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CHUBBY
Stripcreator Regular
Member Rated:
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Written after od'ing on mmyers' comics. A doff of the virtual cap to him.
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Republicans are against abortion, right?
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| Vice-President Quayle, if abortion was illegal here, what would you do if your daughter, Sanquentin Quayle, was knocked up by a big, uncircumcised black rapist? | |
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| She's always wanted to visit Switzerland. In fact, I better get her to bone up on her Swiss. | |
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Republicans are against stem cell research, right?
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| I'm sorry, Mrs. Reagan. There's nothing more we can do but try to make him comfortable. If only stem cell research was legal-- | |
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| Oh yeah? GET THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS OUT OF THE FREEZER! I'LL THAW THEM IN THE MICROWAVE MYSELF IF I HAVE TO! SO WHAT IF RONNIE'S 124 YEARS OLD! | |
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Republicans are against gay marriage, right?
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| My daughter, Mary Cheney, is a lesbian, and I wouldn't want her to have to have a marriage of convenience with a rich white guy and be miserable all her life. Like her mom. | |
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| Like me. If you're two-faced, why would you wear that one? | |
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| Hey, Junior! I hope we're not keeping you up past your bedtime! Harharhar! | |
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| Why, not at all, "Dick". But I usually do have a snack about this time. I hope you don't mind if I nuke this burrito. | |
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| No, kid, not the microwave! My pacemaker! My heart! ARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!! | |
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| Good evening, and welcome to Faux News Network's coverage of the vice-presidential debate. With me as always, is Ferdie. That was something, eh, Ferdie? | |
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| It sure was, Mart. "Dick" clearly the winner tonight. He stayed on message, he showed that he would be ready to lead the country if (God forbid) anything happen to Dubya, he demonstrated a mastery.... | |
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| Uh, Ferdie-- "Dick" had a massive coronary before the debate even began. | |
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| We can edit that out, can't we? | |
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| The Scalia Commission released its preliminary findings today that "Dick" was accidentally killed by Senator John Edwards (D-NC) nuking a burrito. | |
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| That's right, Bob, but the findings are already being disputed by some, notable Sen. Arlen Specter (Nazi-PA). | |
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| I knew "Dick". I love "Dick". I also love the junior senator from PA, Santorum. "Dick" couldn't have been killed by one burrito. What was this, some kind of "Magic Burrito"? | |
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"As evidence, Sen. Specter offered this computer-enhanced blowup of the debate video. He claims a grainy image in the background is stagehand Darnell Jefferson nuking a second burrito."
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| All day long, I've been trying to think of a word to describe Vice-President "Dick" Cheney. | |
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| I bet it's "Shithead". It'll bring the house down. | |
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More to come....
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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx
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