Dubya's Improbable History by CHUBBY 2-10-05

Gee, Mr. Peabody, the democratic elections in Iraq went off without any major hitches. Guess Dubya knows what he's doing after all. He went in there to restore democracy. Sherman, you dumb fuck, that is the biggest load of dogshit I have heard in my entire life. And I'm a dog. Set the WABAC machine for 1953.

Dubya's Improbable History 2 by CHUBBY 2-10-05

Here we are in 1953. Is this Iraq? No, Iran. What does that have to do with Iraq today? If you'd shut your fuckin' yap for two seconds, I'd tell you, dumb ass. That's Kermit Roosevelt, Teddy's grandson. He's CIA, and he's plotting the overthrow of the leader of Iran. Was he a dictator like Saddam Hussein? No, he was democratically elected. We just didn't like him.

Dubya's Improbable History 3 by CHUBBY 2-10-05

We installed our boy as "The Shah of Iran" though he had no more claim to the Peacock Throne than I do. And when he died, his son succeeded him. Criminy, Mr. Peabody! You mean we replaced a democracy with a monarchy based on primogeniture? Well put, boy. Thank god we don't have that in the United States. But the new shah was the same as the old shah and people got tired of him and he was overthrown by the Ayatollah Khomeini. The Shah fled to the U. S. Iran demanded the extradition of the Shah so he could be tried for high crimes while in office. We refused. So they took our embassy hostage for 444 days. The hostages' return was negotiated by former CIA director George Herbert Walker Bush, who promised the Iranians arms if they would release the hostages-- --after the election, in which Bush was running as the opposition vice-presidential candidate. Jimmy Carter lost, largely because of his perceived ineffectiveness with the Iranian hostage crisis.

Dubya's Improbable History 4 by CHUBBY 2-10-05

So George H. W. Bush owes his career to the Iranian hostage crisis. So does Dubya. Not to mention Ted Koppel. But I digress. Iran got into a war with Iraq. What dog do you think we backed in that fight? Iran? No, I'm sorry, but we have some lovely parting gifts for you. We sold weapons of mass destruction to Iraq. Saddam Hussein was our boy, installed by the CIA in 1958. What kind of bottom-feeding, short-sighted, dumbass, venal, greedy piece of camel shit would sell WMD's to a murderous despot like Saddam Hussein? Donald Rumsfeld.

Dubya's Improbable History 5 by CHUBBY 2-10-05

Meanwhile, the Soviets had taken advantage of the instability in the area to conquer Afghanistan. Why? Well, Sherman, some historians say that Russian history can be read as one long quest for a warm-water port. But Afghanistan is landlocked. Nobody said the Soviets were too bright.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Dubya's Improbable History 6 by CHUBBY 2-10-05

Reagan was a born-again Christian, but in a fight between the Soviets and the Devil, Reagan would no doubt have made secret arms shipments to Hell. In this case, he backed the freedom-loving Taliban. When the freedom-loving Taliban took over, they, too established a fascist theocracy-- subjugating women, blowing up Buddhist temples, lopping off the odd limb for relatively minor offences..... ..... and providing a safe haven for all the other nutjob Islamic extremist terrorists, like Al-Qaeda and Osama bin-Laden.

Dubya's Improbable History 7 by CHUBBY 2-10-05

New York City. 0845. 9/11/01. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO SOMETHING, MR. PEABODY! But, dear boy, you said it was a good idea for the United States to become entangled in other countries' domestic affairs.

Dubya's Improbable History 8 by CHUBBY 2-10-05

Gee, Mr. Peabody. I was wrong. So was the government. Always backing the wrong fucking horse. The Shah. Hussein. The Taliban. Fucking with other peoples' business just because it's not good for our business-- the oil business. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" is not a good basis for foreign policy. No doubt Iraq will become a fascist theocracy, too, as soon as the troops withdraw. If they ever do. My boy, that's the first intelligent thing you've said all day.

Dubya's Improbable History 9 by CHUBBY 2-10-05

Saudi Arabia was the home of 19 of the hijackers. They seized American oil wells. They never had a democratic election until this week. And even then, women couldn't vote. Why didn't we invade them? Because they're in business with Dubya's daddy, that's why. Iraq posed no threat before the invasion. They do now. And now we've blown our credibility in the world. Reagan may have won the cold war, but he did it by getting us into this fix. I'd rather have the Russkies. They're bullies. Bullies back down if you stand up to them. Terrorists fight like retards.

Dubya's Improbable History 10 by CHUBBY 2-10-05

And by invading Iraq, we're losing the war in Afghanistan. Plus, the opium growers in Afghanistan are free to ply their trade again. Yes, your children's children will be feeling the effects of this. Or, at any rate, your nieces and nephews.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

I never knew what love was until you show'd me today. Thank you. *hugs*

...and the comics was funny too.

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Shame on Us for All We Have Done. May God Have Mercy on Our Dirty Little Hearts.

Well, you know what they say. 80_Million_Fleas can't be wrong.

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"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Bravo CHUBBY. Bravo.

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE