Yay! Through the time-honored strategy of flooding, I won the last contest. The new contest is this:

FTC 55: Silent Movie by not_Scyess 2-05-05

Change the title and fill in the dialog, but keep the characters and background the same. You may, if you absolutely must, change one character or background, but it's more impressive if you to keep it the way it is.

Judging on Feb. 12 or so.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

FTC 55: This is how the world ends by quodlibet 2-05-05

Let's have anal sex. Fine! The day an alien with a discombobulator threatens the Earth, I'll do it! Aww..but that'll be never! Fuck.

FTC 55: The pitfalls of internet dating by quodlibet 2-05-05

Speaking as a friend, of course, I don't think you should meet this guy. Internet dating is just too weird. Speaking as my ex-boyfriend, you can just shut up. He DID tell me he's an alien living in New Mexico. You're just jealous of our wild orgy tonight. He...actually, you might have a point there.

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If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

FTC 55: Gray Matter by Zaster 2-05-05

Are you still working on homework, Sis? You'll be late for your abduction! Abduction? Your alien abduction. I traded you to the Grays for a next generation cellphone! Aliens make cellphones? We prefer the term "mind control induction unit".

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Alien Control! by BigFrank105 2-06-05

Amanda! You've been on that computer for 17 days! What the hell's going on? I'm talking with my internet boyfriend! We're meeting today! Don't worry, I'll be fine! I guess he's real energetic guy who's always ready for a good time! I don't think this is such a good idea... If I had a nickel for every one of my dates that ended like this... RARR! TOBOR CORNHOLE HOT BLONDE!

FTC 55: Brenda the Ass Queen by kaufman 2-06-05

Nice ass. Nice ass. gn*hf%'kklq$ Fnkk&bf^q.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

FTC 55: Alien Implant by quodlibet 2-07-05

What's that lump on your back? My hoodie, dimwit. Yeah, right. It looks like a D-cup implant to me. By an alien! So...where did you say you were from? Beautiful liquid silicon implant for Earthling technology!

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If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

FTC 55: Predictable Ending by Scyess 2-05-05

You think your online computer guys can give you something I can't? You think they're so great? You think they'll fulfill you? Oh, so now you're going! Just like that! To meet "him?" Just try to play the jealousy game! You'll be sorry! You'll live to regret this!! He just doesn't understand me like you do. Anal probe?

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"Old" is the old new.

FTC #55: All About The Jetsons by niteowl 2-07-05

Eep-opp-ork-ahh-ahh! Eep-opp-ork-ahh-ahh! You could've just taken over the world, but no. You had to implant a chip in my brain that translates all English to Jet Screamer lyrics. Why me? WHY ME? Because I love you. Wanna come back to my pod?

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

I creamed my pants with joy because of the last comic.

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

...and here I was worried that no one would get that comic because of the Jetsons reference. Thanks, Jesus.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Come on man! Everyone knows Eep-opp-ork-ahh-ahh means "take it like a bitch, Judy!"

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"If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family"

Holy crap, it's been a while since I've seen the Jetsons but I remember that entire episode. We've got a winner on our hands here.

Oops! I'm late!

Not many people entered... but I was able to narrow down the choices to just two. It was really hard to decide between them. However, I have to, otherwise FTCs will die forever, or I'll get lynched, or both. So I'm going to choose as the runner up comic:

FTC 55: Gray Matter by Zaster 2-05-05

Are you still working on homework, Sis? You'll be late for your abduction! Abduction? Your alien abduction. I traded you to the Grays for a next generation cellphone! Aliens make cellphones? We prefer the term "mind control induction unit".

In the event the winner does not claim his prize within 36 hours, this will be the de facto winner.

However, in the end, I had to award the ultimate prize to the utterly silly comic:

FTC 55: Brenda the Ass Queen by kaufman 2-06-05

Nice ass. Nice ass. gn*hf%'kklq$ Fnkk&bf^q.

Silly goes a long way. Go for it, kaufman.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002