SetYourAssOnFire by matclarke 5-17-05

Your ass is like onions. Oo kay... It brings tears to my eyes. Nah. That’s just the carcinogenic death smoke.

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I'd tell you what I REALLY thought, but it'd probably make you burst itno tears, curl up into a ball, and suck your thumb for a few hours, so I'll sugar coat it for you. You suck. At the funny. Stuff. But keep at it. Maybe you'll get better. Or maybe you'll get worse or stay the same. That's what my money's on.

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

You make me want to be a better man, hari-nezumi.

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Glad I could help.

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

I think that's your weakest comic. The ones you didn't post are pretty good.

Thank you sir

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I think your comics would be funnier if you made them funnier.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

What about this one

EasyBake by matclarke 5-18-05

Does there seem to be a problem? Yeah, I can't SEEM to take a shit in peace? Please forgive me. YOU'RE STILL NOT GONA GET THAT EASYBAKE OVEN WITH INTERIOR LIGHT AND THE VARIABLE HEAT SETTING!

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That was funnier.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I am trying to be funny damn it! Why Lord why cant I be funnier!?

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You can. In fact, that's exactly what biped said.

I liked the last one better than the previous ones, too. Maybe fuzzyman's comment in the first panel was a little hard to place in a context at first, but I'd rate it a "good" comic.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

I took fuzzyman out and had santa yelling. Thanks to scyess recommendation. I like this version better!

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I don't understand why "seem" is in capital letters in the first panel. It seems an odd place to put emphasis in that sentence.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Santa's emphasizing the "seem" to throw fuzzy's opening statement back at him by mocking his pretentious use of the word. In other words: sarcasm. Italics would also have worked.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Yup!

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What about this one? On the last two I've tried the random layout and went from there.

BlindDate by matclarke 5-19-05

Hello. Uh, hi. She looks like the right size for a lamp shade made out of human skin and the Gimp might like her. Hmm. He really doesn't look like his pic. Then again, maybe I'm just not ready for a relationship. That was a close one! Fucking liar, he wasn't even that athletic and he was much shorter than he said.

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Meh.

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

The last couple I tried using the random layout, this one I set up myself. Let me know if you like it.

RefuseTruckSales by matclarke 4-28-05

You seem to lossing a bit of weight, Ernie. I've been keeping myself on a pretty strict diet. What's that your snacking on? Vienna Sausage. I love these things. Don't they make you thirsty? A little bit. I wash it down with the juice though.

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I also tried reworking BlindDate

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What about this steaming loaf?

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