Dubya's Hubble Trouble by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Dubya, the Hubble telescope is broken. Well, send somebody up there to fix it. Ain't it still under warranty? It's too dangerous to send a man up there. Gotta do everything myself around here. Marge, get me Snooky on the horn. And call NASA, tell 'em to warm up the shuttle.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 2 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Hollywood, CA. 0415. *RING RING HEY IDIOT, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS? Oh, it's you, Mr. President. Of course you don't. What? OK, I'll be there as soon as I can. Well, Paris, I hate to eat and run but duty calls. That's hot.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 3 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Bill Exposition here for Faux News. The Hubble Telescope is broken, and Dubya has volunteered to fix it himself, along with his monkey friend. "Dubya is on the far right. Dubya, can you hear me?" Yes, Bob. "How did this mission come about?" Well Biff, when they said it was too dangerous to send a man up there, I decided to go instead.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 4 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Hey, you don't have an airsuit! That's ok. I can hold my breath a really long time. Yeah? Uh-huh. When I didn't get my way, I would hold my breath until I turned blue. Did it work? I don't remember. The doctor said it caused permanent brain damage.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 5 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

This is mission control. You have been cleared for takeoff. Do you read me? Yeah, I read you. I can't get it in gear or something. Is this automatic or standard? There. Oh, there we go. What'd you do? Took the parking brake off.

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 6 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Well, here we are at the Hubble. Let's get this fixed and get out of here. Are you sure you know what to do? How hard could it be? Are you experienced? Have you ever been experienced? I hooked up the White House for illegal cable. Wasn't that the day of the big blackout?

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 7 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Done. You fixed it? Yeah. They forgot to take the lens cap off. That's what I always do. Really? Yeah. I recall one day years ago back in Texas when I tried to take a picture of my Poppy on a grassy knoll-- oops, not s'posed to talk about that.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 8 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

OK, let's get outta here. Just a sec. I wanna look thru this telescope. The Northern Lights should look great from here. Holy mackerel! That's the most spectacular thing I've ever seen! Are you looking at the Aurora Borealis? No, Jennifer Aniston's house.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 9 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

C'mon, let's go. Just a sec. I'm watchin' that guy that does those clipart cartoons about me on the internets. Why? Blackmail. I saw him pick up a fat blonde-- a real pig! Now they're going to a motel. I don't think his wife would like that. Isn't that your daughter Jenna?   !

Dubya's Hubble Trouble X by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Can we go now? OK. Back to the ship and-- uh oh. Where's the ship? Left the danged parking brake off.

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 11 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into. The ship's gone. There's no other shuttle to rescue us. We have no radio. No food. FOOD! Man, I'm starving! How long is it? That's kind of personal, don't you-- No, I mean we've been marooned up here how long? About twenty minutes. I think I'm dyin'. Tell Laura I love her.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 12 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Hey, I just remembered! I got some fried pork rinds! Great. And some choclate syrup. See, I crumble up the pork rinds, and mix 'em with the chocolate. Want some? If I eat that, I'll puke. Cool. Then I'll get a hot meal.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 13 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Now I got indigestion. Go figure. Must be somethin' I ate. You think? I got it too. Must be somethin' you ate. She never affected me that way before.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 14 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

One last look at my beloved Paris. Paris, Texas? No. Paris, France? No, Paris Hilton. You love a hotel? Wadda they got, free HBO?

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 15 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Take me to your leader. GAAAAAAHHH!!! Hey, you don't like me, do you? I want you to know I judge a man not by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character. Is it because I'm Jewish?

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 16 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

I'm Hymie. I want you to know that I'm not prejudiced against aliens. OK. I know that aliens perform vital functions in our society that ordinary American citizens wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. Like what? Well, f'rinstance, performing anal probes on hillbillies.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 17 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Hey, c'mon! This alien's gonna give us a ride back to earth! OK. One last look at my beloved. Hey! What? There's something going on down there. Oscarsâ„¢ are a registered trademark of the Oscar Mayer Corporation. All rights reserved. I am being from the limo service. I'm here to take you to the Oscars.â„¢ That's hot.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 18 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Hey, E. T., give this thing some gas, can't ya? My old lady's been kidnapped! I gotta rescue her! C'mon, let's see what ya got! Warp speed! "I canna do it, Cap'n! I'm givin' it all I got!" That is the worst imitation I've ever seen of Cary Grant.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 19 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

C'mon ALF! Don't lose that limo! I just hope we get home in time for the Oscars. The Oscars? Yeah. I hope "Finding Neverland" wins. You are so gay.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 20 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

If we don't stop them, Al-Qaeda is going to use Paris as a human bomb and blow up the Academy! What luck! There's a Beverly Hills cop! Doesn't look like Eddie Murphy. Officer, you've got to help us! Paris has been kidnapped! That's a little bit outta my jurisdiction. Besides, what do I care about a bunch of frogs? Fuck 'em. Call the French consulate. They're in the phonebook.

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 21 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

OK, I guess we're going to have to do this ourselves. Dubya, you find Chris Rock and tell him to cancel the ceremony. We'll rescue Paris. I'm all over it! Meanwhile...... Thank you, Kate! Good luck tonight!-- God, that gown looks hideous on her! Yeah, what a pig! Who's next, Mom? Melissa, I told you never to call me Mom in public. People think we're sisters.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 22 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Are any of you Chris Rock? No. I'm Don Cheadle. I'm Jamie Foxx. I'm Morgan Freeman. I'm Oprah. How'm I ever gonna find him? They all look so much alike!

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 23 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Here comes that little tramp Paris Hilton. And look at that dress! It's-- I have that same dress. You gave it to me! --fabulous! What good taste! I will not be humiliated by Paris Hilton wearing the same designer dress as me. TAKE THAT DRESS OFF! NOW! That's hot.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 24 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Are you Chris Rock? Yes, I am. You gotta stop the ceremony! Why? There's a bomb! You're tellin' me. I saw "Catwoman".

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 25 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Hey, there's that Al-Qaeda guy! What do we do? I'll take care of it. Hey! Nice work. I think you got him.

---
"We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did." Groucho Marx

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 26 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

YOU TAKE THAT DRESS OFF NOW! That's hot. CAN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING BUT "THAT'S HOT"? That's hot. PARIS! TAKE OFF THE DAMN DRESS! That's hot.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 27 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

I got the dress, Mom, uh Joan. That's hot. That's hot.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 28 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Well, we did it. We saved the Academy. Aren't they mostly Democrats? Don't matter. I'd hate for anything to happen to them. That's nice. Til they put out that remake of "Porky's".

Dubya's Hubble Trouble 29 by CHUBBY 2-15-05

And thank you, Hymie. You saved our lives. Don't think we don't appreciate it. Thanks. It's not easy being Jewish. What can I do to repay you? Anything you want. Anything at all. Can I date your daughter? The tubby one? Don't push it, Jewboy.

Dubya's Hubble Trouble FIN by CHUBBY 2-15-05

Where's your girlfriend? Oh, I threw a blanket over her and put her in the back of the cop car. Oh. I just don't want people seeing her naked, you know? On my planet, her sex video is #1 best seller. That's hot.