Here's one of mine

Now that I've showed you mine, show me yours.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

I'm so glad I'm not working here anymore... by Drexle 9-20-01

Okay ma'am, the locksmith will be there in thirty minutes. Is there anything else I can help you with? A locksmith? You just called a locksmith? Yes, a locksmith... they open locks. You locked your keys in the car, hence a locksmith comes and opens it up. I can't believe this... a locksmith... don't you have a special person who comes out and does this kind of thing? Yeah, they're called "Locksmiths." *click!*

Something I've always wondered by evil_d 2-22-01

John, let me ask you something. What exactly do you do for this company? You know that; I'm a manager. I organize and direct other employees. And does our company *sell* management? Of course not. We sell computer software. So if my job has a direct impact on how much we earn, and your job consists solely of making my and my coworkers' jobs easier, why do you get a big office, while we have to share cubicles? I don't like where this conversation is headed. I think I might have to "manage" your access to the supply closet.

This wasn't written with any particular workplace in mind, though it does apply to my college's IS department, where I used to work. Of course, being a student technician, the privilege of sharing a cubicle was one of which I dared not even dream. No, I stayed there long enough to be able to yearn for the good old days when the 10 - 15 student techs all shared two Windows workstations and a single telephone extension.

Check out Robot Stories for some good comics about working in a retail job. Everyone should work in retail at least once.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

It's more a question of what Jesus wouldn't do by evil_d 3-11-01

My company only gives me one week of vacation per year. Then, while I'm taking it, they call me and tell me to come back to help meet some stupid deadline. I'd like to go punch my manager in the face for that. Or at least tell him off. But that would only make things worse. I wonder, what would Jesus do? Jesus! For starters, you can bet your ass I'd never work at no slave-driving company that only gives one week of vacation a year.

This one doesn't apply to anywhere I've ever worked. I get ten days of vacation, thank you very much.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

In a world run by lunatics, the sane are institutionalized by evil_d 4-14-01

Nothing like shutting down all my programs at the end of a long day. A long day during which I got assigned to a project that has no use for me, denied a promotion, and reprimanded for shoes that were too "casual". Are you sure you want to quit? Windows NT, you read my mind.

This comic is also not applicable to any place I've ever worked. In fact, I wear sneakers and jeans to work.

Another thing this comic is not is funny.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Work by gabe_billings 9-20-01

This morning this old man came in with a severe case of constipation. I had to manually disimpact him. I wore two pair of gloves and I still can't get the smell off my fingers. Eeeeewww... Then later we had a guy come in that was hit by a cement truck. We did CPR on him for about half an hour 'till pieces of his brain started coming out his nose. Wow. So what did you do today? I made a Flash animation of a monkey using the computer.

Though they didn't all happen on the same day, both the stories from my wife are true, as is mine about the monkey animations. (I actually spend a lot of time making monkey animations.)

She actually slipped me that story from the first panel while we were in bed and she was trying to cuddle. Which she found hard to do after I went and slept in my car with the doors locked, as far from her hands as possible.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

quote:

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This one doesn't apply to anywhere I've ever worked. I get ten days of vacation, thank you very much.

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...based on a true story! by DexX 9-21-01

February... Hey, this program is great, but it has some really nasty bugs that make it a loss less enjoyable to use. When is it likely to be patched? Well I have checked with the programmers involved and they are busy on another project. Maybe April? May... ...thanks for the advice on how to get around the big bugs in the program. They have been really helpful! I am wondering, though... patch? That project in March has run over-time, so the patch has been delayed. The boss has told me it will be out in July. September... ...so I have started using a few other programs in the meantime, and I am saving up for Dreamweaver. Whatever happened to that patch, incidentally? Here's a hint: I am the tech support guy for this product, but I am the only staff member assigned. Getting the idea?

This was my life for a year, working for a company doing tech support for a product which the company had no interest in, had no plan to upgrade or patch (despite a bug list literally two typed pages long), and which had only one staff member assigned to it (yes, me) at the time I quite to go back to university. It always gave me an odd feeling when I asked for news of a patch or new version, was told a pile of lies, lies which I knew were lies, which I then dutifully passed on to users.

Tech support is so much fun!!! Just ask LadyJ, she'll back me up...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

LadyJ Backs Up DexX by kaufman 9-21-01

BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP Just keep going, a few yards more, you're doing fine. BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

quote:

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quote:

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This one doesn't apply to anywhere I've ever worked. I get ten days of vacation, thank you very much.

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I'm so jealous. Then again, I'm 17.

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[trilogy]

Temping Sucks. by habnem 8-06-01

I wonder if I locked the door this morning.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

Temping Still Sucks. by habnem 8-06-01

Jesus? What are you doing here?! I'm not here. You fell asleep, asshole.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

Temping Sucks: Finale by habnem 8-06-01

I fell asleep at work and I'm dreaming? Cool! Yep. Watch me catch fire! I'm a cowboy! Woo-hoo! Go Jesus! Go Jesus! It's your birthday! Umm... Can I make a payment?

[/trilogy]

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

...and here's another, hot off the presses:

Busy Work Theatre by habnem 9-23-01

Be sure to affix all 2,000 labels in ZIP-code order, or they won't be mailed properly. Right, Jo. Oh--and Xerox the labels first. We have to have copies for our files. Right, Jo. The next week. Did you remember to enclose the Address Quality form when you mailed those fliers? FUCK you, Jo.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

The Hardest Work is Finding Work by israphael 9-23-01

Jon, you look like shit. How did the job hunting go? It was a long and grueling process. I had to wait an hour and a half before anyone saw me. Then I had to fill out a 25 page application, take a drug test, and pass a lie detector test. Finally, I had an interview with the CEO of the company. I thought that went well, until he asked me a question I didn't know how to answer. Why? What did he ask? Bowels in or bowels out?

[hr]

This strip is related to work-related. Until recently, I hadn't had to go out on job interview. Now I remember why I hated them so much.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

A Sticky Situation... by Thomasisneat 9-04-01

There is no punchline... someone poured glue all over me and now I'm stuck.

I am so fucking funny!

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Lots of people think anonymity brings them at a higher level of power... I just think it makes them larger dickheads than they really are in person. :-D

Ohhh... Work related! I'm sorry, I mis-interpreted the post title. Well anyway that comic is fucking funny, but here is one that is sorta work related...

How to Get out of Work with no Consequences Whatsoever! by Thomasisneat 9-04-01

Hey, Frank! How the hell have you been??? Long time no see since that on the job accident... I haven't been doing too bad, John, but off the records, I did that "on the job" accident accident to myself so I wouldn't have to work anymore! You sly sonofabitch! Leave it to ol' Frank to try and get out of work! Hey, I was about to go down to the pub on 52nd and first to go get some brewskies. Wanna come with? Thanks, but no thanks, John. I'm starting to feel the effects of the brain damage from the nail... Well that's a damn shame... well I'm gonna go over right now. Say hi to your wife and kids, Frank! Gah gah... naily in my brainy... Aaagh! Flying meatballs!

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Lots of people think anonymity brings them at a higher level of power... I just think it makes them larger dickheads than they really are in person. :-D

Or would I rather be a fish? by ObiJo 8-30-01

So you just tell the congressman that if the price of cereal doesn't go down, I'm gonna..I'm gonna...I'm gonna bomb somebody! Boy, maybe politics isn't the life for me. So, you see, the adiabatic invariants tell you not only the plasma particle's position, but its position at any given time in a reference timeframe. Antimatter doesn't seem nearly as fun as it did on Star Trek. So give us a call at Big Ed's Truckin' and let Big Ed put the you in truckin'. Yee haw! Where's the phone?

I'm not a truck driver. I just wish I was sometimes.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

That's so Vasquezian... I like. :)

Comic Contests 7 and 48 were about job interviews.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

The Eternal Punishment of Andy Dougan by andydougan 3-15-01

Andy Dougan, film critic with "The Evening Times", is at the cinema. Hoi, you! Get off your crucifix. I can't see the screen. Crumbs! It's Jesus himself! I've done it now! Centuries later... And now, yet another screening of "Proof of Life"!

A double-feature including "Proof of Life" and "Space Cowboys" would be even more hellish, in my opinion.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Or a triple-feature with "Exit Wounds". Shudder.

...or a whole movie marathon with Jurassic Park III.

*shudder*

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

With the "Halloween" series thrown in for good measure. Convulse.