1: Use either one of these pictures of Kobe:

Or one of these pictures of Shaq:

2: I don't care what you do to them.
3: Score bonus points by using something from one of the Shaq pictures AND one of the Kobe pictures. And when I say "bonus points" I really mean "nothing".
4: I'll judge this if you're lucky.

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AFROMANS MOVE

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Isn't anybody else going to enter?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

No.

*sigh* fine.

IT'S KOBE DOODY TIME!

this actual screencap shows how clairvoyant filmmaker Paul Michael Glaser was able to break down the fourth wall in a startling way:

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

This is probably the best I'm going to get...

To everyone who didn't enter, I've called Kobe and given him directions to your house.

Third place: boinky33. He would have won the contest easily with his superb entry of simply saying "No.", but I had to disqualify him for not using Shaq or Kobe.
Second place: biped.
First place: habnem.

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AFROMANS MOVE

Damn! I was so close!