Critics, post your critic strips in this critic thread.

Rock critic about town by boorite 4-21-04

Send me an AIN-GEL! Is that a plea for hemorrhoid medicine? I mean, AIN-GEL? Could you stand someplace far away, please? Like you badly need some kind of GEL for your ANUS?

---
What others say about boorite!

World's Stupidest Movie Critic #1 by kaufman 5-18-01

This week we're discussing that so-called classic, "Pride of the Yankees," starring Gary Cooper. "Today-ay, I consider mysel-elf ... Cooper plays Lou Gehrig, a baseball player who gets sick and dies of, *SURPRISE*, Lou Gehrig's disease. The luckiest ma-an I mean DUH! The audience is going to see that coming a mile away. Give the guy another name, for crying out loud! On the face of this earrtth."

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Wow, an entire thread for me to post Andy Dougan comics.

Boorite , have you thought this through properly? I mean, by simply saying "post your comics about critics", youve opened up Dougan to almost every insult known to man (and a few more as well).

Do they have to be critic comics where theyre Actually doing Critic-type-work?

Oh

And

Andy Dougan - Film Critic. by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 9-30-01

Andy is called into the office. Andy. Ive been reading your reviews lately. Dont you think youre being a little harsh on Russell Crowe sometimes? Boss , i cant just praise him because he won an oscar by showing off his pecs and saying as little as possible. Look. We want to run a contest giving away cinema tickets for a year , but no cinema chain will touch us because of your reviews. Look. Im a journalist. I have my integrity. I wont compromise for anyone , especially not when im right. "Russell Crowe is more wooden than the entire contents of a B&Q Warehouse. Do not use firelighters near this man" Yeh. And that was just describing his performance when he split up Tom and Nicole.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Yeah, I really wanted to be Greil Marcus. Or at least Lester Bangs with bigger words.

Unknown Eric - Buffalo News Concert Critic 1995 by UnknownEric 4-21-04

Eric, I'm glad I ran into you. I love your reviews, but could you... uhhh... simplify them a little? What do you mean? *Actual excerpt from a Civ concert review of mine. Well, take this excerpt: "The band repeatedly strained to escape the dulling mediocrity of its chosen genre, but the perils of pop-punk prevented them from achieving any sort of pop transcendence."* Yeah? What's wrong with it? No one can figure out what it means. So?

---
I has a flavor!

Eric: Less transcendence and more anus gel.

---
What others say about boorite!

When a movie critic attaches himself to you... by mmyers 4-22-04

David's sentence structure is repetitive and over simplistic. His paper is an obvious homage to his older brother's paper back in '96. Dude, please. I've got to have this paper done in two hours. Shut up. David's peeing technique is all wrong. He should pee with his left hand so he don't upstage himself. Also, he pees by the river. His composition is all wrong. He should... Dude, I can't pee if you're staring at me. David should grab her waist with both hands. He certainly doesn't want to lose his virginity like that. I don't smell a sequel to David's first sexual encounter. Mom, tell the movie critic to go away!

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

mmyers, you are a magnificent bastard.

---
Poop.