World's worst place to be at midnight on Dec. 31 / Jan. 1

Winner announced in 2005.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Zaster's Rockin' New Year's by Zaster 12-26-04

Hi, Zaster. Someone told me there was a big New Year's Eve blow-out at your house tonight! I think you want Zostar's place! That's all the way across town. Oh. I was just sitting here alone... wallowing in my depression. That's certainly awkward. Well, gotta run... Care for a drink? I just finished the whiskey but I haven't started on the Mad Dog yet.

---
I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

WW 34: Crappy New Year by biped 12-26-04

Crappy luck, getting stuck in an elevator on New Year's Eve, huh? Yes. I find it maddening. Quite maddening, indeed. By the way, my name's Biff. Biff McGurk. Hello, Biff. I'm the "Happy New Year Elevator Killer." Uhh... 10... 9... 8... 7... 6...

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

WW 34: Auld Hang Syne by Zaster 12-27-04

Well Amigo, it seems they're fixing to hang you at sunrise tomorrow. I'm sorry. I can't think of a worse way to spend New Year's Eve than contemplating that last round-up. That's why I'm going to stay here 'til midnight playing showtunes for you on my accordian.

---
I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

/topic: I Have No Life by possums 12-27-04

You have entered #stripcreator.

lol

---
Get Your War On

WW 34: Over The River And Through The Woods by biped 12-28-04

Come back here and fuck me like you MEAN it this time, ya little BASTARD! But Grandma -- I'm so TIRED! That's it...waller around real good in there... play like yer eatin' a big, juicy watermelon... oh...ohh...OH, MY GOMPERS!!! MMRRRGGLLFF!!! GAAAAAA!!! I'm gettin' OUTTA here!!! Well, Happy New Year, anyway -- ya little QUITTER!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

WW 34: A New Year for Beetle Bailey by fpd 12-28-04

So, Beetle, can you make it to our New Year's party? The kids would love to see their uncle. Sure thing, Lois. Beetle, pack your bags. They're sending us to Iraq. But Sarge, we've been in the army for fifty years without going to war. Why are they sending us now? Die, infidel! And a happy New Year to you too. Gosh, how is a guy supposed to get any sleep with all this racket going on?

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

WW34: In memoriam by quodlibet 1-03-05

Indonesia. Thailand. Sri Lanka. India. Happy New Year.

WW34: Many happy returns by quodlibet 1-03-05

I'm sorry, sir, you can't return any of those presents here without a receipt. Look, the Big Dude himself said that I could! Santa! Don't you believe in Santa Claus? How much long is this going to take? Be patient, dear. Weve only been in line for five days.

---
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

WW 34: Better Watch Out by biped 1-04-05

Now remember, everyone...Santa's always a little irritable right after Christmas. So try not to upset him or anything. Hey, Santa -- here's that vaccine you were going to give to those dying children. Heh -- I forgot to put it in your toy bag. Well, being buried alive in a giant pile of polar bear shit isn't so bad. And the size 12 boot up my ass fits nice and snug.

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Um...so what exactly is going on here, with respect to judging and all that?

WW34: Hurry! Hurry! by quodlibet 1-13-05

Don't you understand? There's only 358 days left until Christmas! There's no time left! Pharmacy's over that way, lady. Take a Valium. Chill.

---
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

WW 34: That's My Dad! by biped 1-14-05

Push, Ms. Etheridge! PUSH! Hey little dude...I'm David Crosby. Just wanted to be the first one to welcome you into the world. WHAT? I haven't even been BORN yet, you fucking IDIOT!

---
Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Some of you have asked me when I would be judging this thing. Read post #1. The winner is to be announced in 2005.

I will not let you down. And even though I can sit on this thing for 50 more weeks and await an even better entry, I will take the plunge, and award this coveted title to quodlibet. Congratulations!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Cool. :)

Look for WW35, coming to a computer terminal near you!

---
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.