Collect the entire set!

37 by kaufman 12-02-04

There are two pieces of candy left. I get them both. Uh uh. Why can't we share, and each have one? Because I'm the reincarnation of Richard Nixon. Oh yeah? Prove it. I am not a crook. Whoa.

1 by kaufman 12-02-04

What's the matter, officer? You were doing 63 in a 25 mph zone. I'm going to have to write you a ticket. You can't do that to me. I'm the reincarnation of George Washington. Right. Like I'm going to believe thait. Look over there. See that chopped down tree? Well, ok, kid. I'll let you off with a warning this time.

9 by kaufman 12-02-04

Herbert, look how much snow we got. Put down your beer and shovel the driveway. Do it yourself, Irma. I'm the reincarnation of William Henry Harrison. Right. Like that makes any difference.

40 by kaufman 12-02-04

Hey babe, did you know I'm the reincarnation of Ronald Reagan? Really, how did you find that out? I, uh, I don't remember. Wow!

16 by kaufman 12-02-04

Down in front! I can't see the stage. I don't have to. After all, I am the reincarnation of Abraham Linc... oops.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

42 by kaufman 12-02-04

... and then he let out the most righteous belch ... Do you mind talking on your cell phone a bit quieter? The whole block can hear you! I don't have to. I'll have you know that I am the reincarnation of Bill Clinton. Oh, really. And how do you expect to make me believe that? glorp, glorp.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Your best work in my opinion.

These are great. I kind of want to do one as soon as I think of an idea.

In the future.... (see kaufman's series) by boinky33 12-03-04

I'm the reincarnation of Christopher Reeve. Prove it!

I know he' not a president.

I don't think kaufman will mind if his brainchild spawns great things.

Reincarnation by MikeyG 12-03-04

Did I ever tell you I'm the reincarnation of Jason Giambi? No way, man. Prove it. 2003... You swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God? I do, and I used steroids for like three seasons. I never used steroids. Uncanny.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

22 & 24 by kaufman 12-03-04

I am the reincarnation of Grover Cleveland. No way! I'm the reincarnation of Grover Cleveland! Oh yeah? Let's fight it out. To the death! You're on! Don't worry, kids. Whichever of them loses is going to come back as the other one anyway.

6 by kaufman 12-03-04

This man was shot by a .38 revolver at close range by a tall, left-handed woman. He was rather drunk at the time, and did not resist. Wow! Do you have an advanced forensic degree or something? No, but I am the reincarnation of John Quincy Adams.

13 by kaufman 12-03-04

There goes the reincarnation of Millard Fillmore.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Kaufman's Fault by biped 12-03-04

HEE HAW!!! ME REINCARNATION OF MILLARD FILLMORE!!! BOING-BWOING!!! OMIGOD!!! HOW DID THIS DOG-ON-BALL GET INTO THE COCKPIT!?! GRRRR!!! ME CRASH PLANE INTO WHITE HOUSE!!! ME PRESIDENT AND TERRORIST AT SAME TIME!!! BEEP-BEEP!!! MAYDAY!!! MAYDAY!!! AIR FORCE ONE IS GOING DOWN!!! ME JOHN LENNON, YEAH-YEAH-YEAH!!! NO SURVIVORS ALLOWED, BUTTFACE!!! ME SENTENCE YOU TO DEATH!!! WOOF-WOOF, MEOW!!! NO!!! THE REAL JOHN LENNON AND MILLARD FILLMORE WOULD NEVER COMMIT SUCH ATROCITIES!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

The resemblance is uncanny.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

11.5 by kaufman 12-03-04

In which boorite demonstrates how NOT to pick up women. James Polk's term expired, but Zachary Taylor refused to be sworn in on a Sunday. So by law the President pro tem of the Senate was President until Taylor was sworn in. He had his hand on the button. Well, actually, he napped all day. I was that guy.

35 by kaufman 12-03-04

Hello, tech support? Let me tell you what Microsoft can do for me today. First of all, I need a ... WHAT? No, I'm not going to ask you that. I called YOU for assistance, not the other way around! Let me talk to your supervisor. Just my bloody luck. I call up Microsoft tech support, and I get the reincarnation of John F. Kennedy!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

42.5 by CHUBBY 12-02-04

It's the truth! Says who? The Supreme Court, 5-4. Oh? And what exactly did they say? I are the reincarnitizationism of Dubya. I believe you now.

Some-assembly-required Komix by CHUBBY 11-03-04

Sunday, March 4, 1849. President-elect Zachary Taylor, who is to succeed President James K. Polk, refuses to be inaugurated on a Sunday, and moves the ceremony to noon Monday. Sunday noon, Polk's term expires, and David Rice Atchison, President pro tem of the Senate, automatically becomes acting president for a day. Unaware of this, he sleeps through his entire term. (INSERT PUNCHLINE HERE)

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

42.5 by CHUBBY 12-02-04

It's the truth! Says who? The Supreme Court, 5-4. Oh? And what exactly did they say? I are the reincarnitizationism of Dubya. I believe you now.

Some-assembly-required Komix by CHUBBY 11-03-04

Sunday, March 4, 1849. President-elect Zachary Taylor, who is to succeed President James K. Polk, refuses to be inaugurated on a Sunday, and moves the ceremony to noon Monday. Sunday noon, Polk's term expires, and David Rice Atchison, President pro tem of the Senate, automatically becomes acting president for a day. Unaware of this, he sleeps through his entire term. (INSERT PUNCHLINE HERE)

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Ah, Glorpy, I hardly knew ye.

For Boinky, in honor of his upcoming 2000th comic ...

41 & 43 by kaufman 12-23-04

Oh, by the way, I happen to be the reincarnation of George W. Bush. What a coincidence! I'm the reincarnation of George Herbert Walker Bush. Dad? Son! Listen, I'm sorry about bringing the broccoli dip to this party. Likewise, I'll just toss out this bag of pretzels.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Thanks, man of the kauf.