From now on, I'm going to post various random comics that aren't part of a series in this thread. If you want to add some of yours, go ahead. Dumbass.

THE BARNYARD GANG by biped 5-05-04

It's time now for The Barnyard Gang! So come on, everyone! We'll sing and dance, and play some games! And have a lot of fun! Howdy kids, I'm Cowboy Bill. I'll take you to a round-up. I'm Mr. Science! I will teach you how a cow is ground-up! Cartoony Clown will show you Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck! I'm sorry Gang, your show's been cancelled. Ratings say you suck.

P.S. I don't care if you don't like these comics.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

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P.S. I don't care if you don't like these comics.

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BALONEY DAY by biped 4-22-04

Baloney is good. Oh yes...yes, it is. It sure is very, very good, all right! In a sandwich, with mustard. Or even mayonaisse. Or fried up nice and brown in a skillet! With the edges burnt! Yes, yes, and dipped in mustard! And served with turnip greens! Yeah! Oh boy, let's go fry up some baloney, right after you get your sex-change operation, Dad!

A PENGUIN TELLS VARIOUS PEOPLE NOT TO "HAVE A COW" by biped 4-13-04

Don't have a cow, man! Don't have a cow, man! Don't have a cow, man!

"LET'S EAT SHIT" by Goo-Goo and Ying-Yang by biped 4-12-04

Shit is good to eat...oh, boy. Especially from Pete...oh, joy. Because the shit that Pete emits...is yummiest of all the shits. Sally's shit is tasty, too! I eat it till my face turns blue! The shit she makes from Chinese food...is better than a pizza, dude! A shit buffet...that's what I love. Into my mouth, the shit I shove. I eat so much, I'm fit to bust...the British call it "upper-crust." So join me now...we'll eat some shit! Until we've eaten all of it! "You're full of shit," the folks will say...and we will say to them, "Hooray!" I wrote most of this poem. I added the part about eating shit!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

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good. they suck. especially compared to some of your other things.

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actually those last three were highly amusing. especially the penguin one. they remind me of several of my early comics.

Thank you. I am on an emotional roller-coaster now.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I think they're comics all right.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

I have been striving to correct this defect.

THE GLAD LADS starring Blaine Rivers and Floyd Reynolds by biped 4-16-02

Look! Me found kitty cat! Me glad you found kitty cat! Me glad you glad me found kitty cat! Me glad you glad me glad you found kitty cat! Six hours later... ...me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad... ...you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you glad me glad you found kitty cat!

TED VS. TED by biped 11-07-03

I was once trapped in an elevator with Evander Holyfield and Vanna White. I invented elevators. Well, I've been to the moon. That's right -- the moon. I keep my gardening tools in a toolshed on Pluto. Perhaps I should kill you..then my accomplishments will be greater than yours. I've already killed you and brought you back to life a hundred and eleven times, simply for my own amusement.

THE ED BEGLEY, JR. SHOW by biped 4-15-04

Music: "DOOT dee-DOOT dee-DOOOO..." Hi, honey. I'm home. How was work today, Ed? I never made it to work. The battery on my electric car ran down. But, didn't you remember to plug it into the recharger last night? Oh, I plugged it in, all right...I just forgot to hit the "recharge" button. Oh, ED!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Those were hilarious!

Make a series out of the Ed Begely Jr. show!!! XD Its crying out for there to be so much more!

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

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Those were hilarious!

Make a series out of the Ed Begely Jr. show!!! XD Its crying out for there to be so much more!

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Those were hilarious!

Make a series out of the Ed Begely Jr. show!!! XD Its crying out for there to be so much more!

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I'm very glad you liked them. I was afraid no one would get the Ed Begley, Jr. one.

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THE HORRIBLE FUNERAL HOME TV COMMERCIAL by biped 5-06-04

This is the shocking TV commercial that was produced by Pissgums Funeral Home, but was never allowed to be broadcast. Brand new WACKY SLABS! The GROOVY NEW MORGUE ACCESSORY that makes DEATH so much FUN! You'll WISH you were DEAD -- just so your OWN BUTT-NEKKID CORPSE can be SLAPPED onto a WACKY SLAB like a SIDE OF BACON! You've heard the term "GO FUCK YOURSELF"? Well, in DEATH -- you REALLY DO get to "FUCK YOURSELF"! Because here at PISSGUMS FUNERAL HOME, we make ALL the corpses FUCK themselves! AND EACH OTHER! And THEN we FUCK 'EM OURSELVES! And YOU PAY US to DO IT! Like the HUGE DUMB FUCKING ASSHOLE that you are!

This was made as part of MikeyG's Rhyming News series.

The Rhyming News : SPECIAL REPORT by biped 5-06-04

This just in--President Bush was awash in a flush of well-wishers who rushed him and pushed till they crushed him, which then caused his tush to explode with a whoosh... ...as his tummy was smushed and a rather voluptuous cloud of the lushest and plushest aroma that you ever sniffed was allowed to be plowed through his anus quite loudly... ...as he took a whiff and then bowed to the crowd, evidently quite proud, as if this were some gift he'd bestowed to the hushed and then visibly miffed congregation of rowdy convention attendees... ...and people with mullets and drifters who'd showed up to eat some free chow and then lift peoples' wallets while they were distracted by smelling the scent of the President's vent... ...which refused to relent as it hovered unspent and their nostrils were bent to prevent the immensely offensive assault of the gaseous event that inflated the President's shorts like a tent ... ...causing plenty of people to faint to the floor as they wished in 2000 they'd voted for Gore even though he's no more than a bilious bore who's so fat he can no longer fit through a door.Goodnight.

BLABBO HOTEL by biped 4-06-04

1. Register a moniker -- 2. Create a "Blabbo" to represent you -- 3. Talk to your online buddies in 3D! (user: XBOX) I LIKE STUFF WANNA CYBER A/S/L? (user: grrlpwr14) i liek stil cant beliv jinjur quit teh spis grrls, wut up wit dat yo A/S/L? (user: sweetypie) Mommy is typing this for me. I am only five. Would you like to be my online buddy? (user: FUK-Q) LOOK HOW BIG MY ROBOT DICK IS -- WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY ROBOT DICK -- PRESS 4 NOW (user FUK-Q has been banned) (user: divinedarkness) are you into goth? fuck im so depressed...i think i'll get another piercing at the mall tomorrow...Samael willing, of course...lol... (user: pAr/T/dUdE/849329) A/S/L DO U LIK TEH NU DUK NUKEM IT LIK FUKEN ROX!!!??!

THE NEW NON-OFFENSIVE AMOS 'N' ANDY SHOW by biped 4-05-04

Now with ROBOTS! Dat's right, Andy...you gives me fo' hunnut dollahs, and I'll sells you dis here gen-yoo-ine indivisible mink stole so's you can git in good wiff yo girlfren again... Hmm...dat souns lahk a real good deal, alright...I'll take it, Kingfish. You mean da Kingfish done swindled me again, Amos? Holy mackul, I's resgusted. Ah'm afraid so, Andy...and dis sho is a dirty low-down scheme, even fo' de Kingfish. Now hole on dere, Andy...ain't no need for you to get all indignified and go pugilatin' on me...here, I'll throw dis bona-fried see-through hyena-skin coat inta de bargain... Well, now you talkin', Kingfish! My gal is sho gone be extry sweet on me when she see dis.

"DEAD DOG PLAYTIME" starring Goo-Goo and Ying-Yang by biped 4-02-04

We're looking for dead dogs to play with. Yeah! I like to set 'em on fire! I like to put explosives in them and blow them up in Taco Bell parking lots. I like to throw 'em off freeway overpasses onto speeding cars! I like to diaper them, put them in a stroller, and wheel them around the mall so people will be horrified. I like to put 'em in bed with Gramps and Meemaw!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Fish Heads by biped 5-08-04

Hey, let's start a gang and go around stealing, kidnapping, and extorting money from people! Nobody'll ever suspect us, since we're cute dolphins! But...we're underwater! There aren't any people down here to do all that stuff to! They all live up on the surface! Wow...you're right! Let's just swim around all day and do cute stuff, then!

Fish Heads by biped 5-08-04

See that eel over there to my left? He's been hiding behind that kelp all day! Yeah! I think he's spying on that little yellow fish over to my right! Well if he is, he's being pretty bleedin' obvious about it! He really sucks at spying! Yeah! Hey, let's eat him! And the little fish, too! But, don't you want to wait and see what they're up to? No, I'm hungry! Their motivations and concerns mean nothing to me!

"BEMUSEMENT PARK" starring Captain Chip and Goo-Goo by biped 12-04-01

One day, Captain Chip happens upon a cute little girl... La la la...deedle-dee... Hello, little girl! I'm Captain Chip! What's your name? I'm Goo-Goo. "Goo-Goo"? Ha-ha! That's a cute name! I like to commit criminal acts, torture small animals, and watch snuff films. Ha-ha, I...huh?

CAPTAIN CHIP'S JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY by biped 12-03-01

Captain Chip was walking in the park one day, when... I am a character with little or no expression. Gosh! Really? I don't understand! It's simple -- I'm a useful tool for comics artists who want a character to convey dry, subtle humor or world-weariness. Gee, that's swell! They usually use me for happy-type stuff, since I'm so gosh-darn happy all the time! That's what you think...they usually contrast your chipper attitude by having you mouth profanities or sick, twisted remarks. SHIT! FUCK! PISS! SCREW YOUR MOM! Gosh, you're right!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I use him for my captain wanker character! XD

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Do you force him to be Captain Wanker against his will? Is it something that he would be ashamed for his family to see?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Nah.. His family was okay with it. And he enjoyed his role immensely.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

"I can't believe my parents have to see me performing as 'Captain Wanker.' And someday, my own children will be ashamed of me, and will be taunted mercilessly by their playmates." -- last known statement made by "Captain Wanker" before suicide

http://www.stripcreator.com/images/dexx/captain1-1.gif[/img] (left) [i]Publicity photo taken in happier times, during his one of his appearances as the beloved "Captain Chip."

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

"CAPTAIN CHIP -- THE LATER YEARS" part one by biped 5-09-04

Well, I think the crowd's about as big as it's gonna get, Captain Chip...if you can call it a "crowd"...forty or fifty people, tops... Those people are my true fans! Bless each and every one of them for coming to see me! Yeah, well... people have short memories, Captain Chip...the public is fickle... I'll perform for this group of stalwart fans as though they were a throng of ten-thousand! I've never let a single Captain Chip fan down in my entire life! Yeah, er, I've been meaning to tell you...we had to advertise you as "Captain Wanker", or else nobody would show up at all...sorry about that... "Captain Wanker"? Oh my god, no...no! It was just a brief lapse into porn...I needed the money so badly for that hernia operation!

"CAPTAIN CHIP -- THE LATER YEARS" part two by biped 5-09-04

And now, here he is...the guy you've all been waiting for...CAPTAIN WANKER! Hello, ha-ha! It's me, Captain Chip! Greetings, all my wonderful fans! ...clap.......clap......clap... Thank you for that wonderful ovation! Ha-ha, oh yes! What fun we'll have! I'll tell you some wonderful anecdotes about my classic television show! And then we'll have a question-and-answer session, where you, the fans -- TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF!

"CAPTAIN CHIP -- THE LATER YEARS" part three by biped 5-09-04

YEAH, PULL 'EM DOWN AND SHOW US YOUR DICK, CAPTAIN WANKER! AND WANK IT FOR US! Oh, heh-heh...well, I suppose I could, if...if that's what everyone wants... WANK! WANK! WANK!...OH, MY GOD!...HA-HA-HA! HE'S DOIN' IT! Yes...ha-ha...it's funny....I'm funny..... I'm......funny .....ha, ha......ha........ ...as seen here in happier times, during one of his appearances as the beloved "Captain Chip." Coroner's office has ruled the death a suicide. And in sports...

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Dayum, biped,
You are on an emotional roll, aren't you?
i give you 5 sic chik magnets...
now go to town.

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theDROOLfool drooooooools

Five chick magnets? This is what makes the pain and agony of passionate artistic creation worthwhile.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

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Dayum, biped,
You are on an emotional roll, aren't you?
i give you 5 sic chik magnets...
now go to town.
theDROOLfool drooooooools
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Five chick magnets? This is what makes the pain and agony of passionate artistic creation worthwhile
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ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well ...not exactly.
You didn't read the fine print and forgot the sic. It reads "five sic chik magnets."

Sooooooooooooo is it still as momentous for you?

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theDROOLfool drooooooools

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Sooooooooooooo is it still as momentous for you?

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Five chick magnets? This is what makes the pain and agony of passionate artistic creation worthwhile
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ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well ...not exactly.
You didn't read the fine print and forgot the sic. It reads "five sic chik magnets."

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Sooooooooooooo is it still as momentous for you?
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Yes, your qualifying remarks do nothing to detract from my magnificent accomplishment.
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ManOhlive
Ya need to bag and sell that ego....no stumblebum's life for you, my friend!

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theDROOLfool drooooooools

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ManOhlive
Ya need to bag and sell that ego....no stumblebum's life for you, my friend!

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ManOhlive
Ya need to bag and sell that ego....no stumblebum's life for you, my friend!
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I actually possess a great deal of humility. It's just that I rarely get an opportunity to exercise it.
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No wonder some people are flying light while others, like you, are close-fisted with all the immensity of
amour d'individu!

GOOD4YOU!
You'll never be a blind imitator, will you?

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theDROOLfool drooooooools