My life hasn't been very long. :/
DISK ONE
1. Men Without Hats - The Safety Dance
I credit this song for being the very first one I ever heard.
2. Soundgarden - Let Me Drown
One day when I was about 5 or so, I saw this thing on Nova about these crazy undersea fishies that glowed in the dark. You know, angler fishies and whatnot. I wanted to see those fishies more than anything else in the world. So I jumped off a boat about 10 miles from shore. Fortunately, my dad saved me. I learned an impotant lesson that day: PBS totally sucks.
3. Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
In middle school, I heard this song on the radio. I was all "OMG OMG MUST OWN!" You know. I was a sheep. I worked my ass off and finally earned enough money for the 20 dollar CD, only to find 18 tracks of pure shit and 1 okay track (clint eastwood) which wasn't even that good anyway. I learned an important lesson that day: Don't be retarded when buying CDs.
4. Oingo Boingo - Weird Science
When I was a little kid, Bill Nye the Science Guy was my favorite TV show. And how could he not be? He was totally awesome! With his dorky bow tie and his endearing smile, how could anyone not love him? ACtually, my science teacher I have now totally sucks, so I credit everything I know about science to that one amazing man. Here's to you, Bill.
5. Weird Al Yankovic - Polkamon
Like any foolish follower sheep child, I used to be totally obsessed with Pokemon. It's hip! It's groovy! Collect them all! Damn, I was a sucker. I now have about 5 big binders full of old, unused cards taking up space in my closet. Also, about 20 tapes of the TV show packed away in a box somewhere. but most importantly, this is the thing that got me into anime, the coolest thing ever. Fast forward 5 years from finally saying "Pokemon is lame". I'm watching an episode of Trigun on Cartoon Network. It is awesome. I probably would have never seen it if not for those loveable pocket monsters. So in short, thanks Pokemon, for making me into a total geek.
6. The Cure - Lovesong
This song is mainly here for irony. You know, kind of a: "Tee hee! There's a song about love! And it's for areallystupidguy's life! AHAHAHAHAHA!" Everyone hates me. No one understands me.
7. Michael Jackson - Smooth Criminal
Nearing the end of sixth grade, I threatened to kill this annoying prick in my class. Due to my pleas for pity, the school thankfully covered it up instead of making me go to prison. Thanks school, for not ruining my life.
8. Love Santa - Organ Grinder
Very recently, Me and my friends started up a band called Love Santa. We are totally awesome. We recently released a full-length CD titled The Frog with the Golden Leg, which sold like hotcakes. You shall be seeing this name in lights one of these days! :/
9. Nirvana - Come as you Are
All through my middle school years, I was obsessed with aliens. Aliens kicked butt. They were the egg for my omelette. They were just totally radical. Rock on, aliens. Rock on.
10. Beach Boys - Surfin' USA
Up until I was 7 years old, I lived on the east coast beach in Florida. Yeah, corny surfer beach house and everything. But I was awesome. I was the best surfer of all time. Everyone said I had talent. But then my fucktard parents moved me up to stupid fucktarded Montana, where I totally lost all my skill. You suck, mom and dad.
11. Ween - Waving My Dick in the Wind
This song has nothing to do with my life, but it's totally awesome.
12. The Rolling Stones - Get off my Cloud
This is my mom's favorite song in the whole world. She's been singing it my entire life, and as far as I know, a great deal of her life as well. It's now permanently affixed onto my brain, but it's so totally awesome that I don't care.
13. Taco - Puttin' on the Ritz
All throughout middle school, me and my friends had a dumb little in-joke circulating around. This in-joke...was Taco. Not the singer, the food. We wrote Taco on everything we could find. Some conversations we would just say 'Taco taco taco' to each other. Tacos were the coolest thing in the whole world. TACO TACO TACO TACO!
DISK TWO
1. Amazing Transparent Man - Ocean is a Fuck of a Long Way to Swim
This is the only good band to arise in the past 7 years.
2. The Offspring - Pretty Fly for a White Guy
It dominated the airwaves! It filled the nation with joy! It was fucking awesome! It was...totally overplayed. This song introduced me to the gross commercialism and mainstreamness of the music industry, and told me that I had STOP it!
3. The Spiderman Theme from the 60s
I used to have a copy of the first Amazing Spiderman. I sold it to some guy for about 40 bucks. After I made the transaction, I looked it up on the internet to see how much of a deal I got. Surprise! The thing I sold him wasn't the first Amazing Spiderman (worth about $25,000) but a cheap advertising 40th edition whatever (worth about 14 cents). SCROE!
4. The Backstreet Boys - Backstreet's Back
This is the most annoying and stupid song on earth. Hate it. It is the source of a quality stupid in-joke though, so it deserves some recognition.
5. Kenny Chesney - She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
This song represents the total hatred I have for Montana, it's inhabitants, the wild west, country music, and everything about it.
6. Project Pat - Bitch Smackin' Killa
Because rap totally sucks. Rap is the dumbest, most idiotic thing of all time. Even worse than the mitten on the Arby's commercials. I hate the stupid gangsta people I see in the halls at school. I hate the idiots who refer to this "Reciting Poetry to a Repetitive Beat" as music. I hate the state the world is in now. And most of all, I hate rap.
The rest of the album is made up of a strange, guttral choking noise. This part represents my future. Which is sure to be full of throat infections.
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It's grime time.