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CHUBBY
Stripcreator Regular
Member Rated:
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Saddam Hussein, in an address to the nation, says the US plans an unprovoked attack on Iraq.
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Tariq Aziz, at the UN, presents proof that the US has nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons of mass destruction.
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A UN resolution condemns Dubya as a "usurper" and the "power-mad dictator of a rogue state". It condemns him for suspending civil rights and violating the Geneva convention, and calls on him to resign
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Dubya angrily refuses to resign, saying he was "electorated to do a job." Proclaiming "If you ain't with us, you're agin' us", he declares martial law and jails thousands, including 3 Dixie Chicks.
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A UN force consisting of all nations but France and Japan invades and encounters only token resistance, as the US armed forces are all overseas policing intramural squabbles.
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Saddam lands on the deck of a US aircraft carrier, and to a cheering crowd of sailors and marines, declares "Mission Accomplished" as Dubya and his thugs have scattered.
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"Dick" Cheney loads Air Force 2 with gold bullion. Told by the pilot the plane is overweight, "Dick" shoots him and Second Lady Lynne. The co-pilot then flies the plane to an undisclosed location.
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Colin Powell, in a homemade video, apologizes for his actions as well as those of Dubya and the US. After standing thru a recording of the National Anthem, he eats a 9mm breakfast.
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Rummy is summarily executed by partisan forces. His bloated carcass is strung up along 395, to the amusement of beleaguered beltway commuters.
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Karl Rove takes his expertise to work for the Hussein administration in Baghdad, which executes him in two weeks because his views are too reactionary.
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Thos. Jefferson X, of Charlottesville, VA, Amtrak conductor and Civil War re-enactor, spots John Ashcroft on the train headed to Canada disguised as a woman.
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A routine traffic stop in Nacogdoches nabs Condoleeza Rice, aboard a bus headed to Mexico, disguised as a woman.
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The UN begins to withdraw its forces after restoring the presidency to Al Gore.
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Dubya is captured in a spiderhole, disoriented and covered in his own filth. Sentenced to capital punishment, he cheats the hangman by choking to death on a pretzel he smuggled in his anal cavity.
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A standoff at Stetson's, a trendy U Street club, ends when Dubya's twins die in a fierce firefight.
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---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx
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