well I suppose you.... well.....umm It's like questions about God, except for computers Well I guess that rules out the "Intelligent Design" argument

---
The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

Groovy! 354 by edoggydog 6-09-05

...so, then I said to grandpa, "You mean to tell me that when I reach my 80's, I'll have to go back to wearing diapers all over again?! @%#$ that" Groovy! Say, uncle... Did you read that cacamayme report that most hurricanes are followed by a "baby boom"? Yes. And, did you hear that Hurricane Jamalia hit the coast of Florida this morning? Ah, shit! My sister's going to kill me!

Vote Wolf by biped 2-21-06

Well, so far the election is running very smoothly. And voter turnout is fantastic. It certainly is! I only hope that nothing controversial or upsetting happens before-- Ha-HAAAA!!! It is I -- VOTE WOLF!!! NO!!! NO!!! NOT VOTE WOLF!!! OH MY GOD, HE REALLY DID IT -- HE VOTED!!! A WOLF VOTED IN THE ELECTION!!! CURSE YOU, VOTE WOLF!!! YOU'VE RUINED OUR ENTIRE DEMOCRATIC PROCESS!!!

Vote Wolf Returns by biped 3-10-06

Whew...well, we finally solved that "hanging chad" problem. And recounted every single vote statewide. What a horrible, soul-deadening task. If I had to go through that again, why, I think I might just take a gun and put it in my -- Guess what? I VOTED in this election! Ha-HAAA!!! NO, VOTE WOLF!!! NOOOO!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL, VOTE WOLF!!! YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING!!! SOMEBODY TELL MY KIDS MOMMY HAD TO DIE BECAUSE OF VOTE WOLF!!! SOB!!!

Turd Mountain by biped 3-10-06

Well, we finally found it. Turd Mountain. Yes -- the legendary mountain that is said to be a gigantic fossilized dinosaur turd. Boy, that must've been some huge-ass dinosaur to have shit a turd of these massive proportions. From the looks of it, it's my guess that he had an asshole roughly the size of Disneyland. You know, Disneyland came out of Walt Disney's asshole. And then he went on TV and said, "Hey, kids--look what your old Uncle Walt just shit for you." Walt Disney came out of a retarded buffalo's asshole.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

RCL no. 936 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-13-06

Hey, Pete... (Arrghh!) Did you hear about that sick bastard in San Diego who was using brain-damaged children to make PORNOS? No, I didn't... That's HORRIBLE! Do you wanna know what the WORST part is? What could possibly be any worse than that? Those little retards kept forgetting their lines! AAARRRGGGHH!!

Bon Jovi vs. Zombies by UnknownEric 3-13-06

Man, I seen a million faces out there. What'd you do? Rocked 'em all. Sweet.

---
I has a flavor!

2 da MAXX!!! by biped 3-20-06

Whoa! This comic hasn't even started yet, and already the title is fucking AWESOME! Huh? What are you talking about? "2 da MAXX!!!" Greatest title for a comic EVER! OMG, it fucking RULES! Title? Comic? Yeah, like...I'm totally breaking the fourth wall and stuff -- HEY LOOK...SARDINES!!! Witch!!! WIIIIIITCH!!!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Bad Word Sayers by biped 4-03-06

FUCKITY-FUCK! ASS! SHIT, FUCK, AND PISS! It...it's the Bad Word Sayers. I hate their guts and livers. ...the first one said, "fuckity-fuck" and "ass", and then the other one said, "shit, fuck, and piss." Why, those fucking cocksuckers. They should each have a steel-hard horse dick rammed up their shitholes.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

BOGO by biped 4-09-06

Mama, "new baby" calls Bozo "Bogo." NEW BABY MUST BE ELIMINATED. Um, dear...what you refer to as "new baby" is our son, Dustin. And you gave birth to him not less than-- NEW BABY MUST BE LEFT IN COYOTE TERRITORY. Buh...Bogo... BUH-WOOOOOOO!!! WUH-WUH-WOOOOOOOO!!!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

100 years war by TheGovernor 4-06-06

Sir, Enemy Camp has been spotted, below us in the valley. Excellent we'll have the advantage of high ground, prepare the troops for a frontal assault Meanwhile.. General Escargot, ze enemy are at the top of ze ridge. Ok, tell ze men to make ready ze defences. We shall let them come to us. Charge!!

Real-Life Comics by biped 4-10-06

I only make comics based on things that actually happen to me in real life. Huhnm. "I only make comics based on things that actually happen to me in real life." "WOW FUCK LET'S FUCK BITCH HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHA" "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" Fucking BASTARD.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Meat Wolf by biped 4-11-06

Oh gracious me, Ed -- the big party's in one hour, and we don't have a THING to eat! No steaks, no burgers, no -- Hey -- let's call MEAT WOLF! Party in one hour! No food! HELP US, Meat Wolf! Ow-WOOOOOO!!! What a lovely party, Edna. And the food -- thanks ever so much for that delicious sirloin cutlet and pork rump filet. Don't thank ME -- thank MEAT WOLF!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

RCL no. 53 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 8-09-05

Hey, baby... Wanna come back to my place? Uh, no... C'mon! Just for a little while. I'll even make dinner for you... I'll pass... Oh, honey... Don't be like that! Leave me alone, mom!

RCL no. 160 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 8-15-05

I COMMAND YOU TO GO OUT AND KILL ALL HUMANS!! Yes, your Supremeness! Oh, and while your out... ...can you pick me up a Double Quarter-pounder with Cheese Meal Deal, and super-size it with a Diet Coke! I love it when these dipshits order fast food with all those calories and grams of fat, and then wash it down with a diet drink... STOOOOO-PID!!

Home for the Holidays by kaufman 4-12-06

Herman, aren't you done hiding those eggs yet? Give me a moment, Madge, I just have to figure out where to put one more. That bush in front of you looks pretty good. Come on! I don't tell you how to do YOUR job! Hello! McFly! Anybody home? I'm a professional sex slave. Aha! I know just the place to put this ...

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Bova Gish by biped 4-12-06

And now, singing the classic song "Bova Gish", which has been his signature tune since topping the charts back in 1957...VERN BLEFFNER! "Bova gish... Bova gish... being your beau is my only wish! If I were a fish in a petrie dish...I'd sing -- 'Bova gish! Bova gish!'" "Bova gish...Bova gish...your tender kisses are so tasty-delish. Mein Gott in Himmel! Ich lieb dich! Oh, Bova gish -- Bova gish!" Mommy, what does "Bova Gish" mean? FUCK YOU!!!

The Doggy by biped 4-12-06

Mommy, I'm taking Doggy on a dangerous rock-climbing expedition, and then we're going on the world's biggest, scariest rollercoaster. Honey, Doggy doesn't want to be thrilled. Phooey. Well anyway, here's a bone, Doggy. I hope that doesn't thrill you too much.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Love Story by biped 4-17-06

You know you're my dream hog, baby. It's not nice playing "hard to get." I...yearn for you. Oink! What's with Princess today, Farmer Shapiro? She's really giving me the cold shoulder. Err, you know I don't like it when you come around, Ted...and that restraining order is still in effect... Come on, put her on. If she doesn't want to talk to me, that should be her choice, not yours, you decrepit old -- Ted, I'm hanging up.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Gotta Love Old Movie Stubs by UnknownEric 4-18-06

Huh, I'll be damned. What is it? According to this ticket stub I just found, in June 1995 I caught a midnight showing of "Batman For Eve." Sounds like softcore porn. I was about to say the same thing.

---
I has a flavor!

RCL no. 1026 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 4-18-06

So, Aziz... Were you able in infiltrate the Easter Egg hunt at the White House to find any weaknesses in the security system? No, Osama... I couldn't get anywhere NEAR there! Don't tell me they broke your cover! No, sir. They're was a mob of gay parents wanting to crash the hunt with their children, and the Secret Service shut the place down... GAY PARENTS?? Hmmm... Maybe, we don't need to do any more "9/11's" in this God- foresaken country! Seems that America's already headed towards a MAJOR implosion all on its own! Our work is done here, sir!

Groovy! - Black, Jack! by edoggydog 1-13-06

Thanks for calling the Orange County chapter of the NAACP. My name is Neal, and I can assist you... Groovy! I'd like to talk to the head nigger there... Uh, we here at the NAACP like to be called either African-American, or "people of color"... Sorry. I just wanted to donate $50,000... In that case, I'll get the head nigger on the phone now!

Eddie The Ninja by biped 4-29-06

I LOVE CAKE!!! EDDIE, WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP ABOUT THE FUCKING CAKE!!! I LOVE CAKE!!! I'm warning you... CAKE!!! CAKE!!! CAKE!!! THAT'S IT!!! I'M GETTING A NEW ROOMMATE!!!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The Brain Lickers by biped 5-14-06

Well, Nurse Bigguns, the patient's brain is exposed. Let's lick it. YUM-YUM!!! ME LOVES TO LICK BRAINS!!! THEM AM TASTE GOOD!!! Later... Err, did you have to actually EAT the brain, nurse? Otherwise, the patient's chances to pull through were excell-- ME GOT REAL HUNGRY AND LOST CONTROL!!! AND ATE THE MAN'S BRAIN!!! YOU AM JUST MAD 'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET ANY!!! HA-HA!!! ME ATE A MAN'S BRAIN RIGHT OUT OF HIM'S SKULL TODAY, MOMMY!!! BUT IT NOT SPOIL ME'S DINNER--WHAT AM WE HAVING!!! S-stuffed oysters...(choke)

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

"BUTTHOLE!" by biped 5-17-06

"...David Hasselhoff's butthole. The end." My, that was a fine story. Yeah, and they say the musical stage play version is even better. Is David Hasselhoff in it? Just his butthole. Splendid. I really liked his one-butthole show about Harry S. Truman's butthole.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.