Welcome to FTC #17!

Here's the rules :
1) Change the last panel, adding text to either character, or both.
2) Changing the direction the characters face is allowed.
3) A lot of different awards are given out, as seen here. Note that not all awards are guaranteed to be given out, and funny titles are strongly encouraged. A psychic award will be given for the comic that most resembles mine.
4) The winner of the "Zinger Award" receives the honor of hosting the next FTC.

The Template :

FTC #17 Template by niteowl 1-03-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started?

Judging will be sometime Thursday. Good luck and have fun!

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Almost forgot the BONUS (1up) award!

The subject of this FTC is a riot. This caused a song with the word riot in it to be stuck in my head.

What song is stuck in my head now? You must specify the band/artist and full name of the song.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

FTC 17: I have a brick in my purse by laughinginyourface 1-03-04

Good Evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? No.

FTC 17: (insert title here) by laughinginyourface 1-03-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how the riot started? Actually, I don't know how it started because I have a disorder in my eyes because they're so big it prohibits me form seeing more than two feet in front of me.........That is correct. So, you've just been screaming "KILL AMERICANS!" this whole time?

I might have the song thing in later.

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...and pain joined his urge to percieve...

Sublime - What I Got
The Clash - White Riot

I'll submit a strip later =)

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"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

Eating Little Children--A Novel by Michael Jackson by Ewwwww 1-03-04

Good Evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? It was when Ruben from American Idol started eating children. Then Michael Jackson started eating them too. But not the way you would expect.

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

I am assuming you used the host-l image in these strips. For some reason I can't see about half of the pictures at present. Sorry if I used the wrong one =/

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"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

Because it had to be done.

FTC 17 : It Wasnt Me, It was the Unarmed Man. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 1-03-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? Wangs Dongs

Because it was bloody obvious.

FTC 17 : We Control the Horizontal, but our remote is busted by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 1-03-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? Phil McCracken? Isnt that what they call an Irish Homosexual.

Because theres a political award

FTC 17 : Journey to the Centre of the Dearth (of comedy) by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 1-03-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? Well, after a string of denials, Hilary Clinton finally admitted she was entering the presidential race. Wow. To think one politician being honest could cause so much devastation.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Oops, I figured out what I was doing wrong. Thankfully I did use the right character after all =)

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"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

Quiet Riot : Cum On Feel The Noize'
Guttersnipe : Riot In The City
The Product : The Kids Wanna Riot

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

FTC #17: The Entry by The_Kingpin 1-03-04

Good evening. We have a story developing out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? It all started with the announcement from this strip's creator that he will begin working in porno.

FTC #17: Lay All Your Blame On Me by Xuanwu 1-03-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? I blame it all on the Commie Pinko Jewish Teenage Mutant Ninja Preppy Heterosexual Socialist Islamic Fundamentalist Japanese Radical Lesbian Orthodox Christian Gweeps! My thoughts, exactly, Red.

Alternate punchline for Phil: "Wait. I'm one of those. Freaky."

FTC #17 by Denyer 1-03-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? Someone called America gay.

FTC #17: A New Meaning to "White Riot" by Xuanwu 1-03-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? I think it had something to do with how you fired that uzi into the crowd while yelling "GIVE ME JIZZ TURRETS OR GIVE ME DEATH!" Oh, yeah...You wouldn't happen to have any, would you?

FTC #17: Channel 3 - Making the News Since 1979! by Xuanwu 1-03-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? Uh...riot? What riot? DAMN! The interns screwed up the special effects again!

Note: 1979 is the year CNN was started.

FTC 17: The Riot Stuff by Zaster 1-04-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? Doom III was delayed again! Can someone hand me a cinderblock?

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

FTC 17: Takin' it to the Streets by Zaster 1-04-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? One of us noticed that when you smash a shop window and grab what you want, you don't have to pay for it. Interesting. Have you, uh... seen any plasma TVs on display around here?

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

i was gonna say 'white riot' by the clash but thechaos got to it first

'i wanna riot' by rancid

and

'riot riot upstart' by agnostic front

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xx( o Y o. )xx

FTC #17: Begun the Computer Holy Wars Have by Xuanwu 1-04-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? China was unveiling its Linux OS when a Windows users yelled that Linux was for "pinkos." Then an Apple guy called the others "iFruits." It hit the cooling fan after that. Our hearts go out to the families of the gweeps that have been slaughtered this day.

FTC #17: New at 11 - Leo Dies! Much Rejoicing! by Xuanwu 1-04-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? Riot? We're just shooting "Gangs of New York 2." Play along! It's a slow newsday.

Alright, since no one has even come close to getting the bonus question...here's a hint :

Think late 80's pop metal.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

"Riot Act" by Skid Row

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Run Riot - Def Leppard

We built this city, Jefferson starship ?

NaE by ObiJo 1-04-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? Red?

Not an Entry (NaE) by ObiJo 1-05-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? It started when we all suddenly realized the arbitrary nature of ethics! There is no absolute good and bad! "Should" is a myth! The true nature of the universe is "can", the true nature is power! CUT!! Listen, Red... babe... I know you're new to this tv thing, but what say we go easy on the concepts for the sake of Mr. and Mrs. Humanities Major watching at home?

My guess = Zoot Suit Riot by the Cherry Poppin' Daddies

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

ObiJo, your first one there is great =)

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"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

Thanks. : )

You could leave the template just exactly how it is and still have a funny comic, imo.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

FTC 17: The Anthrax Scare by kaufman 1-05-04

Good evening. We have a developing story out of New York City where a riot is going on right now. Let's go to Phil McCracken live on the scene. I'm here with Red Thompson, who has been a witness to the carnage since the beginning. Red, can you tell us how this riot started? Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot! Wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting alight to our beacon, which, I have just remembered, is apocalypse-shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com