The Mean Little Squirrel by biped 7-13-04

Slap yourself! No! I'm a MAGIC squirrel, and I can MAKE you slap yourself! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! Hey! Look at the big, fat idiot slapping himself, everybody! WAAAAAA!!! I HATE YOU, MAGIC SQUIRREL!!! WAAAAA-HAAAAAAA!!!

The Mean Little Squirrel 2 by biped 7-13-04

Take your clothes off! I wanna see what you've got under there, baby! How dare you! I'll do no such thing! Oh, yeah? I'm a MAGIC squirrel, and I can make your clothes DISAPPEAR! Wha -- OMIGOD! Hey! Check out the ditzy babe runnin' around half-nekkid, everybody! AAAARRRG!!! YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE SEXIST BASTARD!!! GRRRRR!!!

The Mean Little Squirrel 3 by biped 7-13-04

Hey fuckwad, I'm bored! Dress up in a clown suit and dance around singing "Whoopty-Doo, I'm A Clown!" for my entertainment! You can't be serious -- that would be HUMILIATING! SURELY you're not that much of a MONSTER! Hmm...well, then I guess I could just use magic...and MAKE you do it...seeing that I'm a MAGIC SQUIRREL! NO! NOOOO! Come one, come all, everybody! Gather round and watch this goofy fucker bein' a stupid clown! WHOOPTY-DOO, I'M A CLOWN! LA-LA-LA!!! WHOOPTY-DOO, I'M A CLOWN!!! OH MY GOD!!!

The Mean Little Squirrel 4 by biped 7-13-04

Hiya, Father O'Dool! Let's go watch some wet, sloppy porn flicks! "Porn flicks"? Why, of course not. I would NEVER watch such immoral filth. Aw, come on! I can get us in for free -- I'm a MAGIC SQUIRREL! LET'S GO! HUP! HUP! But I don't want to see the -- Hey look, everybody! Me and m' ole pal Father O'Dool are watchin' "Buttfucks 'n' Blowjobs"! Wow, lookit that blonde bimbo gobble two veiny cocks! OH MY!!! I -- UNNNGGGHHH!!!

The Mean Little Squirrel 5 by biped 7-14-04

Hi, President Bush! Why don'tcha go on national TV and tell everybody that they're all a bunch of big, fat, shit-for-brains assholes? I don't think that'd be a very good idea -- for a variety of reasons. It's okay, George -- I'm a MAGIC SQUIRREL! I can arrange the WHOLE THING for ya! No...don't do it, squirrel...don't -- Welcome, TV viewers of America! President Bush would like to make a big important announcement now, so listen carefully, everyone! Must resist...must...My fellow Americans. I have come to the conclusion that you are all a bunch of big, fat, shit-for-brains assholes.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The sad thing is that all the slack-jawed hicks would still vote for Bush if he said that.

Those comics were good though.

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It's grime time.

amusing.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

If I had magic powers I wouldn't abuse them like that.

I'd abuse them differently...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

I would turn Jessica Simpson into Corey Feldman, so that Nick Lachey would wake up the next morning and find out that he was married to Corey Feldman.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

You're lying. I know you'd do it so you could see him bang Corey Feldman.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Of course, but they would save that for the season finale of "Newleyweds: Nick and Corey."

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.