Just decided to post a really old really dirty lymmric and see if anyone else has some doozies rather than the standard nantucket. Post them as comics if you want, text only, just as good.

"There once was a whore from Adore.
Who'd have sex with two men or more.
But her partition split,
and the jism and shit,
rolled out in great lump on the floor.

---
At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

btw, I do know its Limerick, for whatever reason my changes to the preview didnt take when I spell checked it. *shrug*

---
At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

There's a lesson in that somewhere.

There once was a man from Madras,
who had two balls made of brass.
When he clanged them together,
there was stormy weather,
and lightning shot out of his ass.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

There once was a man from Stamboul
Who soliloquised thus to his tool:
"You've stolen my wealth,
you've ruined my health,
and now you wont pee, you old fool"

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

there once was a woman from eeling...
who had a peculiar feeling
so she layed on her back
spread wide her crack
and pissed all over the celing

sorry if it's tame, or pointless, but there hasn't been a demand for dirty limmericks since i was a wee little boy... you have the brits to thank for that one, and if eeling isn't spelled right i never saw it written...

---
"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel..." - homer

A woman whose heels were so rounded,
that she fucked 40 sailors we counted,
then blew them in turn,
from the aft to the stern,
leaving the captain astounded.

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

There once was a woman from Kent,
who told me I should get bent.
Thought of whacking her head,
But decided instead,
to bury her in some cement.

It's not really dirty, but I just wrote it and wanted to share.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

quote:

---

There once was a woman from Kent,
who told me I should get bent.
Thought of whacking her head,
But decided instead,
to bury her in some cement.

It's not really dirty, but I just wrote it and wanted to share.

---

how odd this thread should pop up! i did this a month or so ago:

Limerick Time! (thanks, dad) by habnem 8-18-01

*Ahem* There once was a woman named Alice / who used dynamite as a phallus... They found her vagina / in North Carolina... And the rest of her body in Dallas. Thank you very much.

---
- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

I'm in North Carolina. That mauled and cauterized vagina was not a pretty sight, let me tell you.

There once was a guy from Chicago
who couldn't rhyme for fuck
and... uh... his meter stank
somethin' about his crank...
and he ran out of ideas and said screw it.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

quote:

---

A woman whose heels were so rounded,
that she fucked 40 sailors we counted,
then blew them in turn,
from the aft to the stern,
leaving the captain astounded.

---

It stunk, but.... it's mine. :- )

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

There once as a Glasvegan stripper
whose zingers could hardly be hipper
Though witty he was
and his barbs caused a buzz
he produced his best joke from his zipper

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

There once was a man from Saskatoon
Who kept a whole ham in his pantaloons
Which made it so meaty
When he cuddled his sweetie
That both of them called it a "greasy spoon"

OH JESUS CHRIST FORGIVE ME

---
What others say about boorite!

An oldie of mine...

It's a county in Ireland... seriously! by DexX 1-12-01

Limerick interruptus... There was an old lady from Grunte, Who enjoyed the occasional "shunt"... But when asked, "Do your dentures, give oral adventures?" She said that she... AAAARGH!!!! Let that be a lesson to all of you.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

quote:

---

There once as a Glasvegan stripper
whose zingers could hardly be hipper
Though witty he was
and his barbs caused a buzz
he produced his best joke from his zipper

---

quote:

---

quote:

---

There once as a Glasvegan stripper
whose zingers could hardly be hipper
Though witty he was
and his barbs caused a buzz
he produced his best joke from his zipper

---

"Glasvegan"?! Sorry, I don't know how that ended up there. Shoulda said "Glaswegian" obviously...

---

There once was a gal from Encino
Whose pussy was rated mas fino
But she looked like a rhino
Disguised as a wino
And, on a bad day, Al Pacino

A man from out west, let's say Frisco
Was strutting his stuff in a disco,
The evening got gay,
And when he wouldn't play,
The pants'd him and called for more Crisco

A homely old hooker from London
Said: "Aye, let's go an have fun 'den!"
So for fear he'd be blint,
Her trick pulled a pint,
And said: "First let me have some more rum, 'den!"

You mum was an easy old cuss,
Who'd put out with nary a fuss,
She'd do it all day,
For a ha'penny's pay,
But she always had change for the bus

Yeah, I know....

They stink.

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

You write those all yourself? They weren't half bad.

They were all bad. HA! I thought that was funny. (They were really pretty good.)

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Yeah.

Thanks :- )

---
I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Now I definately need to buy you a beer.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

An old lady well endowed but blind
Said her breasts put her into a Bind
for when she let them hang loose
she'd be attacked by her goose
For they looked not unlike old melon rind

There was this tough biker name Charley
Who'd drink too much Hops & Barley
If he went for a spin
for the condition he'd be in
He'd was often found mounting his Harley.

Once old preacher Pat, so Rotund and Fat
would oft nip too much holy wine.
He was once found by Mable
in the back of her stable
Consumating his marriage to her Swine.

Michelle, Michelle, who's great swinging Bells
Caused her adorers to trip & stumble
She sucked out the steam
of the whole wrestling team
Saying "Let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!!"

---
At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

i'm las vegan. his cock really was a joke.

---
- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars