I added another to this set today, so I thought I'd post the whole damn thing:

True Tales of Job Interviews (1) by choadwarrior 4-25-04

When I worked in Human Resources, this was my favorite trick question to ask when conducting interviews: What kind of people do you find difficult to work with? I get along with everybody--I don't care if I work alongside the biggest butthole on the planet. Oh god! He just said "butthole" in an interview. Because if he is the biggest butthole on the planet... NOOOOOOOOOO! He said it again! Did you drop something under your desk?

True Tales of Job Interviews (2) by choadwarrior 4-25-04

What kind of people do you find difficult to work with? I would have to say............... Muslims. Hmmm....and...um... how would you deal with that? They're traitors. When I was in the Philipines army, I always put my Muslims up front on patrol so they wouldn't shoot me in the back. This is a very diverse workplace. Do you let your Muslims carry guns?

True Tales of Job Interviews (3) by choadwarrior 4-25-04

What responsibilities did you have in your last job? The difference between a .38 caliber and a .45 caliber round is the stopping power. What the hell does he think I asked him. Plus, in a 1911 model, you can get a 10 round clip plus one in the chamber--that's five more rounds than a revolver. Um...this is an accounting job. So?

True Tales of Job Interviews (4) by choadwarrior 4-25-04

What qualities do you feel are necessary to be a good supervisor? I try to be a father figure to my employees. FATHER FIGURE? Even if he wasn't so zitty and greasy, he'd still look like a teenager. I like to nurture them and impart my wisdom, so they can benefit from my vast experience. You seem wise beyond your years. I also want them to come to me with their personal problems.

True Tales of Job Interviews (5) by choadwarrior 4-25-04

I stopped asking this question after this guy... What do you do for fun? Reading is my passion. I also enjoy other intellectual pursuits. In fact, I NEVER watch TV. Ooh! Except for Star Trek!

True Tales of Job Interviews (6) by choadwarrior 4-25-04

What sort of work environment are you most comfortable in? I've been working a long time, and I prefer a professional environment. ....... Did you just toot?

True Tales of Job Interviews (7) by choadwarrior 4-25-04

This is my sister... Tell me how you have helped foster diversity in the workplace. Oh, that's easy. I can work with anyone. Even a woman.

True Tales of Job Interviews (8) by choadwarrior 4-25-04

Why do you want this promotion? I hope some day to buy new trousers. Actually, he had pants on in the interview...for some reason, he said that in his thank-you letter.

True Tales of Job Interviews (9) by choadwarrior 4-28-04

I haven't been able to find anyone for your warehouse clerk position. I'm desperate. I'll take anyone--what about that last lady you interviewed? Trust me--she wouldn't have worked out... Flashback to an hour earlier... What kind of jobs have you had in the past? Mostly nigger work.

True Tales of Job Interviews (10) by choadwarrior 5-12-04

My name is Eric, I'll be conducting your interview. Nice to meet you. So why did you leave your last job? That's a funny story, Kevin. Actually, my name is still Eric. I really have to get off the liquor.

True Tales of Job Interviews (11) by choadwarrior 8-29-05

What word do you think most describes you? Whiny. I really don't think we have room in this company for another whiny person. NO-oooooooo!

That's good stuff. Write more.

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

Your wish is my command. Another true one.

True Tales of Job Interviews (12) by choadwarrior 8-30-05

What can you bring to this organization? I'm really nervous. It's okay...take your time. It's not a difficult question. I just hadn't ever thought about my job that way. Anything...just tell me anything you can bring to the table. FOOD!

i second that emotion. creative use of the news desk guy too

i'd be curious to know if you hired any of them, though. i think i would have given the nod to trouser guy. he seemed pretty grounded

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what if nigger meant kite

I'm not sure about the two guys my sister interviewed, although I don't think they got the jobs. As for mine, the only person who was hired was the guy who could bring food to the table, as he was otherwise a good applicant who was just stumped by an easy question.

Did you eventually have to let him go for failing to bring any food to the table?

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-=- You eat one lousy foot and they call you a cannibal. What a world. -=-

True Tales of Job Interviews (13) by choadwarrior 9-15-05

Why are you interested in this human resources job? I know you have a very diverse company and I really value the equal opportunities you provide people from all walks of life. And what salary are you looking for? If I name a salary first, you'll just try and Jew me down.

Because that would put Chinks in her self-esteem.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Legendary stuff. My faves list is getting too crowded...

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

i ROFLed really really hard.

thanks.

this set's one of my all-time favs (this and "Filing Clerk, VIP")

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.